The case of a 12 year old girl supposedly commiting a devious crime against a 5 year old boy hurtled around the world and was relayed to people throughout a bewildered community before anyone on the ground got to hear what really happened. 'Attempted murder!' screamed most headlines and the court of public opinion was being cast come teatime. (1)
Given the level of coverage of the story and the venom hurled at the young girl surely the media and official line must be true? In the days and weeks following the case being made public typing in 'Earlsheaton hanging' into a Google search revealed many entries for papers around the globe - all with the same (associated press?) tagline stringing the girl up. Go to internet chat forums about the case and the discussion largely follows the same thread - ' she is evil, her parents must be wasters, what kind of community allows such a thing to happen?, what is the world coming to?' and so on. (2)
More to this than meets the eye? - quite possibly so. However, initial contacts didn't look good. Some two weeks after the event first broke I asked a couple of older teenagers from the area what they thought about it. Not good - 'she's an evil cow and she should be locked up' came the reply. Punters in the local pubs no longer wanted to talk about it - they were sick of having intrusions into their private lives and having their words twisted around and used against them - the girl, her family and the wider community all held up to be in a state of moral degeneracy and confidences betrayed.
Ongoing reports in the media talked of the park where the incident occured as an area where gangs of 'feral youth' caused mayhem. Yet 3-4 trips revealed the usual park activities - dog walkers, parents and children and 'gangs' of kids all enjoying usual park like activities. Sure, there had been the odd spot of vandalism but the park largely served it's function well and is definitely not a no-go area.
A 19 yr. old youth, wrapped up warm for a cold evening, said the area could do with lighting up to make it safer; so that such things do not happen again. Suspicion? In that case maybe he should be wary of talking to strangers in raincoats in dark parks and I should avoid hoodied and baseball-hatted youth in the same - who knows what might happen? A better case for lighting up the park would be to extend its use in winter time.
The best news came from talking to the groups of scattered cherubs that presumably make up this 'feral youth'. Quite an encouraging picture of youth culture emerged. Yes there was the odd fallout amongst friends, the general ribbing and mickey-taking but all kiss and make up stuff, and par for the course.
I asked whether there was bullying but the kids generally looked after each other and nothing much really goes amiss. Here was where the young lady really scored her points. Any kid has their detractors and one or two did have their disagreements but the overwhelming impression was that this 'evil young girl' was actually quite well liked and despite her personal problems (seeing her mother die suddenly on Xmas day 2004 for one) reasonably well balanced. She stood her ground when cornered and defended her mates when they were picked on, she would share her school dinner amongst her friends if they had forgotten their money and so forth. Hardly evil then.
It further transpires that she would study at home and even set herself extra work. Steve, her father, says she runs rings around him with her abilities. He was reluctant to say too much given the character assasination of his daughter and self - a quiet and tidy man who, when gardening on a hot day and enjoying a beer, saw himself labelled an alcoholic in the media. He hasn't bought a paper since and rarely watches the news and, even rarer, dare have a drink. Him, his daughter and the community want no more bad press and hope that this will all blow over so they can get on with rebuilding their lives. He speaks to his daughter daily on the phone and despite everything they are ok, if not slightly sullen. It's an extremely humbling experience to hear him talk of things not being so bad now - that he can see his daughter without counselling services being present.
There is not much good feeling within the wider community towards the family of the boy involved. Close and friendly neighbours, perhaps, but after taking their thirty pieces o' silver and scarpering off to a new life most in the area feel that the guilty party has been let off the hook - chat rooms, opinion pieces and workplaces laying into this party perhaps unfairly too. Comments ask how come a small boy can wander off and end up in such a situation? Yet given what I've found out about the community he seems to be largely in safe hands and it is some testimony to the companionship within such a place that he can do so.He has recovered from his 'ordeal' and 'injuries'. So much that he was back out playing soon after all the fuss and was lastly reported wishing he had a girlfriend. Clearly then, not put off the fairer sex.
The young lady has quite a good reputation amongst her peers and the neighbourhood, even in her unwarranted absence. Everyone hopes things will blow over and get back to 'normal', yet she has a blot on her character and possibly something that will lurk at the back of her mind and undermine her.
From what has been found out from people that genuinely know her she does have tremendous character and allowed herself to carry the can in a case that never should have been. The facts of the case as presented do not seem to match up to reality - perhaps the real reason why it took some nine attempts to get a truth to fit the billing?
And also allowed a lot of grown ups to make themselves look big.
The worst 'crime' that this young lady has done was to have a child's game or prank go maybe that little bit too far - everyday childhood experiences where boundaries are learnt naturally. In this case it was the girl herself who sorted the boy out after his ordeal - she bought him a drink and, apparently, called for an ambulance. In the mainstream media this was reported as bribery. After their shenanigans the word hypocrisy springs to mind.
No doubt offered counselling by 'concerned' authorities so she can come to terms with her 'defects'. Maybe it's their heavy handed and shameful approach that needs re-examining.
After all - they started it.
See also -
(1)http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=daily+mirror+earlsheaton+hanging&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
(2)http://www.onlinearsenal.com/forums/printthread.php?t=5208&pp=40
http://www.thesims.co.uk/forum/printthread.php?t=14699
These views are typical apart from the immediate locale.
(3)Very good reporting can be found in the 7th. October 2005 edition of The Press (Dewsbury paper) , email news@dewsburypress.co.uk
(4)http://www.westyorkshire.police.uk/section-item.asp?sid=12&iid=1568
(5)http://www.instituteofideas.com/publications/index.html - 'Who's antisocial? New Labour and the politics of antisocial behaviour'.
ASBOs: Politicians behaving badly http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CA9C0.htm
Sunday, December 25, 2005
What's working?
It seems a bit rich the government launching another review of the benefit system and hassling the unemployed. Sure, everyone should work and that work should be beneficial, progressive and rewarding and maybe people shouldn't be 'wasters'. Ok, notwithstanding the usual antagonisms of the employer/employee relationship and some utopian vision of a better society then surely official ideology should be held up to more scrutiny?
Whilst far eastern economies are beginning reaping the rewards of progressive development the angst of our western leaders stifles much that is forward. Itself mocking New Labour's slogan 'Forwards, not back' and, indeed, 'Thiiings can only get bettter'.
Yeah, right, it would be hilarious if the consequences weren't likely to be disastrous. Britain is stuck in the mud and our leaders seem to like wallowing in it or being beholden to the stuff (mayan rebirthing and environmentalism (1).
UK industry is in a right state - it cannot use the talents of the workforce properly, is mired in reams of bureaucracy (what happened to saving the rainforest?) and 'real' jobs are losing out to low skilled work or growth in layers of admin.
The benefit system is not one that offers a decent existence and to some could be a cop out but given that the powers that be seem to be doing their utmost to hamper everything progressive maybe they should give themselves a looking over while they are at it.
What are our MPs for anyway? (2)
Of further interest -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/4617308.stm
http://www.instituteofideas.com/transcripts/policywatch12.pdf
Cheap shots -
(1)http://www.newhumanist.org.uk/volume118issue2_comments.php?id=8_0_2_0_C
(2)http://www.wakefieldtoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=702&ArticleID=1308889
Whilst far eastern economies are beginning reaping the rewards of progressive development the angst of our western leaders stifles much that is forward. Itself mocking New Labour's slogan 'Forwards, not back' and, indeed, 'Thiiings can only get bettter'.
Yeah, right, it would be hilarious if the consequences weren't likely to be disastrous. Britain is stuck in the mud and our leaders seem to like wallowing in it or being beholden to the stuff (mayan rebirthing and environmentalism (1).
UK industry is in a right state - it cannot use the talents of the workforce properly, is mired in reams of bureaucracy (what happened to saving the rainforest?) and 'real' jobs are losing out to low skilled work or growth in layers of admin.
The benefit system is not one that offers a decent existence and to some could be a cop out but given that the powers that be seem to be doing their utmost to hamper everything progressive maybe they should give themselves a looking over while they are at it.
What are our MPs for anyway? (2)
Of further interest -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/4617308.stm
http://www.instituteofideas.com/transcripts/policywatch12.pdf
Cheap shots -
(1)http://www.newhumanist.org.uk/volume118issue2_comments.php?id=8_0_2_0_C
(2)http://www.wakefieldtoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=702&ArticleID=1308889
Friday, December 16, 2005
(Actually) Cider with Rosie
Google's earth programme is a must see - highly recommended. Words almost fail me. You can type in anywhere - I've just relived my youth @ po13 0ll.
Enjoy yourselves.
http://earth.google.com/
Enjoy yourselves.
http://earth.google.com/
Monday, December 12, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
Review (sort of): The politics of fear: beyond left and right.
This review does not intend to provide a complete insight into this book but merely covers the parts recalled or that caused myself to think of what the author's message is.
Much of Furedi's work once read and seemingly not absorbed at the time has a tendency to creep up on you - Mythical past, elusive future, for example (1). It has resonance and I am a fan though would not call myself a sycophant. Yes, I'd buy him a pint and maybe even ask for an inspirational quote in a book. I even considered nominating a spot in Prospect's leading intellectual poll. Though am sure he wouldn't appreciate an enamel badge being struck.
To those familiar with Furedi's work a significant part of the book covers ground that has been issued in essay form - perhaps an unbeknownst recognition of the fact that there is a great deal of competition for our attentions (2) and he is inadvertently accommodating to this. Books most definitely have their uses but in a fast paced world where lies travel around the world before teatime then information of worth needs presenting in many forms. In this though his early essays serve to soften up the reader before the book proper. Perhaps academic training on the sly?
In this I must apologise to many an author for an often scant recall of their works. Sometimes it's a mere passage or sentence that hits home. A key one in The politics of fear is when that shibboleth of the left is probed - religion. Advocating the devil mayhaps? It does sort out the fakers from the makers (one day I'll grow out off this but for now it's lubricant) and makes a wannabe consider what they are on about. In a non polarised but fragmented society it could also offer something of a key to newer engagements and thinking.
The ending session at the Battle of Ideas (3) event provided a spirited and reasonably anglo-saxon rejoinder* against this point. Some dissenters maybe missing out that the event seemed aimed at analysing the strengths of contemporary ideas and how we begin to deal with them. Maybe I'm astray here as my mind was, as always, preoccupied with other matters.
The range, calibre and quality of contributors was impressive enough to make the inquisitive question themselves and maybe attempt a gearchange. Dare we take the first step? A willingness to study and challenge one's own thoughts and motivations? Perhaps then an ability to remain focused in debates and rise above bar room banter?
I think so. I had a humbling experience observing the sixth form debate re sustainable architecture - a subject I really ought to be able to talk about by now. A couple of teenagers revealed a reasonable enough grasp of their subject to offer a confident and commanding delivery. The fact that I disagreed with their views, and worse - they hoped to become members of the legal profession, was alarming. I wanted to offer my twopenceworth but couldn't. Not very full vessel requires filling.
Getting back to the book -
The phrase pre-political also interests and seems somewhat ambivalent for aren't the problems we are dealing with those of a state actually in some disarray? Whose adherents lack a positive message and latch onto any bandwagon going to score points, comfortable in the knowledge that rivalries just aren't what they were. Whether new kid on the block, Cameron, can prove up to the task is debatable and better commentators have raised this. If perhaps he mounted a strong case for investment in development and industry rather than the stifling growth in bureacracy under Labour then I may even vote. I've done worse, albeit with no illusions.
Our politicians are daily ridiculed for the most part. There are maybe good ones amongst them but it seems to be something of a quagmire. The ridicule part is the easy bit but as a strategy makes poor politics. There is perhaps an element of fiddling while Rome burns; UK politics desperately in need of a volte-face and, on the surface at least, not getting one. One wouldn't profess expertise at any level but all projections thus far have proved optimistic and selfcongratulatory obscuring the fact that there are quite big problems ahead on current track. How to turn that around seems beyond their ken.
How long before the pre-political becomes Political and to what extent is it necessary, in particular, for the UK?
(1)http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0745305318/qid=1134624695/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_0_1/026-0715067-7125224
http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAD5B.htm
(2) At 169 pages and for less than the price of a reasonable evening's entertainment there are few - if any - excuses for not reading and discussing such a book.
(3)http://www.battleofideas.co.uk/
*http://thesaurus.reference.com/search?q=rejoinder
For the aspiring radical a reading of Norman Geras' The legacy of Rosa Luxemburg further illuminates this book. Although by no means discussing the same circumstances.
Much of Furedi's work once read and seemingly not absorbed at the time has a tendency to creep up on you - Mythical past, elusive future, for example (1). It has resonance and I am a fan though would not call myself a sycophant. Yes, I'd buy him a pint and maybe even ask for an inspirational quote in a book. I even considered nominating a spot in Prospect's leading intellectual poll. Though am sure he wouldn't appreciate an enamel badge being struck.
To those familiar with Furedi's work a significant part of the book covers ground that has been issued in essay form - perhaps an unbeknownst recognition of the fact that there is a great deal of competition for our attentions (2) and he is inadvertently accommodating to this. Books most definitely have their uses but in a fast paced world where lies travel around the world before teatime then information of worth needs presenting in many forms. In this though his early essays serve to soften up the reader before the book proper. Perhaps academic training on the sly?
In this I must apologise to many an author for an often scant recall of their works. Sometimes it's a mere passage or sentence that hits home. A key one in The politics of fear is when that shibboleth of the left is probed - religion. Advocating the devil mayhaps? It does sort out the fakers from the makers (one day I'll grow out off this but for now it's lubricant) and makes a wannabe consider what they are on about. In a non polarised but fragmented society it could also offer something of a key to newer engagements and thinking.
The ending session at the Battle of Ideas (3) event provided a spirited and reasonably anglo-saxon rejoinder* against this point. Some dissenters maybe missing out that the event seemed aimed at analysing the strengths of contemporary ideas and how we begin to deal with them. Maybe I'm astray here as my mind was, as always, preoccupied with other matters.
The range, calibre and quality of contributors was impressive enough to make the inquisitive question themselves and maybe attempt a gearchange. Dare we take the first step? A willingness to study and challenge one's own thoughts and motivations? Perhaps then an ability to remain focused in debates and rise above bar room banter?
I think so. I had a humbling experience observing the sixth form debate re sustainable architecture - a subject I really ought to be able to talk about by now. A couple of teenagers revealed a reasonable enough grasp of their subject to offer a confident and commanding delivery. The fact that I disagreed with their views, and worse - they hoped to become members of the legal profession, was alarming. I wanted to offer my twopenceworth but couldn't. Not very full vessel requires filling.
Getting back to the book -
The phrase pre-political also interests and seems somewhat ambivalent for aren't the problems we are dealing with those of a state actually in some disarray? Whose adherents lack a positive message and latch onto any bandwagon going to score points, comfortable in the knowledge that rivalries just aren't what they were. Whether new kid on the block, Cameron, can prove up to the task is debatable and better commentators have raised this. If perhaps he mounted a strong case for investment in development and industry rather than the stifling growth in bureacracy under Labour then I may even vote. I've done worse, albeit with no illusions.
Our politicians are daily ridiculed for the most part. There are maybe good ones amongst them but it seems to be something of a quagmire. The ridicule part is the easy bit but as a strategy makes poor politics. There is perhaps an element of fiddling while Rome burns; UK politics desperately in need of a volte-face and, on the surface at least, not getting one. One wouldn't profess expertise at any level but all projections thus far have proved optimistic and selfcongratulatory obscuring the fact that there are quite big problems ahead on current track. How to turn that around seems beyond their ken.
How long before the pre-political becomes Political and to what extent is it necessary, in particular, for the UK?
(1)http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0745305318/qid=1134624695/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_0_1/026-0715067-7125224
http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAD5B.htm
(2) At 169 pages and for less than the price of a reasonable evening's entertainment there are few - if any - excuses for not reading and discussing such a book.
(3)http://www.battleofideas.co.uk/
*http://thesaurus.reference.com/search?q=rejoinder
For the aspiring radical a reading of Norman Geras' The legacy of Rosa Luxemburg further illuminates this book. Although by no means discussing the same circumstances.
More thoughts on dancing . . . .
(Got some Edith Piaf duet on at the mo' (pass the tissues) *(' A life lived in fear is a life half-lived' from Strictly Ballroom. pff!)
I've always loved dancing. From being a kid in the juniors and getting all excited about clutching Maria Jarvis's sweaty palms in scottish country dancing to dancing like a complete twat to happy hardcore (how old are ya? It was a rite of passage for my daughter and I must admit it did put a smile on my face) or even back in my teenage years when dancing meant exploding.
My interest was rekindled when a few years ago I read of a Tango event held in a park in that there London, apparently held over two separate weekends. The first weekend attracted some 400 but for the second, when it rained, 200 turned up and danced under umbrellas. Sweet.
I later came across an article on salsa holidays and classes mentioning that there was a shortage of willing fellas - get yourself forward, lad.
Initially something just to get out of the house and loosen off salsa became something else, something that I had to work at - it took six weeks just to learn to mambo. The feet just don't want to go in them places but it makes sense when you see how the moves unfold. The breakthrough came when some spanish people came to the class and their feet were all over the place - not like us mechanical english clompers and bobbers.
Then there was the flamenco weekend at West Yorkshire College of dance. Just me and some thirty ladies - woof! I must admit I did feel a bit of a pillock, especially when I caught sight of myself in the mirror being all graceful. No doubt the lads building outside in the cold on the cherrypicker must have had a laugh but this was saturday and it was no 'Y.M.C.A'.
It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. . . .
Go dancing!
Like many recently (I think it was Zoe Ball's hip movement on an ad that finally drew me in) I've become a bit of an addict of Strictly come dancing (1). I'm loving seeing fat yorkshire lad Goffy enjoying himself so much - most of 'em really. In fact as soon as he and the charming Lilia hit the floor I actually voted (being fairly merrie at the time I also voted for a couple of others but to make sure gave The Dazzler another. This is some going for someone who doesn't like the idea of charidee.)
For me the show is too audience focussed. I'd like to see the dancers dancing for no-one else but themselves. Methinx this is something that besets all these kind of shows - the crowd and judge pleasing that encourages a degree of superficiality lacking at club level. I get the impression that the celeb dancers seem constrained having to hold their heads at awkward angles - maybe I just lack finesse. It does seem to put them under added pressure.
And please - get closer! Anyone can be a three minute hero so to dance with someone for two like you are one shouldn't be too hard. And Zoe Ball ought to ease up on the cheese. (rearange book, leaf, ect (sic) Perhaps hubby could knock up a dance track? - naw . . . .
Talking of which, I was wondering who else they could have in the series - Keith from Prodigy? Roy Keane? Go on, break a leg. What about a flamenco face-off? Hmm.
And I do like Anton wotsisface.
Best quote of the show so far? Julian Clary: 'I'm sure he'll pull something out of the bag', which is a tad cheeky even by his standards. (Ok, and CJ's 'You filthy minx!')
(1)http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=strictly+come+dancing&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
*(Finishes off with 'ain't misbehavin' ' via 'On a little street in Singapore' - very nice.)
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Lost in music.
Muzak schmoozak - I love it and enjoy everything in it's place. Anything from classical music (granted mainly from adverts and incidental music but would go to one of them hamper and blanket on the ground events. Champagne? cheers. Schmoke? don't mind if I do, etc, . . . )
And back off on The Smiths (ya cnuts!) - anyone who can write such gems as -
'' . . If a ten ton truck* kills the both of us
to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die . . .
There is a light and it never goes out (etc)'' - gets my vote.
Morrisey writes some beautiful lyrics. I prefer them as irony and couldn't care less what he is on about overall. Meat is murder sucks (in a dark corner of my mind I have a remix c/w chainsaw, chickens** and whatever else I can pen. If anyone gets there before me then I'd like a cut.)
Viva Hate? - I'd buy that for a $1.
(Good at being miserable but you wouldn't want too much in one go. Go one on yourself you mourngy git and do 'happy talk')
How often have any of us been disappointed by an offering from a favoured artist? Often the words I've been singing for ages turn out to not be the same as those on the sleeve, and then some - ''You saw Sir Winker?''. Quite.
As a salsa dancer non. . . (etc) I enjoy many a track that I haven't the faintest clue what they are on about - Los bomberos, Dos gardenias por amor, Dos cervethas por favor - they could be singing about a bunch of fascist chicken-plucking nuns for all I care (hmm? - this remix may even have a video).
Simply read?
Some words are better left unspoken or perhaps best not committed to a blog. However, in a time-honoured tradition of dodgy footwork and in the spirit of defending the incomprehensible I'll put my hand up and admit to having enjoyed - (oh no!) Happy hardcore. To those who don't know this has got to be quite simply the daftest music about - not big or clever but then it doesn't pretend to be either.
Sped up music, lyrics about magic carpets, rainbows and other escapist bollocks abound all brought together by an enlivened m/c - full chat and rarely the voice of an angel but often uplifting.
Don't go there, no really, don't . . . . . oohhhh go on then. One really shouldn't make an arse of one's self but when in Rome (Milton Keynes, actually, and erm? . . Luton, Elephant and Castle, etc (some bons mots really are left private) make like a Roman. One meets quite a cross section of people - not just yer tabloid-typical wild-eyed raver.
Dressed up warm for the night and pleasantly conversational adult chaperones (one even reading her Mills and Boon!), muscle-bound squaddies out on RnR, an athlete who told me it was the best workout she ever gets, and, hand on heart christianly clean, naturally aspirated - respect.
Then of course there's the rest of england's finest - council house asbo-fodder, m/c bad boy racers and lots of oddly cute, pigtailed skippy young ladies. Any of the Birkenhead crew in? watch your stereo. A lonng time since I went - probably satnavs or, heaven forbid, the whole jalopy now. Snakes are often spotted a mile off. As are mugs and dodgy security guards. Methinx we all know who we are.
My good daughter's inauguration into a life less ordinary came when, I figured, if she was gonna go experiment in life's wonderfully rich bounty then I may as well make sure that I could assist her if things went tits up, as it were.
And we all fall down from time to time.
(Hands up anyone who hasn't publicly gaffed - Cherie Blair? pff! - ''When I get older . . '' - I rest my case. I'd maybe spin her in the middle of the floor but karaoke? naw (2). What about the lifestyles of the rich and famous ? Looking at them, can you really blame us? They know how to unwind from a day down at the factory - are You really telling me how to bring my kids up? (leaf, book . .) (3)
Back to the . .
We actually never thought we'd get in what with us being rave virgins 'n' all. But some very kind people helped us along the way - people I'll always remember. And as an opener - m/c Junior with Force and Styles belting out 'So glad you made it' as we walked in. ***
I'll be back . . coffee, fagbreak and Carmel's The Falling on the box (available at all good stores and in time for . . erm? whateveritscalled)
* It may have been a double decker bus (Routemaster even - catch 'em while you can http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAEBF.htm
** Bugger all to do with Bird flu!!
(2) http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=when+i+get+older+cherie+blair&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
(3)http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=euan+blair&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Straw_(politician)
***Actually, l made that bit up - it's what l sang to my brood after gaining entry.
(4)One off the cuff. I thought I talked bollocks but this guy can certainly big up the little issue http://www.pm.gov.uk/output/Page8123.asp
RnR ptII: press the eject . . .
Not really wanting to make any more of a song and dance of it (as there are other things to do) but amongst all the badinage there were some inspirational words -
'If I can do it; so can you'. Unknown m/c. It made me more determined to get out of a hole, of sorts.
That's enough of that - off to work.
And back off on The Smiths (ya cnuts!) - anyone who can write such gems as -
'' . . If a ten ton truck* kills the both of us
to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die . . .
There is a light and it never goes out (etc)'' - gets my vote.
Morrisey writes some beautiful lyrics. I prefer them as irony and couldn't care less what he is on about overall. Meat is murder sucks (in a dark corner of my mind I have a remix c/w chainsaw, chickens** and whatever else I can pen. If anyone gets there before me then I'd like a cut.)
Viva Hate? - I'd buy that for a $1.
(Good at being miserable but you wouldn't want too much in one go. Go one on yourself you mourngy git and do 'happy talk')
How often have any of us been disappointed by an offering from a favoured artist? Often the words I've been singing for ages turn out to not be the same as those on the sleeve, and then some - ''You saw Sir Winker?''. Quite.
As a salsa dancer non. . . (etc) I enjoy many a track that I haven't the faintest clue what they are on about - Los bomberos, Dos gardenias por amor, Dos cervethas por favor - they could be singing about a bunch of fascist chicken-plucking nuns for all I care (hmm? - this remix may even have a video).
Simply read?
Some words are better left unspoken or perhaps best not committed to a blog. However, in a time-honoured tradition of dodgy footwork and in the spirit of defending the incomprehensible I'll put my hand up and admit to having enjoyed - (oh no!) Happy hardcore. To those who don't know this has got to be quite simply the daftest music about - not big or clever but then it doesn't pretend to be either.
Sped up music, lyrics about magic carpets, rainbows and other escapist bollocks abound all brought together by an enlivened m/c - full chat and rarely the voice of an angel but often uplifting.
Don't go there, no really, don't . . . . . oohhhh go on then. One really shouldn't make an arse of one's self but when in Rome (Milton Keynes, actually, and erm? . . Luton, Elephant and Castle, etc (some bons mots really are left private) make like a Roman. One meets quite a cross section of people - not just yer tabloid-typical wild-eyed raver.
Dressed up warm for the night and pleasantly conversational adult chaperones (one even reading her Mills and Boon!), muscle-bound squaddies out on RnR, an athlete who told me it was the best workout she ever gets, and, hand on heart christianly clean, naturally aspirated - respect.
Then of course there's the rest of england's finest - council house asbo-fodder, m/c bad boy racers and lots of oddly cute, pigtailed skippy young ladies. Any of the Birkenhead crew in? watch your stereo. A lonng time since I went - probably satnavs or, heaven forbid, the whole jalopy now. Snakes are often spotted a mile off. As are mugs and dodgy security guards. Methinx we all know who we are.
My good daughter's inauguration into a life less ordinary came when, I figured, if she was gonna go experiment in life's wonderfully rich bounty then I may as well make sure that I could assist her if things went tits up, as it were.
And we all fall down from time to time.
(Hands up anyone who hasn't publicly gaffed - Cherie Blair? pff! - ''When I get older . . '' - I rest my case. I'd maybe spin her in the middle of the floor but karaoke? naw (2). What about the lifestyles of the rich and famous ? Looking at them, can you really blame us? They know how to unwind from a day down at the factory - are You really telling me how to bring my kids up? (leaf, book . .) (3)
Back to the . .
We actually never thought we'd get in what with us being rave virgins 'n' all. But some very kind people helped us along the way - people I'll always remember. And as an opener - m/c Junior with Force and Styles belting out 'So glad you made it' as we walked in. ***
I'll be back . . coffee, fagbreak and Carmel's The Falling on the box (available at all good stores and in time for . . erm? whateveritscalled)
* It may have been a double decker bus (Routemaster even - catch 'em while you can http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAEBF.htm
** Bugger all to do with Bird flu!!
(2) http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=when+i+get+older+cherie+blair&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
(3)http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=euan+blair&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Straw_(politician)
***Actually, l made that bit up - it's what l sang to my brood after gaining entry.
(4)One off the cuff. I thought I talked bollocks but this guy can certainly big up the little issue http://www.pm.gov.uk/output/Page8123.asp
RnR ptII: press the eject . . .
Not really wanting to make any more of a song and dance of it (as there are other things to do) but amongst all the badinage there were some inspirational words -
'If I can do it; so can you'. Unknown m/c. It made me more determined to get out of a hole, of sorts.
That's enough of that - off to work.
Fourth plinth.
As a piece of artwork Marc Quinn's sculpture of Alison Lapper certainly provokes interest and on many levels. (Some puns are intended, that however was not one. It's more the case that if everything is edited for pc reasons then the subject cannot be properly discussed.(1)
If you 'Google' Alison Lapper there are about 40,000 references (possibly 40,001 now). And you've got to hand it to her she's got herself first on the list (2).
Alison Lapper has been very much in the public eye recently, due mainly to her condition(3). To most of us mere mortals, nothing is known of her art other than her being art. Although, couldn't it be said that her suffering is her art? To be sure she is now feted and her opinions may resonate for a while, there may even be an interest in her work. But it is largely a self portrait. In that case, Quinn's sculpture is like a chapter in a biography. And perhaps appropriate enough for the turnaround that is the 4th plinth project. Will we get to see chapter two?
Quinn's Lapper seems to stand in stark contrast to Nelson's column, well actually it squats. Now, I'm not sure what art is supposed to do other than be provocative and Lapper is certainly that. Is she a hero? I'm sure that even in the fairest of fights Nelson could kick her head in* but then I've never seen his artwork.
Lapper's though, I have (a bit). I was going to make some joke about 'Venus de milo' but hey, she's there already. And that is likely the crux of the matter. One couldn't argue that in selective shots she sure looks purrdy - if'n you go for a gal's looks that is. And for some blokes she has got the bits that seem to count - someone has certainly proven a point.# And there are microwaves. Ironing could be the scene of a domestic though . . .
Perhaps Lapper issues a challenge of what we look for in another person. Are we superficial in our tastes to want someone else's idea of perfection? Lapper says 'I can do it as well as you' and she can - up to a point. James Heartfield's article on Lapper points out that her survival and progress comes with a great deal of assistance - Ms. Lapper would not have survived in the wilds and as a mutation is not one that would see the human race thrive in her form(4).
One could criticise yet Alison Lapper in spite of her condition does many things and can inspire others that are wont to seek therapy in one form or other. I'm heartened by the likes of Beth Hamilton (5) and others that over ride their condition. Many a restless night has me watching niche Tv and I'm stunned by the capabilities of disabled athletes - one-legged slalom skiers going full pelt and achieving commendable times, for instance. Mayhaps an unfair aerodynamic advantage? Don't think there'll be a queue for the operation though.
I also recall the tale of a young german tank commander in WW2; shot some 5 times, left for dead, patched up and eager to return to the front after 6 weeks. Stirring stuff even if you don't agree with his cause (6).
Quinn's Lapper is notable in that it is a sign of the times - it comes to the fore in a culture uncomfortable with its past glories and seeking comfort in frailty. It will be something to celebrate when medical science can achieve limb grafting and the like so that the disabled can function as near normal as possible 7).
If 'the statue' had been created by Alison Lapper herself it would've been more impressive but l don't think it belongs on the fourth plinth.
(1)http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/closeup/lapper.shtml
(2)http://www.alisonlapper.com/
(3)http://images.google.com/images?q=alison+lapper&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images
*NB. Although she does have some fighting prowess. Read on - http://books.guardian.co.uk/extracts/story/0,6761,1561045,00.html
(4)http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAD61.htm
(5)http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&rls=GGLR%2CGGLR%3A2005-51%2CGGLR%3Aen&q=+bethany+hamilton+&btnG=Search
(6)World at War series (?)
(7)Hooray!
(8)See also - http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAEEF.htm
§Out-take
'. . It reminds me of a schoolboy fantasy involving a rope, RE teacher and a table (I'd've let her have one arm free) . . . etc.'
Originally removed as figured was kind of gratuitous but reposted in light of Welsh quacks. See F*cking Welsh! (this blog, Feb 2006). Like it says - schoolboy fantasy and not deed.
Lapper. Round 2
The devil within had far worse lined up for Ms. Lapper - and a sneaky chance to indulge some other penchants. I couldn't help thinking that 'Alison Lapper 8 1/2 months pregnant' resembled a lump of plasticine capable of being moulded into anything. Seeing as how I've alluded to raping her, giving her a kicking and sewing some arms on her then I may as well crucify and resurrect her as well
Why? Is it fun to pick on the disabled? Up to a point maybe. Maybe in as much as no-one would rightly choose to be disabled and we laugh at such concerns so as to cope with them or even in recognition that the disabled are still people and we interact as normal as possible, albeit perhaps patronisingly.
Call it a version of Tourette's syndrome but I imagined nailing some arms on Alison Lapper in my own blood-dripping bastard artwork creation but thought better of continuing l'enfant terriblisme. However, with all the hoohar surrounding religious imagery, particularly amongst some members of our muslim brethren and also to make a not so subtle play on resurrection and notions of Divinity versus human ingenuity and medical science (and what with easter coming up) then I may as well.
Why the cheap shot at religion? After all a great many good people have connections with matters of faith and to rubbish their icons maybe hilarious or just nasty, maybe even tonic for the troops, but without a plainer distinction between The Divine and Humanity it remains a small part of the argument.
Others have said, the story of religion is essentially a human one.
As is Alison Lapper's.
Whether it is the military icon, religious representation, science-fiction architectural or other, 'art' should provoke or stimulate thought. Quinn, Lapper and the 4th plinth project challenge the militaristic associations with Trafalgar Square - a pregnant, disabled woman, giver of life Vs. Nelson, disabled warrior, etc (et al).
If Alison Lapper was the stopper of war or harbinger of peace forevermore then she may be considered heroic and worthy of claiming a place at Trafalgar (am begining to like the idea of Trafalgar Sq as a cultural battleground).
The reason why Alison Lapper has become elevated is manyfold but she can be because society has developed to the point where disability can be accommodated, cared for and patched up. However, Alison as Goddess of beauty and disability is a poor reflection of what society accepts regards notions of a common humanity.
Perhaps she asks to be loved (and 'the disabled' by association), that we see through her disability and beauty and get to know the person within; capable of being loved and loving but also a thinking, acting and creative being. That's fine - that's the human part but elevating disability is to accept being part human.
Anyone can get cut by steel, paper or even grass but it's nice to know that we can generally patch ourselves up or have access to people and things that can. Likewise, if injured at work, in a crash, playing sport, etc we should feel safe in the knowledge that medical practice and science has developed to the point of being able to fix most injury. Of course, if better resourced and if that was the focus rather than overmanagement and too many a lightweight scheme.
There's a bitter irony revealed in Generation Kill where a Doctor/Soldier is torn between continuing his patriotic duties and tending to an injured Iraqi. He cites that if the man's injuries are attended to he can be saved, albeit with some lasting damage. Yet still an increase in survivability from earlier times.
The moral being that even in situations designed for death, destruction and serious injury medical technique, prowess and capabilty follow close behind.
' . . l'm only dancing'
I chanced upon a dance program called DV8 in which a guy with no legs, Dave l believe he's called, peers through the window of a ballet studio (this after mischief in a wheelchair at a bus stop which sets the tone). Mischievious and mis-shapen you wonder what he's up to as he watches the graceful ballerinas. Himself perhaps an object of ridicule or even repellance - an opposite of the dancers. He enters the studio and shuffles through the rising and falling legs of the ladies at the bar, approaches a seated ballerina whom he links up with to dance/roll about with - a work of some elegance.
The next scene is Dave astride his mate's back; his mate walking on all fours with arms and legs straight yet done in such a way that it is hard to determine which torso the legs belong to or if they are all as one.
Perhaps this raises further questions as to acceptance of what is, Dave and co 'wishing' he had legs or a play on homo-eroticism and love of one's fellow man as brother and reflection of self - room on my horse for two, he ain't heavy . . or putting yourself in his shoes and vice versa.
I wouldn't like to patronise Alison Lapper by suggesting she would be a better person if only she had arms, nor Dave some legs, merely to state that the alleviation of all illness as much as possible is more desirable than accomodating to it.
Round Three: Militant dwarf and pretty lady spend all day pestering shoppers. 19th. March'06.
Don't know what it was the other night but basically a programme about disability and how society accomodates it.
A section of the show was about people parking in disabled spots at supermarkets and featured a small man in matrix garb and a lady with a walking stick. The lady was quite pretty, which may not be significant (the man l couldn't really say). Basically, they proceeded to hassle people (predominantly asian - again, maybe not significant) who for whatever reason were taking the piss out of the disabled by ignoring their existence and nicking their carparking spots.
Oh, you bad people (coming over here and) nicking our carparking spots . . . There is a seperate, if not related issue of supermarket, and other, carparking design and one that effects everybody. Carparking for 'normal' people leaves a lot to be desired. Often cramped and just as awkward for the old and perhaps not so firm, those with children, large people, lots of shopping and even those on foot. My bad self has parked in the bay. Excuse? none, other than believing that the disabled should be treat no better or worse than any body else. Whether it's one of those things that have changed over time or not but it's recalled that many a time at busy hypermarkets, etc., these spaces have been empty and wasted. All the while us able bodied types have to weave our way with our laden and lopsided trolley on ramped causeway through everyone else's pride and joy.
Haven't people got better things to do? This is an example of petty and selfish single issue 'activism' of the worst kind. It pulls on the heartstrings; who does want to see the differently abled abused and ignored? The better part of the show was 'Dave' (aka MD - sorry, don't know the names) interviewing 'Steve' - 25 years old, cerebral palsy, wheelchair bound, etc., and profoundly differently abled. Steve seemed to be something of a whizz on computers and wanted to work, contribute and attain a measure of independence but all too often got the knock back. The person without 'won' and Steve lost.
It's a tough world out there . . . and not just for the differently abled. Society does have a poor record in care for the infirm in many situations but also a substantial care sector running right the way through from the family and voluntary sector to hospital, lowest to highest wages and so on.
By percentage disability seems to have quite some say, albeit and like most things not one of open and honest discussion.
Round 4
Now playing - (My Baby Does) Good Sculptures - Rezillos . . .
If you 'Google' Alison Lapper there are about 40,000 references (possibly 40,001 now). And you've got to hand it to her she's got herself first on the list (2).
Alison Lapper has been very much in the public eye recently, due mainly to her condition(3). To most of us mere mortals, nothing is known of her art other than her being art. Although, couldn't it be said that her suffering is her art? To be sure she is now feted and her opinions may resonate for a while, there may even be an interest in her work. But it is largely a self portrait. In that case, Quinn's sculpture is like a chapter in a biography. And perhaps appropriate enough for the turnaround that is the 4th plinth project. Will we get to see chapter two?
Quinn's Lapper seems to stand in stark contrast to Nelson's column, well actually it squats. Now, I'm not sure what art is supposed to do other than be provocative and Lapper is certainly that. Is she a hero? I'm sure that even in the fairest of fights Nelson could kick her head in* but then I've never seen his artwork.
Lapper's though, I have (a bit). I was going to make some joke about 'Venus de milo' but hey, she's there already. And that is likely the crux of the matter. One couldn't argue that in selective shots she sure looks purrdy - if'n you go for a gal's looks that is. And for some blokes she has got the bits that seem to count - someone has certainly proven a point.# And there are microwaves. Ironing could be the scene of a domestic though . . .
Perhaps Lapper issues a challenge of what we look for in another person. Are we superficial in our tastes to want someone else's idea of perfection? Lapper says 'I can do it as well as you' and she can - up to a point. James Heartfield's article on Lapper points out that her survival and progress comes with a great deal of assistance - Ms. Lapper would not have survived in the wilds and as a mutation is not one that would see the human race thrive in her form(4).
One could criticise yet Alison Lapper in spite of her condition does many things and can inspire others that are wont to seek therapy in one form or other. I'm heartened by the likes of Beth Hamilton (5) and others that over ride their condition. Many a restless night has me watching niche Tv and I'm stunned by the capabilities of disabled athletes - one-legged slalom skiers going full pelt and achieving commendable times, for instance. Mayhaps an unfair aerodynamic advantage? Don't think there'll be a queue for the operation though.
I also recall the tale of a young german tank commander in WW2; shot some 5 times, left for dead, patched up and eager to return to the front after 6 weeks. Stirring stuff even if you don't agree with his cause (6).
Quinn's Lapper is notable in that it is a sign of the times - it comes to the fore in a culture uncomfortable with its past glories and seeking comfort in frailty. It will be something to celebrate when medical science can achieve limb grafting and the like so that the disabled can function as near normal as possible 7).
If 'the statue' had been created by Alison Lapper herself it would've been more impressive but l don't think it belongs on the fourth plinth.
(1)http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/closeup/lapper.shtml
(2)http://www.alisonlapper.com/
(3)http://images.google.com/images?q=alison+lapper&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images
*NB. Although she does have some fighting prowess. Read on - http://books.guardian.co.uk/extracts/story/0,6761,1561045,00.html
(4)http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAD61.htm
(5)http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=&rls=GGLR%2CGGLR%3A2005-51%2CGGLR%3Aen&q=+bethany+hamilton+&btnG=Search
(6)World at War series (?)
(7)Hooray!
(8)See also - http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAEEF.htm
§Out-take
'. . It reminds me of a schoolboy fantasy involving a rope, RE teacher and a table (I'd've let her have one arm free) . . . etc.'
Originally removed as figured was kind of gratuitous but reposted in light of Welsh quacks. See F*cking Welsh! (this blog, Feb 2006). Like it says - schoolboy fantasy and not deed.
Lapper. Round 2
The devil within had far worse lined up for Ms. Lapper - and a sneaky chance to indulge some other penchants. I couldn't help thinking that 'Alison Lapper 8 1/2 months pregnant' resembled a lump of plasticine capable of being moulded into anything. Seeing as how I've alluded to raping her, giving her a kicking and sewing some arms on her then I may as well crucify and resurrect her as well
Why? Is it fun to pick on the disabled? Up to a point maybe. Maybe in as much as no-one would rightly choose to be disabled and we laugh at such concerns so as to cope with them or even in recognition that the disabled are still people and we interact as normal as possible, albeit perhaps patronisingly.
Call it a version of Tourette's syndrome but I imagined nailing some arms on Alison Lapper in my own blood-dripping bastard artwork creation but thought better of continuing l'enfant terriblisme. However, with all the hoohar surrounding religious imagery, particularly amongst some members of our muslim brethren and also to make a not so subtle play on resurrection and notions of Divinity versus human ingenuity and medical science (and what with easter coming up) then I may as well.
Why the cheap shot at religion? After all a great many good people have connections with matters of faith and to rubbish their icons maybe hilarious or just nasty, maybe even tonic for the troops, but without a plainer distinction between The Divine and Humanity it remains a small part of the argument.
Others have said, the story of religion is essentially a human one.
As is Alison Lapper's.
Whether it is the military icon, religious representation, science-fiction architectural or other, 'art' should provoke or stimulate thought. Quinn, Lapper and the 4th plinth project challenge the militaristic associations with Trafalgar Square - a pregnant, disabled woman, giver of life Vs. Nelson, disabled warrior, etc (et al).
If Alison Lapper was the stopper of war or harbinger of peace forevermore then she may be considered heroic and worthy of claiming a place at Trafalgar (am begining to like the idea of Trafalgar Sq as a cultural battleground).
The reason why Alison Lapper has become elevated is manyfold but she can be because society has developed to the point where disability can be accommodated, cared for and patched up. However, Alison as Goddess of beauty and disability is a poor reflection of what society accepts regards notions of a common humanity.
Perhaps she asks to be loved (and 'the disabled' by association), that we see through her disability and beauty and get to know the person within; capable of being loved and loving but also a thinking, acting and creative being. That's fine - that's the human part but elevating disability is to accept being part human.
Anyone can get cut by steel, paper or even grass but it's nice to know that we can generally patch ourselves up or have access to people and things that can. Likewise, if injured at work, in a crash, playing sport, etc we should feel safe in the knowledge that medical practice and science has developed to the point of being able to fix most injury. Of course, if better resourced and if that was the focus rather than overmanagement and too many a lightweight scheme.
There's a bitter irony revealed in Generation Kill where a Doctor/Soldier is torn between continuing his patriotic duties and tending to an injured Iraqi. He cites that if the man's injuries are attended to he can be saved, albeit with some lasting damage. Yet still an increase in survivability from earlier times.
The moral being that even in situations designed for death, destruction and serious injury medical technique, prowess and capabilty follow close behind.
' . . l'm only dancing'
I chanced upon a dance program called DV8 in which a guy with no legs, Dave l believe he's called, peers through the window of a ballet studio (this after mischief in a wheelchair at a bus stop which sets the tone). Mischievious and mis-shapen you wonder what he's up to as he watches the graceful ballerinas. Himself perhaps an object of ridicule or even repellance - an opposite of the dancers. He enters the studio and shuffles through the rising and falling legs of the ladies at the bar, approaches a seated ballerina whom he links up with to dance/roll about with - a work of some elegance.
The next scene is Dave astride his mate's back; his mate walking on all fours with arms and legs straight yet done in such a way that it is hard to determine which torso the legs belong to or if they are all as one.
Perhaps this raises further questions as to acceptance of what is, Dave and co 'wishing' he had legs or a play on homo-eroticism and love of one's fellow man as brother and reflection of self - room on my horse for two, he ain't heavy . . or putting yourself in his shoes and vice versa.
I wouldn't like to patronise Alison Lapper by suggesting she would be a better person if only she had arms, nor Dave some legs, merely to state that the alleviation of all illness as much as possible is more desirable than accomodating to it.
Round Three: Militant dwarf and pretty lady spend all day pestering shoppers. 19th. March'06.
Don't know what it was the other night but basically a programme about disability and how society accomodates it.
A section of the show was about people parking in disabled spots at supermarkets and featured a small man in matrix garb and a lady with a walking stick. The lady was quite pretty, which may not be significant (the man l couldn't really say). Basically, they proceeded to hassle people (predominantly asian - again, maybe not significant) who for whatever reason were taking the piss out of the disabled by ignoring their existence and nicking their carparking spots.
Oh, you bad people (coming over here and) nicking our carparking spots . . . There is a seperate, if not related issue of supermarket, and other, carparking design and one that effects everybody. Carparking for 'normal' people leaves a lot to be desired. Often cramped and just as awkward for the old and perhaps not so firm, those with children, large people, lots of shopping and even those on foot. My bad self has parked in the bay. Excuse? none, other than believing that the disabled should be treat no better or worse than any body else. Whether it's one of those things that have changed over time or not but it's recalled that many a time at busy hypermarkets, etc., these spaces have been empty and wasted. All the while us able bodied types have to weave our way with our laden and lopsided trolley on ramped causeway through everyone else's pride and joy.
Haven't people got better things to do? This is an example of petty and selfish single issue 'activism' of the worst kind. It pulls on the heartstrings; who does want to see the differently abled abused and ignored? The better part of the show was 'Dave' (aka MD - sorry, don't know the names) interviewing 'Steve' - 25 years old, cerebral palsy, wheelchair bound, etc., and profoundly differently abled. Steve seemed to be something of a whizz on computers and wanted to work, contribute and attain a measure of independence but all too often got the knock back. The person without 'won' and Steve lost.
It's a tough world out there . . . and not just for the differently abled. Society does have a poor record in care for the infirm in many situations but also a substantial care sector running right the way through from the family and voluntary sector to hospital, lowest to highest wages and so on.
By percentage disability seems to have quite some say, albeit and like most things not one of open and honest discussion.
Round 4
Now playing - (My Baby Does) Good Sculptures - Rezillos . . .
Sunday, September 11, 2005
b b b b b but(t) . . . .
There was a scotsman, englishman and another scotsman who got caught out on the land of the DefraMyarsi. High prince Usurpa Miliband was furious that they had footprinted on his sacred 'land fit for heroes' (!?!) and sent them out to get him 5 samples of fruit whilst he thought of their punishment.
First back was canny scot, Gordon; he'd been frugal in his efforts and brought back 5 juniper berries.
Miliband told him he had to shove 5 of these up his ass everyday. Gordon, sweaty, shaken but a little relieved, mopped his brow and realised he could manage that.
Next to return was earnest Ed; he'd brought a handsome peach, a bunch of small but nice looking bananas and three different bunches of grapes. When Miliband told him to shove these, 5 a day, where the sun don't shine his face dropped (but he figured his missus could give a hand packing 'em in . . . ).
He wearily joined Gordon to discuss their fates.
Enterprising Tony returned much later, for he had scoured far and wide. Gordon almost suppressed a wry chuckle when he saw that he had brought with him a pineapple, prickly pear . . . the NHS IT programme and (insert whatever applicable) and (make your own assumptions) for he was vainglorious and sought to impress with the legacy of the fruits of his Labour (still, he could wipe up using the justifications for his wars in Iraq . . )
etc, etc, etc
New Labour - they won't like it up 'em/blow 'em out ya ass/this town needs an enema.
. . . . etc. X
First back was canny scot, Gordon; he'd been frugal in his efforts and brought back 5 juniper berries.
Miliband told him he had to shove 5 of these up his ass everyday. Gordon, sweaty, shaken but a little relieved, mopped his brow and realised he could manage that.
Next to return was earnest Ed; he'd brought a handsome peach, a bunch of small but nice looking bananas and three different bunches of grapes. When Miliband told him to shove these, 5 a day, where the sun don't shine his face dropped (but he figured his missus could give a hand packing 'em in . . . ).
He wearily joined Gordon to discuss their fates.
Enterprising Tony returned much later, for he had scoured far and wide. Gordon almost suppressed a wry chuckle when he saw that he had brought with him a pineapple, prickly pear . . . the NHS IT programme and (insert whatever applicable) and (make your own assumptions) for he was vainglorious and sought to impress with the legacy of the fruits of his Labour (still, he could wipe up using the justifications for his wars in Iraq . . )
etc, etc, etc
New Labour - they won't like it up 'em/blow 'em out ya ass/this town needs an enema.
. . . . etc. X
Friday, September 02, 2005
(Some thoughts on sex, dancing, porn and ladies.)
Sex is everywhere. At a basic level it exists as the animal within us all - men and ladies. My good self - as a red-blooded male cannot help but be enchanted by the ladies.As an occasional salsa dancer non extraordinaire one can and does get away with murder on the dancefloor.
With odds ranging anything from 5 ladies to one gent (ha ha) and up then every joe average prepared to have a good time can be almost John Travolta.
Formula is -
* tidy up fellas but don't worry too much as you'll never get out of the house. Put your best food forward and relax.
* dress as you see fit. Chances are if you're gonna have a go then you'll loosen up. Relax.
* Lynx if you're that kind of guy (1)
* couple of stiff shandies
* wallet, fags, chewing gum, charm.
* Go.
If you're out of practice then it's best to loosen up with a) a stiff drink, b) say hello to people you vaguely remember and c) the warm up lesson.
And fellas, get in close - too many dance at arm's length as if we might catch something. Sheesh! it's supposed to be an 'intimate' dance and yes, it's a contact sport but it's not marriage. Relax! Listen to the music and don't go mad with your feet - best take short steps. If you watch freestyle then the feet are all over the place, some shake, gyrate, pause and body pop. Attitude and rhythm are king - hey nonny no it ain't.
One of my favourite tricks is to hit the floor spinning but usually sending my partner on doing erm? . . . a man's turn, grab her as if she is taking the lead, chuck in a couple of cross body leads from the wrong side and then let go into some freestyle messing about just to let them know what they're dealing with.
In salsa (meaning sauce/spice it up ie. not pasta) as in most types of dancing the male role is the lead. For the new starter this can be quite daunting keeping time, opening the moves, keeping it interesting and enjoying yourself all at the same time and this often with a partner who knows more than you.
Us Englishmen don't like to do poofy stuff like dancing so since the GIs left the sisters pretty much have to do it for themselves. They can anyway. One woman in a class completely led a routine from her 'secondary' position unbeknownst to her and I didn't have a clue. Ginger Rogers said words to the effect of doing everything he (Fred Astaire) does backwards and in high heels (2).
Unfortunately some women insist on being led so really one ought to learn some basic moves. However, there being more of them than us then they get what they're given. If you get one that carries on a bit then give her a slap . . . no, that's something else. If it doesn't work then fair enough she can always dance with her mates.
Dancing is best learnt face to face. A book can be handy for back up but is unneccesary in the long run. Although reading the background to the Argentine Tango you find there was a surfeit of men particularly in and around Buenos Aires and that they had to dance with each other. Excuse me? Blokes dancing with blokes? You're having a laugh, mate. (3)
Not so in the UK, well not up north anyway. Thankfully we can all talk about football and other manly things instead. A night out in The 'merrie citie' of Wakefield (pre and post 'let's get tough on drinkers' campaign) often resembles something of a cattle market or zoo. There's a lot of mingling and gazing, whatever but often it's groups of lads ogling the ladies and progressively viewing the night through beer glasses.
There's more to it than that of course; it depends on who you are and what you go for.
'Pretty women out walking with gorillas . . .'
At a salsa class or event us average Joe's get to dance with ladies of all shapes, sizes, ages, colour, nationality, class and intellect. It can be overwhelming in amongst all those ladies wanting to dance with a limited supply of partners and you can find yourself 'hot property'. You don't realise it but an arrogance can develop - subtle or otherwise, maybe an element of charm. Who knows, you might even start to scrub up.
Over time though you may get to see the ladies in a different light. You may find a partner if that's what you want but you can also get a finer appreciation of women on one level (not compulsory).
The man to woman ratio can lead to the man getting a puffed up sense of his own importance - something of a prima donna outlook. Although the moment when you think you're the greatest dancer is usually that before your biggest cock-up.
However, you can always wing it. My favourite music is uptempo, loose, brassy latin as it is very forgiving with mistakes. One partner went flying over one of my two left feet only for me to catch her, swing her around 180 degrees and carry on dancing. She thought it was amazing. (I do it all the time, love.)
It would be nice though to do it properly.
Ken can. Women that dance with Ken, a big fella, talk as though they have been on a white knuckle ride and more - some say that their feet hardly touch the ground. He is confident, strong and more to the point has got excellent timing and can dance. And I hate him.
(1)http://www.unilever.co.uk/ourbrands/personalcare/lynx.asp
(2)http://www.reelclassics.com/Teams/Fred&Ginger/fred&ginger.htm
(3)http://totango.net/sergio.html
Porn.
What red-blooded male doesn't appreciate the female form? (Intellect is a different attraction. Here we are talking about 'basic instincts').
Porn is readily available in any format, shape or size. Apart from the nether regions of the market the vast majority of porn is dominated by the female form and aimed at men.
Everyday titillation is provided by the red tops. The Daily Star and Daily Sport (UK newspapers) are often low core porn mags and one doesn't mind admitting to having one's interest aroused but after 3 or 4 pages of the stuff it becomes pretty ordinary. It may make the day go around for some but it seems to be an escape in itself or a delusion.
Surely after the umpteenth spread, awkwardly reclining torso or hands through the hair doesn't it wear a bit thin?
The market may be saturated but that hasn't stopped the weird and wonderful from springing up. Every angle is catered for - squirters, milfs, barely 16, Big and Busty, old swingers and all manner either side and on top of them and no doubt very interesting too.
Sex sells and for anything from £3 - 4 and up it's not too hard to see that your right hand's for dipping into your pocket and shelling out.
Perhaps we would all like the 'perfect' figure or like to at least come across well. Leaving aside the fetish ends of the market then the bulk loosely centres around your 34-24-34 model or thereabouts. Although this zone has been augmented to accentuate the allure of the female form.
The character Jessica in 'Who framed Roger Rabbit?' epitomises the caricature - botoxed lips, curvy thighs, large breasts and soft purr voice - enough to make the sanest rabbit slobber.
With cosmetic surgery, gymnasiums and diet plus make up, accessories and media techniques even the quite plain can become Jessica Rabbit. Hence Katie Price becomes uberbabe Jordan.
Flesh, curves and lots of it.
Many a male would like to wallow in the stuff. So much that an attack of the 50 foot woman could be appealing - bedding down in sumptious marshmallow woman. Mmmmmm . . .
Although the last time any man found himself anywhere close to a woman of those proportions it will have been at birth.
Run away!
See also -
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5087&en=4c0bd9b9392f83a7&ex=1152421200&nl=ep&emc=ep
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic - arse?
There is a considerable amount of discussion over the use of language - written, spoken and in a wider context. An article in the New Scotsman exposes an appalling lack of standards in the educational sphere(1). Professor Frank Furedi argues much the same in his book 'Where have all the intellectuals gone ?', lamenting the lack of indepth, intellectual inquiry and lack of discipline(2). When I go to amazon to see a book of interest I'm frequently surprised that there are no customer reviews. All testimony to the fact that we are not paying perhaps as much attention as we should. Yet we supposedly have more free time than ever before. So what's amiss?
Some say we move too fast. Texting and computers have been said to have undermined correct english - gr8, lol, ect, etc . Maybe, but the kids can multitask like no other and hold adult conversations when it suits. Ok, so the writing isn't always spot on but then they could become Doctors.
Back2Basics? The three 'r's give it away from the start - who's fooling who?
I wouldn't profess to know the ins and outs of the discussion - that's best left to the experts. An embarassing moment was when talking to a workmate, I strung a sentence together and for some reason ended up banging in loads of 'big' words (many of them in context). Lordy, am I clever! The reply? - 'I don't know what you're saying, but I know what you mean'. Shoot me down in flames. Anyway, that was a long time ago and we were very drunk at the time.
When in the sixth form rumour had it that one of our english Tutors had written a forty page essay on The letter a. I tried to fathom this out - its uses in singular form, colloquialism, dialect and influence in words and sound - a cat sat on a mat, open wide, say 'aaaahh'? 40 pages? go on, Sir!, but not for me. As much as I'd like to read the good man's work there is way too much to absorb already.
Every locale seems to have it's paper or papers, the papershops are stuffed full of magazines showing stuff that we may get to do fleetingly, selling dreams or just talking shite, everywhere sells books and yesteryear's news was the day after's underlay - all very fascinating and enough choice for everyone. Plus internet, blog, junkmail and all that stuff from various councils. Let alone rereading old 'favourites' or books not understood first time around.
The spoken and written word (those for others or to be viewed again L8r) - the presented word? - can do many things and some that the presenter is unaware of at the time. One can either strike lucky - a case of a positive direction and all the lights are green. And then sometimes one overcooks it and suffers a proverbial egg.
One that thankfully went astray from yours truly was an early attempt at a critique of a spirited club singer. Many things about the evening acted on what I felt at the time and the resulting review turned out to be a thinly veiled missive to an ex- missus. Thankfully that one's 'buried' now but one really must be careful.
What of Eminem? the staccato rap attack of in-yer-face provocation. He is whatever you say he is and if you call him he will chew it up and spit it back at you. And make a few bucks at the same time.
Sometimes you don't need words. A patient in a psychiatric unit once introduced me to the lulting* rhythm of Mendelssohn and Fingal's cave. I could feel what he meant.
Then of course there's politicians, comedians and word association football. Not to mention spoonerism - half heard words that you thought you heard but weren't sure.
Messing about with language extends the use of words and their meanings. A deft choice of word or subtle omission can carry deeper resonance than at first understood or the orator's take can be the result of chinese whispers. A colleague once complained that he could shit in the eye of an eagle. I was impressed.
Anglo-saxon verbiage is said to have been particularly coarse. Retrospective actions by the Victorians to clean up the language resulted in many name and language changes including the whitearse to the wheatear (2).
Call me a philistine but with so much to choose from it's difficult to pick the 'right' book(s) - and I don't mean those to be seen reading - the work that inspires, educates or encourages one to think afresh. Harder to read and absorb than your average novel, autobiography or eyewitness account these require quality attention, note taking and discussion - worth the effort.
Unfortunately, for those of us that would like to see the world a better place, there is no shortcut. My own stumbling forays into the world of politics have been hampered by this. Sure, an individual can offer insights or play a bit part but winning arguments requires study and the development of intellectual stamina.
Must try harder.
(1) http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1959942005
(2)http://www.birdsofbritain.co.uk/features/bird-names.htm
* Quite possibly should be 'lilting' but can't bring myself to change it. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=lilting m/e root 'lulten'.
Some say we move too fast. Texting and computers have been said to have undermined correct english - gr8, lol, ect, etc . Maybe, but the kids can multitask like no other and hold adult conversations when it suits. Ok, so the writing isn't always spot on but then they could become Doctors.
Back2Basics? The three 'r's give it away from the start - who's fooling who?
I wouldn't profess to know the ins and outs of the discussion - that's best left to the experts. An embarassing moment was when talking to a workmate, I strung a sentence together and for some reason ended up banging in loads of 'big' words (many of them in context). Lordy, am I clever! The reply? - 'I don't know what you're saying, but I know what you mean'. Shoot me down in flames. Anyway, that was a long time ago and we were very drunk at the time.
When in the sixth form rumour had it that one of our english Tutors had written a forty page essay on The letter a. I tried to fathom this out - its uses in singular form, colloquialism, dialect and influence in words and sound - a cat sat on a mat, open wide, say 'aaaahh'? 40 pages? go on, Sir!, but not for me. As much as I'd like to read the good man's work there is way too much to absorb already.
Every locale seems to have it's paper or papers, the papershops are stuffed full of magazines showing stuff that we may get to do fleetingly, selling dreams or just talking shite, everywhere sells books and yesteryear's news was the day after's underlay - all very fascinating and enough choice for everyone. Plus internet, blog, junkmail and all that stuff from various councils. Let alone rereading old 'favourites' or books not understood first time around.
The spoken and written word (those for others or to be viewed again L8r) - the presented word? - can do many things and some that the presenter is unaware of at the time. One can either strike lucky - a case of a positive direction and all the lights are green. And then sometimes one overcooks it and suffers a proverbial egg.
One that thankfully went astray from yours truly was an early attempt at a critique of a spirited club singer. Many things about the evening acted on what I felt at the time and the resulting review turned out to be a thinly veiled missive to an ex- missus. Thankfully that one's 'buried' now but one really must be careful.
What of Eminem? the staccato rap attack of in-yer-face provocation. He is whatever you say he is and if you call him he will chew it up and spit it back at you. And make a few bucks at the same time.
Sometimes you don't need words. A patient in a psychiatric unit once introduced me to the lulting* rhythm of Mendelssohn and Fingal's cave. I could feel what he meant.
Then of course there's politicians, comedians and word association football. Not to mention spoonerism - half heard words that you thought you heard but weren't sure.
Messing about with language extends the use of words and their meanings. A deft choice of word or subtle omission can carry deeper resonance than at first understood or the orator's take can be the result of chinese whispers. A colleague once complained that he could shit in the eye of an eagle. I was impressed.
Anglo-saxon verbiage is said to have been particularly coarse. Retrospective actions by the Victorians to clean up the language resulted in many name and language changes including the whitearse to the wheatear (2).
Call me a philistine but with so much to choose from it's difficult to pick the 'right' book(s) - and I don't mean those to be seen reading - the work that inspires, educates or encourages one to think afresh. Harder to read and absorb than your average novel, autobiography or eyewitness account these require quality attention, note taking and discussion - worth the effort.
Unfortunately, for those of us that would like to see the world a better place, there is no shortcut. My own stumbling forays into the world of politics have been hampered by this. Sure, an individual can offer insights or play a bit part but winning arguments requires study and the development of intellectual stamina.
Must try harder.
(1) http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1959942005
(2)http://www.birdsofbritain.co.uk/features/bird-names.htm
* Quite possibly should be 'lilting' but can't bring myself to change it. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=lilting m/e root 'lulten'.
Monday, August 29, 2005
The end of the world is nigh?
'We're all gonna die' - txt msg from 'Pinky'.
Our hedonistic plunge into all things Sodom and Gomorrah is apparently upsetting more than your average priest/mullah/rabbi (delete where applicable (Spoilt for choice really). Doom laden predictions of the future come from all quarters. Not so subtle Tv programmes, books magazines and articles abound on 'healthy living' and how cool it would be to 'save' the planet.
For those spared a creationist or unchanging view of the world it ought to come as no surprise that it is in plain organic fact constantly changing (1). From Tsunamis, volcanoes, 'freak' weather and everything inbetween the earth gets a battering and is constantly on the move. Mother nature is somewhat schizophrenic and we should get used to it.
It's not all bad. There are two good things to come out of the doom laden whingeing of eco warriors. One being an acceptance that the earth is changing, at whatever pace, and therefore we really shouldn't view our lives as static, although significant changes are unlikely to occur over an individual's lifetime (unless with human agency). And, two, the paucity of ideas from the let's panic brigade - limited at best and nigh on fatalistic otherwise. Definitely not an aspirational vision.
What if the climate heats up and the seas rise? (I think that's still the latest prediction.) Do we suddenly forget how to cope with living under different conditions? After all, human beings survive in more habitats than any other species being able to adapt the environment to suit. Isn't it also the case that a warmer or more varied climate encourages and supports more species? (2)
What if . . we didn't bury our heads in the sand and made a pre-emptive strike (albeit by a few millenia)? The oceans are vastly unexplored for starters and developing craft and structures for their study may shed great light for our future descendents should their world shrink but also be of benefit should we take the leap into space. There are possibilities for living by, in or underwater (3).
What of vast civil engineering works? - irrigating wilderness, carving vast inlets into continents, desalination plants? (4) Surely that would leave the world in a better state for future generations. Although I'm not so sure that is what our noble leaders mean when they use such phrases.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/climatechange/story/0,12374,782628,00.html
http://www.policynetwork.net/uploaded/pdf/IPN_impacts_report_embargoed.pdf
(1)http://www.scotese.com/earth.htm
http://images.google.com/images?q=rising+sea+levels&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images
(2)http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/mid_/4176182.stm
(3)http://www.conway.com/ssinsider/snapshot/sf030915.htm
http://www.poseidonresorts.com/virtualtour.html
(4)http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/1999/china.50/asian.superpower/three.gorges/
http://www.hitachizosen.co.jp/english/solution/en_solu5-e.html
Our hedonistic plunge into all things Sodom and Gomorrah is apparently upsetting more than your average priest/mullah/rabbi (delete where applicable (Spoilt for choice really). Doom laden predictions of the future come from all quarters. Not so subtle Tv programmes, books magazines and articles abound on 'healthy living' and how cool it would be to 'save' the planet.
For those spared a creationist or unchanging view of the world it ought to come as no surprise that it is in plain organic fact constantly changing (1). From Tsunamis, volcanoes, 'freak' weather and everything inbetween the earth gets a battering and is constantly on the move. Mother nature is somewhat schizophrenic and we should get used to it.
It's not all bad. There are two good things to come out of the doom laden whingeing of eco warriors. One being an acceptance that the earth is changing, at whatever pace, and therefore we really shouldn't view our lives as static, although significant changes are unlikely to occur over an individual's lifetime (unless with human agency). And, two, the paucity of ideas from the let's panic brigade - limited at best and nigh on fatalistic otherwise. Definitely not an aspirational vision.
What if the climate heats up and the seas rise? (I think that's still the latest prediction.) Do we suddenly forget how to cope with living under different conditions? After all, human beings survive in more habitats than any other species being able to adapt the environment to suit. Isn't it also the case that a warmer or more varied climate encourages and supports more species? (2)
What if . . we didn't bury our heads in the sand and made a pre-emptive strike (albeit by a few millenia)? The oceans are vastly unexplored for starters and developing craft and structures for their study may shed great light for our future descendents should their world shrink but also be of benefit should we take the leap into space. There are possibilities for living by, in or underwater (3).
What of vast civil engineering works? - irrigating wilderness, carving vast inlets into continents, desalination plants? (4) Surely that would leave the world in a better state for future generations. Although I'm not so sure that is what our noble leaders mean when they use such phrases.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/climatechange/story/0,12374,782628,00.html
http://www.policynetwork.net/uploaded/pdf/IPN_impacts_report_embargoed.pdf
(1)http://www.scotese.com/earth.htm
http://images.google.com/images?q=rising+sea+levels&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images
(2)http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/mid_/4176182.stm
(3)http://www.conway.com/ssinsider/snapshot/sf030915.htm
http://www.poseidonresorts.com/virtualtour.html
(4)http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/1999/china.50/asian.superpower/three.gorges/
http://www.hitachizosen.co.jp/english/solution/en_solu5-e.html
The plot thickens?
Was the moon landing a hoax? Did Diana suffer at the hands of hired men? Are referees bent? (or just occasionally crap) ls Shabaz for real? etc., etc., ad infinitum.
Any tale is open to interpretation and tellers well always put their bent or be subject to 'unknown unknowns'. We see plots where there aren't any, patch up loose ends to get a beginning and so on. Indeed many a quirky fact or interesting lead is turned up but it would seem that once you go down that route things become evermore outlandish (1).
Scour the net and there's loads of this stuff, enough to make you believe that not much 'out there' is, erm, believable.
However, once you start picking through them their incoherence becomes apparent.
9/11 for instance - planes guided from the ground, mock-up at the Pentagon, explosives in the Towers, brainwashed dupes, etc. Enough and more to make Tolkein look like an amateur and not bad going for people that supposedly can't organise proverbials in a brewery.
There can be reason to believe that an unfair hand has been involved. The moon landings occured at a time when The US wanted to be the undisputed champions in space and given the uses of fabricated evidence it could have been a Hollywood set. Like the cow, though, get over it - we've been to the moon.
Diana was certainly an embarassment to the status quo and the accident was fortunate for those that uphold the sanctity, if not the sanity (2), of the monarchy. (I'd actually let Charles off talking to plants after all the earbashing my pc gets). However, Diana was merely a chapter in an unravelling saga.
Although you wouldn't put it past them.
Most of us accept that Elvis is dead, don't we?
What do hoax theories reveal? Probably that we don't believe much of what is put before us. There is an unacknowledged understanding that life is often valued or explained at a superficial level. Most of us just want to get through it intact, sort of plod on. Some want to make it one way or another. Those that idly dream are perhaps wont to drag down achievers or go getters whilst indulging in wishful thinking. Not believing in anything today, enchanted by the ancient but scared of the new or believing that some more intelligent (yet strangely humanoid) alien life form exists in another dimension (3).
Then, of course, you wouldn't put it past them. Anyone with a passing interest in politics, military affairs and indeed those of the heart will know there is always duplicity, cover up, intrigue and other flirtations with the truth. It makes this world go around, sort of. (4)
I must admit to sniffing some plotting after reading of Pentagon involvement with aspects of the film industry at the time of the release of the film Pearl Harbor (2001). This when the US was bristling and Bush upping the ante (6).
Perhaps the problem with conspiracy theories is the suggestion that the powers that be are all powerful, all controlling and that their operations run smoothly . .
. . hmm.
(1)http://www.rense.com/
http://www.vialls.com/
and http://www.vialls.com/wecontrolamerica/peakoil.html
(2)http://videodetective.com/home.asp?PublishedID=5607
(3)http://www.geocities.com/tasdevil42/featured-photos.html
http://images.google.com/images?q=alien+life+forms&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&start=0&sa=N
(4)http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1855852005
(5)See also http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAE89.htm
(6)Top gun versus Sergeant Bilko? Duncan Campbell, MediaGuardian.co.uk, Aug 2001.
ps Poor sleep etzzz . . . . meant an eyeballing of Big Brother just to see what the attraction is/was. People offering themselves up to that level of scrutiny can't really expect much sympathy if it 'all goes wrong'. Shabaz aside, methinx from what l've seen of Pete, he suffers a social illness in that he's largely unrestrained in what he wants to say and is overegging it with his caricatures. He did seem to hit the nail on the head (in the bits that l saw) and strike something of a common chord. Who else agrees that when he called various of his colleagues 'hwanker! he expressed what we were thinking?
Perhaps more revealing is how he is more relaxed and less prone to express himself in that way now that he's in an 'open' environment and can express himself more freely.
Big Brother should maybe turn the screw some here and flood or aversion therapy the guy - or maybe he's the ringer? (Jus' kidding).
Not fair? Who are you trying to kid? The whole show is an expose of the self (of sorts) and all it's extensions. Others have probably said that we see in the participants extreme forms of ourselves. Our quirks naked for all to see. Us perhaps squealy voyeurs and closet wannabes (could also be the start of a successful career - l suggest a spinoff Pete and Shabaz on a desert island or flat that is hooked up via net and mobile phone to the outside world. My guess is they'd probably 'cure' each other - and would be up for it).
Not fair, cont'd . . Bullying perhaps? Funny that the blonde haired lady was hauled up for a 'mauling' and sherzzassshhh was allowed to continue his manipulation of events for far too long. He was allowed to act the spoilt brat to get his way. The opposite end of the spectrum to bullying perhaps but far more insidious in effect. ln this case the emptiest contestant held full sway and now the manipulation continues (Like, l say it could all be a plot and Sheraz is in on it. Pff mugs ain't we, eh?) lf it's the case that the poor guy had gotten to the point of considering suicide then Big Brother is guilty as charged. l'm sure the contestants had some clue what they were letting themselves in for. . . .
. . .Zzzzz
Any tale is open to interpretation and tellers well always put their bent or be subject to 'unknown unknowns'. We see plots where there aren't any, patch up loose ends to get a beginning and so on. Indeed many a quirky fact or interesting lead is turned up but it would seem that once you go down that route things become evermore outlandish (1).
Scour the net and there's loads of this stuff, enough to make you believe that not much 'out there' is, erm, believable.
However, once you start picking through them their incoherence becomes apparent.
9/11 for instance - planes guided from the ground, mock-up at the Pentagon, explosives in the Towers, brainwashed dupes, etc. Enough and more to make Tolkein look like an amateur and not bad going for people that supposedly can't organise proverbials in a brewery.
There can be reason to believe that an unfair hand has been involved. The moon landings occured at a time when The US wanted to be the undisputed champions in space and given the uses of fabricated evidence it could have been a Hollywood set. Like the cow, though, get over it - we've been to the moon.
Diana was certainly an embarassment to the status quo and the accident was fortunate for those that uphold the sanctity, if not the sanity (2), of the monarchy. (I'd actually let Charles off talking to plants after all the earbashing my pc gets). However, Diana was merely a chapter in an unravelling saga.
Although you wouldn't put it past them.
Most of us accept that Elvis is dead, don't we?
What do hoax theories reveal? Probably that we don't believe much of what is put before us. There is an unacknowledged understanding that life is often valued or explained at a superficial level. Most of us just want to get through it intact, sort of plod on. Some want to make it one way or another. Those that idly dream are perhaps wont to drag down achievers or go getters whilst indulging in wishful thinking. Not believing in anything today, enchanted by the ancient but scared of the new or believing that some more intelligent (yet strangely humanoid) alien life form exists in another dimension (3).
Then, of course, you wouldn't put it past them. Anyone with a passing interest in politics, military affairs and indeed those of the heart will know there is always duplicity, cover up, intrigue and other flirtations with the truth. It makes this world go around, sort of. (4)
I must admit to sniffing some plotting after reading of Pentagon involvement with aspects of the film industry at the time of the release of the film Pearl Harbor (2001). This when the US was bristling and Bush upping the ante (6).
Perhaps the problem with conspiracy theories is the suggestion that the powers that be are all powerful, all controlling and that their operations run smoothly . .
. . hmm.
(1)http://www.rense.com/
http://www.vialls.com/
and http://www.vialls.com/wecontrolamerica/peakoil.html
(2)http://videodetective.com/home.asp?PublishedID=5607
(3)http://www.geocities.com/tasdevil42/featured-photos.html
http://images.google.com/images?q=alien+life+forms&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&start=0&sa=N
(4)http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1855852005
(5)See also http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAE89.htm
(6)Top gun versus Sergeant Bilko? Duncan Campbell, MediaGuardian.co.uk, Aug 2001.
ps Poor sleep etzzz . . . . meant an eyeballing of Big Brother just to see what the attraction is/was. People offering themselves up to that level of scrutiny can't really expect much sympathy if it 'all goes wrong'. Shabaz aside, methinx from what l've seen of Pete, he suffers a social illness in that he's largely unrestrained in what he wants to say and is overegging it with his caricatures. He did seem to hit the nail on the head (in the bits that l saw) and strike something of a common chord. Who else agrees that when he called various of his colleagues 'hwanker! he expressed what we were thinking?
Perhaps more revealing is how he is more relaxed and less prone to express himself in that way now that he's in an 'open' environment and can express himself more freely.
Big Brother should maybe turn the screw some here and flood or aversion therapy the guy - or maybe he's the ringer? (Jus' kidding).
Not fair? Who are you trying to kid? The whole show is an expose of the self (of sorts) and all it's extensions. Others have probably said that we see in the participants extreme forms of ourselves. Our quirks naked for all to see. Us perhaps squealy voyeurs and closet wannabes (could also be the start of a successful career - l suggest a spinoff Pete and Shabaz on a desert island or flat that is hooked up via net and mobile phone to the outside world. My guess is they'd probably 'cure' each other - and would be up for it).
Not fair, cont'd . . Bullying perhaps? Funny that the blonde haired lady was hauled up for a 'mauling' and sherzzassshhh was allowed to continue his manipulation of events for far too long. He was allowed to act the spoilt brat to get his way. The opposite end of the spectrum to bullying perhaps but far more insidious in effect. ln this case the emptiest contestant held full sway and now the manipulation continues (Like, l say it could all be a plot and Sheraz is in on it. Pff mugs ain't we, eh?) lf it's the case that the poor guy had gotten to the point of considering suicide then Big Brother is guilty as charged. l'm sure the contestants had some clue what they were letting themselves in for. . . .
. . .Zzzzz
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Saving Charlotte Wyatt.
Why is medical science too afraid to take on the challenge that the Wyatt's have presented them? Charlotte Wyatt is to all intents and purposes a living human being and her parents 'little fighter'. Granted the poor girl has considerable difficulties and may endure a naturally short and painful life and has only survived thus far with considerable attention. . . . . Her parents want as much support given to her as is possible and really, shouldn't this be the case?
Maybe it's not so ironic that Charlotte's parents are christian (of one loose affiliation or another). Having their broken daughter fixed to become whole again may be rich in symbolism, say, resurrection or something. I'm not sure and wouldn't want to burden them with another argument. However, it should be the case that every endeavour is made for Charlotte's survival and improvement. And while we're at it maybe we could discuss the value of human life.
Mr. and Mrs. Wyatt may be fighting something of a losing battle both legally and medically but that doesn't mean that they lose. There's a window of opportunity here.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1749984,00.htmlork
Maybe it's not so ironic that Charlotte's parents are christian (of one loose affiliation or another). Having their broken daughter fixed to become whole again may be rich in symbolism, say, resurrection or something. I'm not sure and wouldn't want to burden them with another argument. However, it should be the case that every endeavour is made for Charlotte's survival and improvement. And while we're at it maybe we could discuss the value of human life.
Mr. and Mrs. Wyatt may be fighting something of a losing battle both legally and medically but that doesn't mean that they lose. There's a window of opportunity here.
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1749984,00.htmlork
Sunday, August 21, 2005
NIMBY#5 Housing for the future?
According to a Times Bricks and Mortar supplement some 67% of us are disappointed with our houses. Whether respondents were transplacing other feelings onto their houses or whether this relates to the houses themselves is a moot point. It could be the spiralling cost or some concern over where society is headed. Astute buyers may have made a killing on the back of an inflated market but one does wonder what sort of dwellings our children or grandchildren may inhabit. Houses built at todays level of output would have to stand for 1500 years! Somehow can't see that happening by any measure as modern housing lacks the solidity of its predecessors and merely apes the style, particularly mass built housing.
Most modern housing is stuck in a timewarp. New developments of mock tudor or georgian 'style' are hastily built on any scrap of land where demand is high. New environmentally sensitive regulations call for higher density build so we still live unnecessarily in the lap of our neighbours.
Despite many improvements in materials and construction methods new housing still attempts to replicate the old. Where factory built housing components are manufactured they still resemble brickwork and little genuine prefabricated work exists particularly in the UK. Even manufacturers of prefabricated buildings still feel the need to encase buildings in brick tiles for that traditional look ie. to make them look like something that they are not.
This is pathetic but understandable in a culture that dare not face the future and seeks comfort in an imagined past.
What of bolder visions?
Although some architects may produce expensive and gimmicky one offs there are houses designed and built with increased specification and functionality, relatively simple in design and execution yet far from commonplace. Frank Lloyd-Wright with his Fallingwater house, for one, showed that nature should not bind us to limitations . . .
View/read on:
http://www.audacity.org/Acrobat%20Reader%20files/Housing%20Forum%202002.pdf
http://www.lmearchitecture.com/houses.htm
http://brasembottawa.org/cd/1arq_3.9.2.res_macab_helio.htm
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=falling+water+house&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
http://www.treehugger.com/files/prefab/index.php
http://www.channel4.com/4homes/diyandbuilding/buildinghouse/kit_homes.html
Most modern housing is stuck in a timewarp. New developments of mock tudor or georgian 'style' are hastily built on any scrap of land where demand is high. New environmentally sensitive regulations call for higher density build so we still live unnecessarily in the lap of our neighbours.
Despite many improvements in materials and construction methods new housing still attempts to replicate the old. Where factory built housing components are manufactured they still resemble brickwork and little genuine prefabricated work exists particularly in the UK. Even manufacturers of prefabricated buildings still feel the need to encase buildings in brick tiles for that traditional look ie. to make them look like something that they are not.
This is pathetic but understandable in a culture that dare not face the future and seeks comfort in an imagined past.
What of bolder visions?
Although some architects may produce expensive and gimmicky one offs there are houses designed and built with increased specification and functionality, relatively simple in design and execution yet far from commonplace. Frank Lloyd-Wright with his Fallingwater house, for one, showed that nature should not bind us to limitations . . .
View/read on:
http://www.audacity.org/Acrobat%20Reader%20files/Housing%20Forum%202002.pdf
http://www.lmearchitecture.com/houses.htm
http://brasembottawa.org/cd/1arq_3.9.2.res_macab_helio.htm
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=falling+water+house&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
http://www.treehugger.com/files/prefab/index.php
http://www.channel4.com/4homes/diyandbuilding/buildinghouse/kit_homes.html
Friday, August 19, 2005
Money, money, money . . .
Currently there's to be a revamp of UK currency with a £3o,ooo prize for the six winning designs. Being totally crap with money, and bearing a grudge against my bank manager I'd rather do away with the stuff completely then we could discuss a better way to manage our affairs. (And my bank manager could get a proper job.)
http://money.guardian.co.uk/news_/story/0,1456,1551368,00.html
http://money.guardian.co.uk/news_/story/0,1456,1551368,00.html
Sunday, August 14, 2005
NIMBY#4. Go wild in the country.
The route to and from work can be a particular joy - especially this time of year with the fields, meadows, wetlands and woods all in brilliant colour. On good days the whole area comes alive - joggers, fishermen, canoeists, barges, 'mountain' bikers, dog walkers and so on.
It teems with wildlife and farm animals - heron, kingfisher, woodpeckers - in fact more birds than I could throw a stick at (jus' kidding) let alone name - even a couple of rare (to these isles) stork. Then there's mink, shrews, mice, bats and the occasional deer . . one could go on.
Oh, and wild cherries grow around the sewage treatment plant - tasty.
Despite all this though in real terms the area is nothing special. Disused railway lines, quarries, tips and crumbling old buildings show that we've been here before. When the motorway network was in its infancy a proposed link road was outlined to join the M1 and M62 from Dewsbury to Wakefield. Though such a scheme would likely cause a great deal of protest today it should be noted that the canal network was a development from navigable rivers and a forerunner of such things as motorways. Myself, despite being pro-industry and for development, wouldn't particularly want to live too close to a major road - who does?
But then nobody should really have to. There is no shortage of available land - according to the government Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (1) only 10.6% of UK landmass is built upon. This figure is from 1991 but since then most development has occurred on previously developed sites - 'brownfield'. Far from covered in concrete then and plentiful land so that we shouldn't have to live on top of one another. (Not that there is anything wrong in particular with high rise, hustle and bustle city living but that is a different matter.)
Many problems face those that wish to live in the countryside. One respondent had the good fortune to acquire some old buildings but nature and officialdom won the day. Not only did the old, listed buildings have to be rebuilt to specification but since Bats moved into the residence the new owner was not allowed to occupy it!
(1)http://www.defra.gov.uk/environment/statistics/land/lduse.htm
(2)See also http://www.newstatesman.com/landreform/lrindex.htm
It teems with wildlife and farm animals - heron, kingfisher, woodpeckers - in fact more birds than I could throw a stick at (jus' kidding) let alone name - even a couple of rare (to these isles) stork. Then there's mink, shrews, mice, bats and the occasional deer . . one could go on.
Oh, and wild cherries grow around the sewage treatment plant - tasty.Despite all this though in real terms the area is nothing special. Disused railway lines, quarries, tips and crumbling old buildings show that we've been here before. When the motorway network was in its infancy a proposed link road was outlined to join the M1 and M62 from Dewsbury to Wakefield. Though such a scheme would likely cause a great deal of protest today it should be noted that the canal network was a development from navigable rivers and a forerunner of such things as motorways. Myself, despite being pro-industry and for development, wouldn't particularly want to live too close to a major road - who does?
But then nobody should really have to. There is no shortage of available land - according to the government Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (1) only 10.6% of UK landmass is built upon. This figure is from 1991 but since then most development has occurred on previously developed sites - 'brownfield'. Far from covered in concrete then and plentiful land so that we shouldn't have to live on top of one another. (Not that there is anything wrong in particular with high rise, hustle and bustle city living but that is a different matter.)Many problems face those that wish to live in the countryside. One respondent had the good fortune to acquire some old buildings but nature and officialdom won the day. Not only did the old, listed buildings have to be rebuilt to specification but since Bats moved into the residence the new owner was not allowed to occupy it!
(1)http://www.defra.gov.uk/environment/statistics/land/lduse.htm
(2)See also http://www.newstatesman.com/landreform/lrindex.htm
Saturday, August 13, 2005
NIMBY#3, Border dispute.
Despite the cosiness of the neighbourhood private property issues do surface. We all like our own space from time to time and our private concerns clash with others. 24/7 living and working means that people come and go all times of day or night, Canadian geese honk in excitement(!?!) as they approach Pugneys Lake (an ex quarry), kids playing out, the relentless DIY and garden maintainance or just playing music.
The neighbourhood is more or less constantly 'active'.
Weekend mornings become slowly disturbed as someone dares to break the relative peace and tranquility. Usually about half past nine the first few lump hammer and bolster chisel blows or power tools can be heard only to die off for a sheepish half hour as the slumbering neighbourhood resigns itself to arousal.
One of the chief culprits is Dave (whose bloody kids make World War 3 sound as though it's going off in my backyard - bless 'em).
When fixing the fence in my lower garden he asked if I could do something about the privet hedge that threatened to push out the wall into his backyard.
Pfff, go on then. As the fence was being held up by the bush they both went. Dave and family got used to the increased light and openess and I couldn't be arsed rebuilding a fence so everything turned out well.
When a new neighbour dropped a row of leylandii things got even better - much more openess. It led me to think of how we view our territory and the uses we put it to.
When we consider that, at a guess, some two thirds of homes all have common features in their gardens - shed and tools, benches, etc and the occasional use we put them to it seemed like a good idea to have all the gardens minimised opening up to parkland and backing on to the pub. Do away with all the replicated junk that we horde and have a proper public house and 'garden'. It would be even nicer to move the adjoining pallet yard and follow through to the River Calder's edge, perhaps build a boathouse.
To the front of the Pub and behind the old Post Office (now closed) there used to be a Foundry - a longstanding bone of contention to residents. Now closed down the land is to be used for yet more houses. Not a village green then.
Back to the real world.
The local pub is undergoing a fair amount of renovation as the landlord approaches retirement age and is considering selling up. Part of this is the erection of a new wall dividing the offset gardens and the pub's beer garden. Long established and overgrown hedges that had formed a natural barrier gave way to a border dispute, lines were drawn and some choice cussing was to be heard.
Bollocks!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Some muthas do 'ave 'em.
Generation Kill by Evan Wright is an 'easy' read into the minds of men in battle. As one reviewer remarks, it's a 'visceral' read. Perhaps everyone should read one book like this just to see what are the 'on the ground' consequences of what is, effectively, colonial policy.
The book provides a snapshot into the lives, method and thoughts of U.S. combat troops at the very front in The Iraq War - now the war whose major protagonists wish to disown.
Hoo-har?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0552151890/qid=1136017454/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_3_1/203-8675549-9723131
Also of interest is Acts of war by Professor Richard Holmes (admittedly, part read). Early in the book he mentions there is something of an 80% chance of success in a military operation; this presumably when the odds are in favour. A figure perhaps as relevant as Vic Reeves' '84.2% of statistics are made up on the spot'. (82.4%?) Add in Rumsfield's 'unknowns' and then do the math(s).
When you consider the eficiencies and operation of peacetime industry then war, as the dirtiest of business, and its manner shouldn't really come as a surprise.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0304367001/ref=sib_rdr_dp/203-8675549-9723131
The book provides a snapshot into the lives, method and thoughts of U.S. combat troops at the very front in The Iraq War - now the war whose major protagonists wish to disown.
Hoo-har?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0552151890/qid=1136017454/sr=2-1/ref=sr_2_3_1/203-8675549-9723131
Also of interest is Acts of war by Professor Richard Holmes (admittedly, part read). Early in the book he mentions there is something of an 80% chance of success in a military operation; this presumably when the odds are in favour. A figure perhaps as relevant as Vic Reeves' '84.2% of statistics are made up on the spot'. (82.4%?) Add in Rumsfield's 'unknowns' and then do the math(s).
When you consider the eficiencies and operation of peacetime industry then war, as the dirtiest of business, and its manner shouldn't really come as a surprise.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0304367001/ref=sib_rdr_dp/203-8675549-9723131
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Whose ideas?
The ongoing palaver over chinese computer guru Kai Fu Lee could do with discussing in detail (1). Bill Gates of Microsoft is reluctant to see Lee move to Google's chinese operation and work in competition using ideas and information gained whilst at microsoft.
Whether Gates is right or even fully voicing his concerns is open to interpretation. Regardless, taken at face value, copyright or intellectual property operates both ways and cannot be truly regulated or monopolised. I assume Bill Gates didn't hand rear Kai Fu Lee and teach him every thing he knows. Doubtless that Lee will have picked up or developed many an idea whilst at microsoft. Yet, and particularly in Lee's case, it seems just as likely that as much if not more was contributed.
Likewise, are we to assume that Gates designed or developed every aspect of microsoft innovation or did he manage to hoover up as much from others? Not to doubt Mr. Gates intellectual or technical prowess by any means. But it does seem to be the case that the expertise in question resides with the host.
Lee's work for google may serve to refresh or refine his capabilities due to the different environment. A change is as good as a rest, so it's said.
(1) http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2002426557_kaifu08.html
Ps. I am deeply indebted to Mr Gates and his team for the Windows (Tm.) 'concept' as it aids a scattered mind. Buy that man a drink.
Whether Gates is right or even fully voicing his concerns is open to interpretation. Regardless, taken at face value, copyright or intellectual property operates both ways and cannot be truly regulated or monopolised. I assume Bill Gates didn't hand rear Kai Fu Lee and teach him every thing he knows. Doubtless that Lee will have picked up or developed many an idea whilst at microsoft. Yet, and particularly in Lee's case, it seems just as likely that as much if not more was contributed.
Likewise, are we to assume that Gates designed or developed every aspect of microsoft innovation or did he manage to hoover up as much from others? Not to doubt Mr. Gates intellectual or technical prowess by any means. But it does seem to be the case that the expertise in question resides with the host.
Lee's work for google may serve to refresh or refine his capabilities due to the different environment. A change is as good as a rest, so it's said.
(1) http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/businesstechnology/2002426557_kaifu08.html
Ps. I am deeply indebted to Mr Gates and his team for the Windows (Tm.) 'concept' as it aids a scattered mind. Buy that man a drink.
Monday, August 08, 2005
NIMBY #2. My house*, !7 Industrial st.
(*Strictly speaking the house isn't mine - it belongs to the Bank - although they had precious little to do with building it.)
' If the street was called something other than Industrial St. then the estate agent said it would probably add £2000 to the value.' (neighbour.)
'Like - Shit farm at the end of the St.?' (me.)
Of all the houses looked at this one had instant appeal as it fit in with what I assumed to be needs at the time - close enough to family and work and with enough surrounding facilities to keep ourselves occupied. The backgarden faces easterly, receiving plenty of sunshine throughout most of the day. The bulk of residents 'love it down here' and it's not too hard to see why.
Initially the desire to have a place where my immediate family - 2 rather grown up 'children' - could come and stay meant that the structure of the house would have to change - watch out Heath Robinson!
The loft as it is is too small for any meaningful conversion. However, there is sufficient ceiling heights on both levels to lower floors and gain loft space and a 'cabin' bedroom and sundeck. Of course there would be an issue of privacy but then knocking down the neighbour's houses at the back would go some way to alleviate that (see N#3 'Border dispute').
Taking out floors does seem like a mighty task but with organisation, method and understanding neighbours it wouldn't prove too difficult. In my most recent employment, a welder/fabricator in the modular building industry, such things are done in a relatively short space of time. For instance if a roof is welded on the wrong way around (I'm not the only one to have done this!) it is easy enough (despite the ball ache) to grind it off and spin it around, albeit with use of an overhead crane. (see forthcoming N#? for 'The future of building: Prefabs?').
A partition wall between kitchen and living room that never looked right was removed making the downstairs open plan. It also revealed a stone slab floor that had been partially brutalised by fitting a gas supply for the fire. Potentially lovely and offering some continuation of the house to the patio via the newly fitted patio doors. It's coldness in winter was to be alleviated by installing underfloor heating thus giving a reservoir and even spread of heat. Time and money are lacking so this idea has been shelved. A quickfix solution is to board over the floor but I'm in more than two minds about this hence the gap above the patio doors (infilled with Kingspan insulation panels) allows the finished floor to be any height required.
Then of course there is all the rewiring and plumbing, etc but one thing at a time (or not). All this work on a house that is some 100 years old!
Despite the uniform appearance of the street from the front the houses have been built in fits and starts and probably for workers that supplied local industry its labour. Humble in their origins and never anything that special they have taken on new significance due to the prominence of housing in the economy and our lives. The build quality is nothing special either despite the solidity of traditional materials. This last point can be thrown into perspective by a comparison with 'temporary' housing built for railway construction workers about the turn of last century at Dodworth, Barnsley. South Yorkshire Buildings are built to similar standards as these workers' cottages yet still exist today and are 'worth' considerably more than was originally intended.
These days there are many people extending and 'modernising' their houses, in fact it's a continuous phenomenon so God help those working the nightshift let alone anyone wanting peace and quiet. It doesn't need to be this way.
When the amount of work upgrading old housing stock is considered against the efficiency of factory built housing it makes one wonder.
See also -
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/12/opinion/12krugman.html?8hpib
Who do you think you are kidding . . . . ?
These days it's not just asian youth that suffer from identity but pretty much everyone. After all isn't the very notion of identity something of a superficiality? No one has a fixed identity other than perhaps given ones. Of course there are some that will devoutly follow a cause rightly or wrongly and this is perhaps where we should begin.
Ignorance can never be bliss.
According to Roger scruton '(i)t is not a question of the actual history, but rather the history that is required to create a national loyalty' (1)(my italics). Now anyone can commit the odd faux pas, the odd factual error or emphasis, etc. but a sanitised history should be a non starter. To all intents and purposes official histories have always been cleaned up or spun although with greater access to information - book , TV, internet, etc - a much more complete view can be gained and that is to the good. Once the project of rewriting history starts where does it end? Buildings and Empires may be ground into dust but events cannot be erased.
Call me a pessimist but after initially being pleasantly surprised at the UK's successful Olympic bid the next thought was that of it being a target of sorts. And so it was. It would be nice to think that the world could be a nicer place but such things happen and not without reason. That a handful of individuals could cause such alarm with their misguided aims is telling as to how fragile society is cohered.
After the 7th July london bombings I went to discuss the issue amongst the asian community - a very loose term. Older men (50 years old or thereabouts), couldn't understand why asian youth are so disaffected. After all, today's relative integration and prosperity stands in stark contrast to what they knew at a comparative age. The overwhelming view was that they loved this country, counted themselves as British and indeed 'would fight for this country' (2). Although when asked whether the war in Iraq was justifiable there was as much difference of opinion as amongst my predominantly white colleagues.
Of course one or two went for the war for oil line - 'Respect' had been 'fighting the fascists' in the area (but not arguing for their ideas in mainly white areas where the BNP, their ideological foe, were standing). Many held an equally misguided view of ' if you bomb them, they will bomb you' which avoids the issue as much as saying 'not in my name'.
When the conversation turned to the tyranny of Saddam Hussein opinion began to diverge and it was remembered that many of the attrocities commited had been conveniently talked down when there was any sniff of western involvement at the time (3).
Asian youth were somewhat suspicious and more reticent in offering their views (but could take the mick just as good as any group of white lads). Outwardly it would appear that asian youth have similar problems as their white counterparts but with the added burden of being part of a 'community by default'. One youth stated that he had aplied for some 30 jobs in the past 2 months but had not received one reply back. Unless they are prepared to do a dirty, shitty job(4), go into the family business, taxi driving, etc., or, even worse, a job that is set aside for 'ethnic minorities' then they are caught between a rock and a hard place. Of course with the headlong pursuit into multiculturalism, and indeed the merits of individuals, there are more people of obvious or comparatively 'recent ' arrival in top flight jobs. Not a bad thing by any means but stands in stark contrast to the days of the token black face of the eighties and the even cruder stereotyping of earlier years.
Speaking to a white company director with recruitment problems I asked why he didn't employ any asians. His reply was 'the (white) lads just wouldn't get on with them'. When 'the lads' were asked why they had negative views I was told that 'pakis' (a catch all term) were dirty, ignorant, drug-dealers, treat their women bad, don't pay taxes, sponge off benefits and generally 'shouldn't be here'. Although much of the same could be applied to themselves if truth were told. Yet the same people were matey enough when meeting asians face to face - in the takeaways, taxis and shops. In fact one guy who espoused particularly backward views - generally mouthing off about the BNP and white power - was politeness personified in his local asian ran shop. What you see isn't always what you get.
Likewise, in a kebab house in deepest Savilletown, Dewsbury, where the owner and staff were all dressed in mufti and pictures of mecca adorned the walls I figured I'd get that bugbear of many whites that 'they would all speak their own language', yet colloquial english was the order of the day - one lad got a full on effing earbashing that would have done any off TV comic or sergeant-major proud. (There's also a Kosher-Halal fish and chip shop - something for everyone?)
Bradford city council was one of the first to ban the displaying of the St. George flag for fear of arousing underlying tensions yet the fact that asian taxi drivers were amongst those flying the flag seemed to escape them. Again, there are many asians just as likely to be seen wearing England football shirts as white people (although maybe not so after the Danish debacle).
(1)See Prospect (Subscription), April 2005 http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/article_details.php?id=6832&AuthKey=104793ed6d8a973ae04abfbd3e5ff03b&issue=503
(2)And not for the first time. See Asians in Britain by Visram, pp 169-195 and 341-353 http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0745313736/qid=1123568219/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_10_2/026-0984041-7434865
(3)See Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halabja_poison_gas_attack.
(4)' I feel like a wog' by The Stranglers.
(5)See Fitzpatrick The price of multiculturalism
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
Reply to Wakefield Express letter:’Have more respect’ (22nd. July 2005). http://www.wakefieldtoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=733&ArticleID=1092126
It seems both Andrew Longstaff and Howard Miles ought to wise up.
Romanticised views of the past are long gone, well, except in the minds of some politicos, suicide bombers and little englanders. Past events are being rewritten to suit a changing world but the trouble is no one seems quite sure what to write. Indeed, the powers that be will struggle to cohere a vision of unity when that unity is based on loose values – multi faith, multi cultured, sanitised heritage or dodgy humanitarian mission.
New Labours middle class angst plus a school prefect attitude to law and order is a recipe for disaster. Chuck in some mysticism – any flavour and it’s mush at best.
But disparaging our leadership gets us nowhere without condemning their actions. History may yet record Tony Blair as a war criminal, and if we’re not mindful then oureselves by association. After all, isn’t this a favourite trick of those that viewed Germans as inherently war-like and prone to invading other countries?
If the truth be known Higher British intentions were no more worthy than those of their opponents – as true then as now. Not quite two world wars and one world cup anymore but then it’s easy to sing when you’re winning.
Iraq seems to be little more than a vainglorious reality TV project, albeit one with devastating consequences for the Iraqi people. After a decade of sanctions, ‘illegal’ US, UK and French military interventions and direct dealings with Saddam then it’s not too hard to understand why the coalition weren’t met with flower garlands, dancing girls and a ticker tape parade.
Iraqis weren’t fooled and neither should we be. There was never any concern for Iraqi people – this was more about making Bush and Blair look like the good guys.
Iraq won’t go away and as it was an ill conceived venture in the first place all that our leaders have done is create a power vacuum. That’s almost as telling at home as abroad.
Much has been said about official war commemorations from the 200th Anniversary of Trafalgar to the 60th of the end of WW2. Yet these commemorations have been notably tame affairs. Why is this? For fear of arousing passions that are irrational or because society views itself through the prism of victim hood? All of this is worth discussing further.
Maybe that’s something our elites can ponder as they get decadent en Provence.
It seems both Andrew Longstaff and Howard Miles ought to wise up.
Romanticised views of the past are long gone, well, except in the minds of some politicos, suicide bombers and little englanders. Past events are being rewritten to suit a changing world but the trouble is no one seems quite sure what to write. Indeed, the powers that be will struggle to cohere a vision of unity when that unity is based on loose values – multi faith, multi cultured, sanitised heritage or dodgy humanitarian mission.
New Labours middle class angst plus a school prefect attitude to law and order is a recipe for disaster. Chuck in some mysticism – any flavour and it’s mush at best.
But disparaging our leadership gets us nowhere without condemning their actions. History may yet record Tony Blair as a war criminal, and if we’re not mindful then oureselves by association. After all, isn’t this a favourite trick of those that viewed Germans as inherently war-like and prone to invading other countries?
If the truth be known Higher British intentions were no more worthy than those of their opponents – as true then as now. Not quite two world wars and one world cup anymore but then it’s easy to sing when you’re winning.
Iraq seems to be little more than a vainglorious reality TV project, albeit one with devastating consequences for the Iraqi people. After a decade of sanctions, ‘illegal’ US, UK and French military interventions and direct dealings with Saddam then it’s not too hard to understand why the coalition weren’t met with flower garlands, dancing girls and a ticker tape parade.
Iraqis weren’t fooled and neither should we be. There was never any concern for Iraqi people – this was more about making Bush and Blair look like the good guys.
Iraq won’t go away and as it was an ill conceived venture in the first place all that our leaders have done is create a power vacuum. That’s almost as telling at home as abroad.
Much has been said about official war commemorations from the 200th Anniversary of Trafalgar to the 60th of the end of WW2. Yet these commemorations have been notably tame affairs. Why is this? For fear of arousing passions that are irrational or because society views itself through the prism of victim hood? All of this is worth discussing further.
Maybe that’s something our elites can ponder as they get decadent en Provence.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Nimby project #1 Working title: 'Einsturzende . . '
This piece is a ramble through 'my own backyard', a shameless adventure of sorts.Unfortunately, the original script for this introduction was lost when (badly) editing photos. Bollocks! bollocks and more bollocks.
(It may be recovered at a later date.)
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Work in progress . . .
'To begin with, we need to find out where businesses get their ideas for new R+D based products. Fortunately Cohen, Nelson and Walsh asked just this question in 2002 as part of a Carnegie Mellon survey on industrial R+D. They also reviewed the contributions of university and government research labs - ''public reseach'' - to industrial innovation. Their survey showed that customers were the best source of ideas for business projects (named by 90% of respondents), with the next best source being manufacturing operations (74%). Public research comes second bottom on the list (32%). So, the best business ideas do not come from the lab but from business and the market. Where the scientists come in is identifying the technology capable of meeting customer need.'
From 'People not ideas' by Stephen Allott. Prospect, April 2005.(http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/article_details.php?id=6806&category=&author=2258&AuthKey=4dc30ca20268632045f4bc407587a210).
'American farmers were lobbying manufacturers to make cars with detachable back seats as early as 1909. It took Detroit more than a decade to 'invent' the pick up truck.'
'One really exciting thing about about user led innovation is that customers seem willing to donate their creativity freely. . . . . some firms are starting to believe that there really is such a thing as a free lunch.'
Both from 'The future of innovation - The rise of the creative consumer'. The Economist, March 12th - 18th 2005
http://www.economist.com/printedition/displayStory.cfm?Story_ID=S%27%29%280%28RA7%26%20%40%22L%0A
See also The Creativity Gap by James Heartfield. http://www.design4design.com/broadsides/creative.pdf
Innovation and the workplace?
(a.k.a. 'An anger statement against employers'.)
Introduction.
This has been something of a mental battle as considering the mechanics of developing an idea many other factors came to bear, so much that a consideration of the barriers to innovation became more necessary.
By innovation I mean the standard dictionary definition of to introduce something new, to which I would prefer to add, to aid a positive outcome. This is stated as despite innovation mostly having positive connotations and suggesting progressive aims, in practice and intent it can be anything but.
I choose to look at the subject primarily from a manufacturing aspect ie. a hands on approach, although this not to fetishise manual labour as much of the ends of this process are of as much use as other work. In so calling into question the products and labours of one then all labour necessitates justification and the ends to which it is put. A much bigger question and one best answered collectively.
Neither does this approach assume that all or even the best ideas come from the ground up. I merely make the point that an operative familiar with his or her job is most often better placed to make improvements. What works on the drawing board doesn’t necessarily materialise without modification in practice.
The bulk of this ‘essay’ stems from some 3 years as an employee and discussions with personnel at all levels at a well known manufacturer of modular buildings.
(Interestingly enough, the company was borne out of the endeavours of one of the founders building trailers in his garage.)
Various other working experiences are drawn on for backup.
Www.dictionary.com and thesaurus provided a key in offering rambling (amongst many others) thus giving the subject some lateral scope and me an entry.
Innovation clearly does not come from one source - accident, intent, flash of inspiration, cross over of ideas or some unknown triggering influence.
‘Trying is the first step towards failure’ (works graffiti).
Developing an idea leads to a broadening of horizons, akin to climbing a ladder and being able to see further with each step. Lateral and vertical planes, each a plateau of opportunity or pitfall, as much daunting as fruitful. With each step forward different factors may influence our decisions, prior knowledge is challenged by that of others and modifications occur – strengthening, refinement, accommodation or a tangent.
Mistakes or setbacks are a natural part of developing ideas (if you’re not making any then perhaps you aren’t trying hard enough.)
Innovation may be driven by a negative outlook, even arising when humanity is at its most inhumane. Wartime’s urgent necessities require continuous refinement and new development as one seeks to be ahead of the game; science, technology, culture and labour put to nefarious use. It exposes class relations in their most regimented and naked form. The working class tamed and trained to bark and rollover, any questioning tantamount to treason and the lower ranks making it all work whilst suffering the shortcomings. The officer class write the rules and give themselves plaudits while our boys and girls do all their dirty work.
It’s a job, but a crap one.
See Military Innovation in the Interwar Period synopsis and reviews (incl. Newt Gingrich) http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0521637600/qid=1123504172/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-7307011-3373767
ABC
Innovation need not necessarily be anything too inventive. Temporary problems do not require complex solutions. A contemporary primitive example could be something as simple as shoving a book under a wobbly sofa. A temporary solution to a temporary problem, mission accomplished and we pretty much all do something like it when needs must.
A brief mention of the home ‘handyperson’ (man then). Where previously the home handyman may have been pleased to fashion something out of a few scraps from a skip, today he finds an abundance of relatively inexpensive tools, materials and a whole range of ‘how to’ books, programs and so forth, allowing him to take a measure of pride in getting things to fit and adapting . . . . . probably sheds and shelves to put all his DIY stuff in and on.
Inadvertently, I helped a mate potty train his son when I took him with me to the gents. The next morning, and to our amazement, he stubbornly refused his nappy, stood up and aped what he had seen the night before. I was so impressed that helping him with the stairgate catches he was struggling with didn’t seem too bad an idea.
Dave, the doting father and keen pilot, was alarmed until remembering jumping from the top of the stairs onto piled up coats in his youth.
Children can learn very early, and despite being cute everything works out better if they are gently encouraged to progress from early on. After all, who knows where the little buggers (yorks. sl) may fly to tomorrow?
Nathan, a sometime colleague of mine, after a lifetime of monkeying around, is very adept with bits and pieces. For instance he was able to unlock his flat using a twig, his shoelace and belt. Unfortunately he is currently spending some time ‘pleasuring Her Majesty’ when previously he was actually a damn fine but under rewarded worker. He claims dyslexia yet makes the complicated seem easy and can explain so.
As a rookie on a construction site he ‘twocked’ the biggest vehicle there was, a 100ft scissor lifter and proceeded to knock spots off men with 2-3 years experience, achieving new records and setting a high standard. Initially enthusiastic and glad to have the chance to mend his ways yet stuck in routine and low paid work. Welcome to the real world, mate. (1)
Incidentally, this company has a ‘Bash on!’ culture - rough ‘n’ ready but gets the job done. After working with them and witnessing them overcome many a problem in a typical day, I asked a director why he didn’t treat ‘the lads’ with some respect. His reply: ‘they’re nuggets!’ and he didn’t mean gold.
Muddy site, biting winds, machinery fumes – where there’s muck there is definitely brass.
Self- employment.
With self-employment things become more interesting. Acquiring some status and access to business accounts gives far greater scope to be inventive. It can be a tinkers' dream but also a nightmare.
The oft reported long hours culture of the self employed can perhaps be explained to some extent by an intimate involvement with the product and meticulous attention to detail – ‘my name is on the product’ commonly quoted. It could be argued that this pertains to an early stage ie. that of the pre-employee sole trader or small business (or those operating in a more profitable niche market). Reason being market dynamics do not allow for much slack and the sole trader can become a busy fool doing everything at market rate (or less) whilst not having the means to sustain this, thus resorting to lengthening the working days and weeks to accommodate.
The most basic task in production is organisation – although in reality this has to be accompanied by a degree of flexibility. Nonetheless organising work so that effort is minimised, allowing efficient throughput of work is essential. This may be obvious yet it is surprising how little it occurs. It is by no means confined to small industry, although small industry is often ahead of the game albeit within the confines of its operation.
Hand in hand with design, manufacture is where true innovation lies ie. within the actual creative process itself. Oft repeated or similar tasks readily lend themselves to batch processes and the making and modification of tools, jigs or implementing of a controlling system. A great deal of time and effort may go into either so as to constantly make gains each time a process is performed. There can, however, be a tendency to become too absorbed in one particular aspect to the detriment of others and over refinement may occur. For instance, a collapsible light-stand once involved with caused considerable manufacturing problems until Shaun, a casual worker, devised a beautiful but complex solution.
A much simpler and easier to manufacture version of the same product is now made elsewhere but this is not to dismiss the experience as the process of trying and testing something new yields beneficial results in other circumstances. It is a matter of direction, effort and learning from mistakes.
New products, component parts and systems can significantly speed up production, add to functionality, appearance and have an accumulative effect.
Even two bit businesses are bombarded with tool, product and material brochures and the like. Obviously, these products are not magicked out of thin air.
Many is the time that a potential customer at a trade fair will know better what to expect from a product than the vendor unless he has intimate knowledge either through working with it or similar kit, or being the originator. This is not the same as merely studying the spec sheet and noting facts and figures. The brochure, blurb and salesman are mere fronts but what are they selling?
Designing, manufacturing and redesigning a product can be an exhilarating experience. It can also be physically and mentally exhausting, so much that the simplest of tasks can prove elusive, one and one somehow just not making two.
The beauty for the self-employed is the chance to work and experiment whilst alone. The downside to this is that it is usually carried out late on into the night, the phone’s stopped ringing and there are no callers, a modicum of tranquility and a chance to put thoughts into action.
Small businesses by their very nature operate within limits – that of reduced manpower, limited resources and therefore limited capacity. By no means perfect, big business has significant advantage in these areas. More involved work can be spread over more operatives and machinery greatly enhancing efficiency and productivity.
The successful or dynamic small business lends itself to expansion – larger premises, more equipment and employees – design, technical and support staff, operatives and management. Here though, the proprietor finds himself increasingly removed from the design and manufacturing process proper and moved into more of a management role. Despite maybe maintaining an interest in the actual production process this is necessarily evermore limited and delegated to subordinates. The same circumstances that the business developed under are now spread over more people and, more importantly, in more departments.
On the shop-floor similar features that the self-employed encountered still exist but are now in the hands of operatives, the labours of one divided between many, specialised operatives skilled in a fragment of a more productive whole.
This has huge benefits but perversely the reverse is more the truth.
Most often the man on the job best knows how to operate his kit and how to adapt it to get the best performance. The same person doing the same work as an employee hits many a problem -
· No longer having the same status he becomes a part of the company’s
machinery.
· He runs around the job and not the other way around as previous.
· The kit is no longer solely his and is shared with other operatives.
· That which was done as favour and out of interest is now expected to cue and not necessarily in sequence.
· Expertise and capability is taken for granted.
Management.
Management have limited ideas when it comes to innovation. A company director admitted as much when he candidly stated enjoying discussing counter posing viewpoints with employees as much useful information is gathered.
Similarly, the suggestion box has long been gathering dust as ideas presented got knocked back as being unworkable, naïve, expensive, etc. only to reappear in modified guise some time later with management’s name all over them. Good job, well done – and yes, we have been.
The ideas of shop floor employees are coaxed and manipulated for management’s own ends, freely absorbed, in fact, positively stolen. This happens in a manner of ways – as discussed above, passed around by supervisors eager for their extra bonus and being helpful, through the company bonus scheme and informally between operatives.
Company directors can, in some instances, be likened to Captain Mainwairing figures – detached, pompous, arrogant, patronising and rarely making sense - but then they are just doing their job. Their lower ranking minions, the supervisors, can be thus likened to corporals and sergeants, serving to keep the men in line, acting as channels of information between worker and management and, increasingly, between workers. Much of this information true and parts of it rumour or speculation. Maybe I judge harshly but for some it forms a significant part of their fabrication.
These loyal lackeys of the officer class, part of the general body of men but will most often fall into line with the bosses despite claiming or believing otherwise. From them management get a picture of the shop floor and can gauge the temperature or mood of the men.
Increased surveillance in the form of cctv provides a clearer picture but also mirrors insecurity and further exposes a lack of trust. It also shows they have little better to do than to spy on the workforce, so much that they have developed a peculiar, if not perverse, habit of cruising the toilet block.
If management knew what was good for them, the product, productivity and even, dare I say, profitability then they ought to take a step back. The shop floor is a much better organised and productive environment when there is less interference. A taste of this can be had during overtime when there is little of management around. An informal atmosphere develops and the place, oddly enough, is almost a joy to work in.
Although it must be remembered that this is prime and precious time.
Night time working is a particular oddity - life, literally, turned upside-down. The beauty again being a limited management structure, more space, less waiting for major plant and a chance to develop ideas if one is interested enough.
Perhaps most revealing of all are the rare occasions when there is no official management structure at all. Unsupervised and self-managed workers are able to get on with their work without hindrance – more productive, much more relaxed and tidier. There is no chain of command to follow or indeed chase and restrictions are limited.
Interestingly enough, on the latest occasion when word got around that there were no supervisors to be present, more men than usual turned in and organised themselves easily and quite naturally. At the end of the day you do what you have to and it is so much easier when no one is on your case.
In this rarefied atmosphere men are at their most cooperative, no hierarchy, just a willingness to get on with the job. The company enjoyable and almost civilised.
Management at all levels expend so much wasteful energy spying on and prying into the affairs of the workforce that they do not seem to understand the mechanics of production. Either that or they are wary of it in a more real and less fettered form. Elements of both are likely true.
Revolutionaries the men are not. For the most part the workforce just want to go to work, do a decent job and get paid a wage that affords a decent life – end of story.
The shop floor can and ought to be a hotbed of ideas and development. Instead ideas are buried, thwarted, withheld or develop haphazardly; true growth becomes stunted. This became apparent when the company employed a technical process officer to analyse ways of increasing performance. In all this should have been a good thing but was not positively viewed amongst the workforce. Instead of acknowledging our positive role and fully applying it there can be a leaning towards Luddism.
The enthusiastic worker is played off against others as not being up to scratch, that so and so are much quicker, etc, etc, so why the problem? Yet the same people that goad and harry have been known to book themselves and their cronies onto your job and ride you. One wonders why it takes longer than expected to have a pay review although, admittedly, the company rulebook states reviews are after 13 weeks, not at. In practice they tend to be well after this period, sometimes many months after. Within the 13 week period the diligent employee has more than likely banged in all the overtime, produced plenty and is already training up new recruits.
This flexible approach runs throughout company policy and procedure.
One of the directors let the cat out of the bag when he boasted at the Xmas presentation of how marvellous they all were (and that they ‘couldn’t have done it without you guys’). He rightfully stated that the company has an aggressive position in the sales and buying market. Akin to the maxim of foreign policy having it’s domestic counterpart then management have a similar stance in their dealings with employees with health and safety as the humanitarian arm of home-front relations.
Health and safety
Health and safety issues, fought for by generations of our predecessors and now, in these depoliticised times, at the forefront of employer/employee relations. Here for our protection and who would argue against that?
People go to work to earn a living, to get somewhere in life and not to kill, maim or wear themselves out in the process. Most of us accept the belief that we are in it for the long run, pace ourselves accordingly and, in a familiar environment, understand what works best for us and the job.
H+S regulations in application make little common sense. Everything sought to be formalised and accounted for. 'Difficult' issues are delayed, repackaged and usually restricted. Reasonably practical is the buzz phrase, as in ‘that’s not’ whenever the workplace requires something of consideration. The representation from the shop floor is mostly non-contributory, everything to be in writing and checked for grammar, spelling, whatever but not so often the content. Management, for their part, cross most of their T’s and dot about the same amount of i’s but that doesn’t make up for dishonesty.
The preference is to twist round our requests and use them against us. Health and safety becomes see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and question little. Any grievance dealt with by lengthy and tiresome procedure, and rarely judged on the issue. More sophistry than sophistication despite having a process for everything.
For management, the reverse of this is true. The response immediate, on some occasions backdated and always in writing, even when evidence is hearsay. To hear there are christians among these good people makes for more than irony when they act like the devil.
There are those in management who take H+S to heart and believe it to be looking after the general interest; take for instance the hearing and lung function tests - good idea but generally understood to be the company covering their backsides. Perhaps given away by questions asking whether there is a history of related illness in the family. Do we answer yes, and have them tested too? Perhaps to receive treatment? Perhaps not.
A more revealing example of the doublespeak of company rules and practice is the case of a supervisor catching his finger in the upstroke of an operation. The operation was carried out in a work area where steel is often ‘temporarily’ stored and access can be tricky. A worn punch caused the material to rock and nip the tip of his finger off. The real pain though was the loss of two weeks’ wages and monthly bonus. Not bad for 13 years loyal service.
H+S, seemingly a valuable tool acts more like a limp left wrist to the disciplining right hook, but the outcome is similar. In truth H+S provides an extra element of control - laissez-faire regulations for everything, anything or nothing, depending on who needs the treatment. The softer side of management, as opposed to being busted from your shift for attitude or having wages docked via reductions in bonus.
Football and control
What was a firm, fair, fast and furious game proved to be not only an excellent 4 times a week workout but led to greater informalising of worker relations and increased cooperation.
One or two design faults where a previous and unnecessary conflict of interests arose were ironed out of the product. Incidentally, the supervisors involved were more interested in getting the job out rather than sorting out problems in the factory. Maybe this is unfair as they were only following orders (or chasing their extra bonus).
The game was a huge bonus to morale, we were keen to get to work, get stuck in and enjoy a limited freedom. No one got hurt and the game was almost a delight to watch. So, everybody happy? Not management. In fact, management got the jitters, banned the game and altered the break times, paradoxically, on health and safety grounds.
Whereas men once had regular exercise that had an accumulative effect now they sit around, smoke, eat 'crap' and are, it’s fair to say, unhealthier.
Management for their part seek some shared collective experience and provide it in logoed fleece jackets, a rule book that follows the ‘reasonably practicable’ route and an Xmas party.
Xmas
Xmas fare often leaves a bad taste in the mouth as it is traditionally a time when management turn the heat up, settle scores and make disruptions. Their aspiration to encourage the view that they run some element of the show rather than merely being in charge, encourages a Stooge mentality, whatever the increase in output. The tendency for the rate of profitability to decline may also play a role here but there is a hefty degree of malice in the recipe.
The recipe is:
September – November time (ish) – allow a gentle rise in pay around about equal to that of inflation (August figure).
Gently run down the bonus payment to quite low, any excuse will do.
Sack one or two operatives and make life awkward for one or two more (optional but advised as a test).
In xmas pay packet give mini extra bonus, throw in a speech and have a party.
Peace and goodwill to all!
Delia Smith consultancy and ideal conditions
Modern industry rarely works in an integrated manner. The workshop is a constant battle against the nature of production as ‘modern factory’ conditions are far from ideal. Many processes happen in close proximity to one another, vying for contradicting conditions and subject to different pressures.
Although not quite 'Hell with the lid off' a glimpse of The Somme can be gained when retrieving deliveries from the yard, over many an obstacle and in adverse weather. A health and safety officer’s nightmare (unless of course one is protected by safety specs and ear protection) but neither the other men or machines are out to kill you, and you get to go home.
Installation – site work adds a further dimension as petty rivalries between different trades and their immediate concerns become more pronounced in the form of separate companies.
Grahame, my brother, a fine worker and one-time company stalwart, had the good fortune to work on a prestigious development in London. No doubt also picked for his keen and oh-so blue eyes, he soon came to describe the situation as gutting.
When previously outfits cooperated over deliveries, storage and plan of working everything went as well as it could. Then completion stages came to the fore and every company looked after number #1. Semi organised chaos - people on top of each other, work ripped out more than once and once good effort reduced to half-hearted or slapdash – like keystone cops but not as funny.
Good workers losing heart, interest and in a couple of cases their jobs as scapegoats were sought. Back at the factory bonuses were reduced.
Not to worry – it does what it says in the brochure. And the directors all got new cars, which is nice.
At the factory a smart consultancy was drafted in to encourage the junior ranks to run an efficient set up. For abstraction and levity they chose a pancake making example where all the ingredients were laid out in exact quantities and sequence and the task flows smoothly. The irony wasn’t lost on the supervisors.
Shopfloor innovations
There is a tendency for an individual employee to selfishly and pettily claim themselves to be the originator of an improvement, either for some element of status or maybe as a bargaining chip in wage review negotiations.
Often such improvements are a sum of parts and come from more than one source.
For example: simple board cutting ‘program’ for 32’ x10’ bases.
Gav showed #1 cut mark on the saw bed.
Well over a year later, Boothy, our pilot friend, from a different shift, matter of factly passed on the info that the boards had to be cut at 32 and 57 inches - not something readily noticed in millimetres where the odd 4-5mm wasn’t amiss (and the mind perhaps elsewhere.)
The third cut being the longest, combining the two previous at 89”. Info courtesy of, quite literally Mad, Lee Robinson.
Finally our humble Mr. Booth told of his favoured fourth position which allowed the boards to be handled in a different manner.
This then jumped to having 4 marks on the saw bed, order of boards for least handling, quantity of boards for common jobs, the saw powered up once for the duration of the ‘program’ and a 45min dawdle transformed into a 10 min doddle and this on every corresponding job.
* No tape or measuring required, job accurate and efficient.
The neatness of the operation lent to the idea of batch cutting, dedicated job, recorded sizes, known repeat offcuts, possible investment in a router and a dedicated area to operate rather than the half thought out option that prevails.
Incidentally, the supervisor said it would be a good job for a labourer.
Further thoughts -
reorganising workshop layout for efficient throughput,
transport and product options eg. flatpacking, more beneficial products and using rail option nearby. But then this is still taking things as we find them – what of M1/M62 factory site or airlift direct to site installation?
Perhaps this is what HRH Charlie means by getting ideas above our station, but then maybe he should speak for himself.
HRH provides a fitting example of what the aforementioned Gav calls an ‘inverse reality ratio’, implied in this case that someone who is actually quite useless is valued more than the people that actually produce society’s requirements and they considered little better than serfs.
Baseline – how low can you go?
Building regulations are always changing. ‘Earth summit’ conferences at Rio, Kyoto and Johannesburg and the concentration on climate change have led, amongst other things, to the implementation of Part L regulations. Part L, for us, concerns insulation.
The base is the first part of the building unit. Part L resulted in a laboriously manufactured subframe to carry an extra layer of mineral fibre, very much an afterthought and difficult to do to a decent standard (largely due to irregular spacing of components as per company drawings).
In practice certain sizes led to a more efficient use of materials and an easier job. A rough sketch and some basic maths led to 5 or 6 examples being manufactured and proved a better design. Calculation was reduced and standardised as were components.
Noticing insulated panels quickly led to even greater simplification, then further refined by a member of the drawing office. In total, wastages of materials, time and labour were substantially reduced and a better product is the result.
When the idea was presented to the Technical Director the question was raised, hypothetically, about time saved going towards reducing the working week. His reply was that the benefit would be an increase in the bonus payout. Mais non! – not the bonus that is manipulated at the whim of management and found to be faulty and readjusted every 2 years?
Assurances given by said Director that this wouldn’t be the case have since proven baseless.
None of this is rocket science and not particularly original - a similar method has been seen employed on a competitor’s product, built and installed before ‘our’ product got off the ground.
On the level.
The workshop floor is very uneven so the laying of the base prior to the next step in manufacture required the use of a laser level and packing. Again, a repeat task, remedied by making removable and numbered blocks corresponding to positions on the floor. Simple and saves half an hour per job.
Grant, a previous employee, had a hand in this. He has since been sacked ostensibly for his attitude relating to his colourful use of language against an asian supervisor.
This is management at their most innovative. Grant’s attitude is what led him to introduce something new in the first place and the spat between him and the supervisor arose partly because supervisors don’t like to be outshone.
In the main though, the origins lay in Grant being the unofficial mouthpiece for the nightshift against the recent bonus recalculation.
True, he did make things awkward for himself and others by going down the race route but the spat was largely seen as half a dozen of one and 6 of the other, pantomime and posturing rather than anything as gross as was made out.
A Few good men
* * * * * *
Informal breaks (a.k.a. stealing from the company).
Generally, people accept that conditions aren’t ideal and strive to make their working environment as conducive as possible to a 40 hours+ slog. Manual work can be a pretty dirty business and one doesn’t expect to be pampered.
The first 10-15 mins. on the job are usually spent getting ‘dialled in’ – doing paperwork, checking the drawing, setting out personal tools and equipment and checking the job over. This before work begins proper.
When the cats are away the mice prefer to do this with a fag, a coffee and discussion with our partner. Everything sorted and we’re off.
The informal break arises for all manner of reasons –
When waiting for the next component or major plant to be available.
After completing a particularly arduous part of the job (usually ‘raced’ to get it out of the way.)
When problems arise and one needs to pause and come back with a fresh approach.
Whatever the reason it is rarely a dragged out affair.
Adam, a hardworking youth, fell foul of this though. Kept waiting for his pay review and miffed that he had to train up an agency worker on some £2.50 an hour more than him, he decided to ‘kick ass’. So much that between them they managed to get the bulk of the work done in half the time normally expected. A moment arose when they were waiting so they nipped off for a quick smoke only to be spotted by an upstart manager.
Adam lost his bonus for the month and the agency worker lost the chance to enjoy our company.
A workshop in full effect is a delight - ‘an effing ballet’ as was overheard in conversation with a suitably safety bespecced H+S officer. It’s a pity that a minority always spoil it.
Good workers are treat little better than schoolkids, driven nearly mad with petty regulation, become frustrated, or operate below capacity
Further notes.
On the one hand, the workforce apply themselves well and are initially promised much in reward for their endeavour yet this is always subject to the delaying tactic, daylight robbery of bonus payments or accrued holiday pay when one leaves in some cases. The result turns good men into cynics and in some cases worse. Every day seemingly Groundhog Day. The clock-in machine displays ‘hello’ – it may as well laugh in our faces.
Management’s specialty lies in being petty, awkward and spiteful which goes quite some way to undermining their own interests by making life difficult for the workers and the attitude in response becomes a muttered ‘fuck ‘em’ (shopfloor parlance - excuse the french), a semi-detachment to our work or cringing deference.
Of course one can climb the greasy pole and seek personal advancement into the higher ranks through competence, attitude and one or two other ingredients. It may initially leave a bad taste in the mouth but it seems to be an acquired one.
Of course our grievances can be addressed through company procedure but given that the company instigates the grievance, provides judge, jury, executioner and author of the rules then it is little wonder that our noble and civilised directors can claim that it is a tried and tested method that always works – for them.
Rules and procedure are for proving one’s innocence when usually the result is a foregone conclusion. If you have the right attitude – ie a suck-up - then the procedure is more for show and gathering information.
Meekly conforming to increasing regulation, complacent or uncertain about the future and keeping our heads down, arses up and the blinkers on. Don’t step out of line, do as you’re told because management know best. Maybe we could accept our station in life if they did.
There are elements within management that are creative and hardworking and even have some positive contribution to make. Though their main claims to innovation rest on sleight of hand, doublespeak, purloining and rehashing the ideas of others and a flexible interpretation of their own rules.
#4 Excuses and cop outs for which we should make none - cracking under pressure – extra time and penalties but we were well ahead at work and desiring to partake in life’s pleasure’s shouldn’t have guilt attachment.
#9 It is hoped to establish a firm connection between productive work and design for liberalising both. The commonsense environment that is the shop-floor is capable of throwing up evermore. However again this has a limited nature in the here and now due to the isolated nature of the individual worker whose actions are gelled with others through the company structure and what camaraderie after or at odds with that.
#6 FLEXIBLE – factory and society - integrated c/w well rewarded with time off
~ training up apprentices, the willing.
. MULTISKILLED and job demarcation, a desire to get the job done well, perhaps develop more of an interest in the product and its application
#10 WORKFORCE needs to acknowledge its progressive role and not rely on the token or joke effort – good for the morale it may be, but it tends to make us into clowns. #Like a quarrelling couple . . . manifestations of tension expose themselves in usually trivial ways.
#Reappraisal of our efforts as easy route is anything but.
Whatever the figures – production, wages, holidays we all pay too high a price for our livelihood and liberties although some more than others.
As for development we still have one foot in the primordial mire.
The doers and nurses, tinkers and sailors, clerks, teachers and sweeper uppers – the people that produce and service whatever society requires. Ordinary intelligent people consigned to repetition and low horizons, frustrated by petty regulation and kept waiting. The first to bear the brunt of any shortfall yet often the people that put ideas into action. Our humour and morals perhaps coarse but worth paying money for and more honest in our dealings than any christian, reborn or otherwise.
#3 BRANDING ’Make it as if it is for yourself ‘ – expresses an element of pride in one’s work but also an unconscious desire that someone else has lavished care on products that we purchase ie. the labours of others. This is debateable . . .
Unofficial company mottoes are (that we make) ‘silk purses out of sows’ ears’ and ‘shithouses for building sites’. The norms of capitalism rarely allow for the Marks and Spencer food counter conditions despite what we may be led to believe in our youth or what the brochure says.
Some examples:
Counterfeit goods – Levi’s – even better than the real thing. (Designer jeans.)
Badge engineering – Ford Maverick + Nissan . . . . . . erm?
Atlas copco and Milwaukee power tools (buyout?)
Hershey’s and wholesale move to Mexico
Primark and Next jackets - identical except for logo and price
Lyons bakery - M+S + market stalls, same process and largely similar ingredients.
sophisticated eqpt. Steve, a service engineer for a German co. offered the tale of tapping around a sophisticated panel of electronic gear with the butt of a screwdriver as opposed to waiting all day on the off chance that a fault would show.
Doctors performing a hip operation using lump hammer and shiny chisel.
Isn’t it written somewhere that without vision the people perish?
The contemporary view that the planet is doomed – pchoh! Then more not less human activity is a requirement. Surely if things are that bad then we should be putting things right – sink or swim?
-NB.- The dominant view (in mainstream and chattering classes) denies human agency as a force for good and, worse still, would have us cower before nature – as though nature is a coherent force. When not feeling guilty for past sins, mainly consuming too much . . .
So, what Planet are We on?
Whilst looking for a half remembered quote (some media jock wanting a ‘big step for mankind’ when asking an astronaut what goes through his mind at take-off and getting ‘ this rocket was built by the cheapest tender’) I came across C.P. Snow –
‘The only weapon we have to oppose the effects of technology is technology itself. There is no other. We can’t retreat into a non-technological Eden that never existed. It is only by the rational use of technology to control and guide that we can keep any hopes of a social life which is not appalling to imagine’.
***
(1) Nathan Watts MX4171
HMP Highpoint
South 4, G-spur/43
Stradishall
Suffolk
CB9 9YG.
Nathan, something of a fallen angel (think of Brad Pitt character in Snatch and you're not far wrong. (Also see/hear Shania twain), has embarked upon a creative writing course. Although the material can be a bit dark he's worth corresponding with.
From 'People not ideas' by Stephen Allott. Prospect, April 2005.(http://www.prospectmagazine.co.uk/article_details.php?id=6806&category=&author=2258&AuthKey=4dc30ca20268632045f4bc407587a210).
'American farmers were lobbying manufacturers to make cars with detachable back seats as early as 1909. It took Detroit more than a decade to 'invent' the pick up truck.'
'One really exciting thing about about user led innovation is that customers seem willing to donate their creativity freely. . . . . some firms are starting to believe that there really is such a thing as a free lunch.'
Both from 'The future of innovation - The rise of the creative consumer'. The Economist, March 12th - 18th 2005
http://www.economist.com/printedition/displayStory.cfm?Story_ID=S%27%29%280%28RA7%26%20%40%22L%0A
See also The Creativity Gap by James Heartfield. http://www.design4design.com/broadsides/creative.pdf
Innovation and the workplace?
(a.k.a. 'An anger statement against employers'.)
Introduction.
This has been something of a mental battle as considering the mechanics of developing an idea many other factors came to bear, so much that a consideration of the barriers to innovation became more necessary.
By innovation I mean the standard dictionary definition of to introduce something new, to which I would prefer to add, to aid a positive outcome. This is stated as despite innovation mostly having positive connotations and suggesting progressive aims, in practice and intent it can be anything but.
I choose to look at the subject primarily from a manufacturing aspect ie. a hands on approach, although this not to fetishise manual labour as much of the ends of this process are of as much use as other work. In so calling into question the products and labours of one then all labour necessitates justification and the ends to which it is put. A much bigger question and one best answered collectively.
Neither does this approach assume that all or even the best ideas come from the ground up. I merely make the point that an operative familiar with his or her job is most often better placed to make improvements. What works on the drawing board doesn’t necessarily materialise without modification in practice.
The bulk of this ‘essay’ stems from some 3 years as an employee and discussions with personnel at all levels at a well known manufacturer of modular buildings.
(Interestingly enough, the company was borne out of the endeavours of one of the founders building trailers in his garage.)
Various other working experiences are drawn on for backup.
Www.dictionary.com and thesaurus provided a key in offering rambling (amongst many others) thus giving the subject some lateral scope and me an entry.
Innovation clearly does not come from one source - accident, intent, flash of inspiration, cross over of ideas or some unknown triggering influence.
‘Trying is the first step towards failure’ (works graffiti).
Developing an idea leads to a broadening of horizons, akin to climbing a ladder and being able to see further with each step. Lateral and vertical planes, each a plateau of opportunity or pitfall, as much daunting as fruitful. With each step forward different factors may influence our decisions, prior knowledge is challenged by that of others and modifications occur – strengthening, refinement, accommodation or a tangent.
Mistakes or setbacks are a natural part of developing ideas (if you’re not making any then perhaps you aren’t trying hard enough.)
Innovation may be driven by a negative outlook, even arising when humanity is at its most inhumane. Wartime’s urgent necessities require continuous refinement and new development as one seeks to be ahead of the game; science, technology, culture and labour put to nefarious use. It exposes class relations in their most regimented and naked form. The working class tamed and trained to bark and rollover, any questioning tantamount to treason and the lower ranks making it all work whilst suffering the shortcomings. The officer class write the rules and give themselves plaudits while our boys and girls do all their dirty work.
It’s a job, but a crap one.
See Military Innovation in the Interwar Period synopsis and reviews (incl. Newt Gingrich) http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0521637600/qid=1123504172/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/102-7307011-3373767
ABC
Innovation need not necessarily be anything too inventive. Temporary problems do not require complex solutions. A contemporary primitive example could be something as simple as shoving a book under a wobbly sofa. A temporary solution to a temporary problem, mission accomplished and we pretty much all do something like it when needs must.
A brief mention of the home ‘handyperson’ (man then). Where previously the home handyman may have been pleased to fashion something out of a few scraps from a skip, today he finds an abundance of relatively inexpensive tools, materials and a whole range of ‘how to’ books, programs and so forth, allowing him to take a measure of pride in getting things to fit and adapting . . . . . probably sheds and shelves to put all his DIY stuff in and on.
Inadvertently, I helped a mate potty train his son when I took him with me to the gents. The next morning, and to our amazement, he stubbornly refused his nappy, stood up and aped what he had seen the night before. I was so impressed that helping him with the stairgate catches he was struggling with didn’t seem too bad an idea.
Dave, the doting father and keen pilot, was alarmed until remembering jumping from the top of the stairs onto piled up coats in his youth.
Children can learn very early, and despite being cute everything works out better if they are gently encouraged to progress from early on. After all, who knows where the little buggers (yorks. sl) may fly to tomorrow?
Nathan, a sometime colleague of mine, after a lifetime of monkeying around, is very adept with bits and pieces. For instance he was able to unlock his flat using a twig, his shoelace and belt. Unfortunately he is currently spending some time ‘pleasuring Her Majesty’ when previously he was actually a damn fine but under rewarded worker. He claims dyslexia yet makes the complicated seem easy and can explain so.
As a rookie on a construction site he ‘twocked’ the biggest vehicle there was, a 100ft scissor lifter and proceeded to knock spots off men with 2-3 years experience, achieving new records and setting a high standard. Initially enthusiastic and glad to have the chance to mend his ways yet stuck in routine and low paid work. Welcome to the real world, mate. (1)
Incidentally, this company has a ‘Bash on!’ culture - rough ‘n’ ready but gets the job done. After working with them and witnessing them overcome many a problem in a typical day, I asked a director why he didn’t treat ‘the lads’ with some respect. His reply: ‘they’re nuggets!’ and he didn’t mean gold.
Muddy site, biting winds, machinery fumes – where there’s muck there is definitely brass.
Self- employment.
With self-employment things become more interesting. Acquiring some status and access to business accounts gives far greater scope to be inventive. It can be a tinkers' dream but also a nightmare.
The oft reported long hours culture of the self employed can perhaps be explained to some extent by an intimate involvement with the product and meticulous attention to detail – ‘my name is on the product’ commonly quoted. It could be argued that this pertains to an early stage ie. that of the pre-employee sole trader or small business (or those operating in a more profitable niche market). Reason being market dynamics do not allow for much slack and the sole trader can become a busy fool doing everything at market rate (or less) whilst not having the means to sustain this, thus resorting to lengthening the working days and weeks to accommodate.
The most basic task in production is organisation – although in reality this has to be accompanied by a degree of flexibility. Nonetheless organising work so that effort is minimised, allowing efficient throughput of work is essential. This may be obvious yet it is surprising how little it occurs. It is by no means confined to small industry, although small industry is often ahead of the game albeit within the confines of its operation.
Hand in hand with design, manufacture is where true innovation lies ie. within the actual creative process itself. Oft repeated or similar tasks readily lend themselves to batch processes and the making and modification of tools, jigs or implementing of a controlling system. A great deal of time and effort may go into either so as to constantly make gains each time a process is performed. There can, however, be a tendency to become too absorbed in one particular aspect to the detriment of others and over refinement may occur. For instance, a collapsible light-stand once involved with caused considerable manufacturing problems until Shaun, a casual worker, devised a beautiful but complex solution.
A much simpler and easier to manufacture version of the same product is now made elsewhere but this is not to dismiss the experience as the process of trying and testing something new yields beneficial results in other circumstances. It is a matter of direction, effort and learning from mistakes.
New products, component parts and systems can significantly speed up production, add to functionality, appearance and have an accumulative effect.
Even two bit businesses are bombarded with tool, product and material brochures and the like. Obviously, these products are not magicked out of thin air.
Many is the time that a potential customer at a trade fair will know better what to expect from a product than the vendor unless he has intimate knowledge either through working with it or similar kit, or being the originator. This is not the same as merely studying the spec sheet and noting facts and figures. The brochure, blurb and salesman are mere fronts but what are they selling?
Designing, manufacturing and redesigning a product can be an exhilarating experience. It can also be physically and mentally exhausting, so much that the simplest of tasks can prove elusive, one and one somehow just not making two.
The beauty for the self-employed is the chance to work and experiment whilst alone. The downside to this is that it is usually carried out late on into the night, the phone’s stopped ringing and there are no callers, a modicum of tranquility and a chance to put thoughts into action.
Small businesses by their very nature operate within limits – that of reduced manpower, limited resources and therefore limited capacity. By no means perfect, big business has significant advantage in these areas. More involved work can be spread over more operatives and machinery greatly enhancing efficiency and productivity.
The successful or dynamic small business lends itself to expansion – larger premises, more equipment and employees – design, technical and support staff, operatives and management. Here though, the proprietor finds himself increasingly removed from the design and manufacturing process proper and moved into more of a management role. Despite maybe maintaining an interest in the actual production process this is necessarily evermore limited and delegated to subordinates. The same circumstances that the business developed under are now spread over more people and, more importantly, in more departments.
On the shop-floor similar features that the self-employed encountered still exist but are now in the hands of operatives, the labours of one divided between many, specialised operatives skilled in a fragment of a more productive whole.
This has huge benefits but perversely the reverse is more the truth.
Most often the man on the job best knows how to operate his kit and how to adapt it to get the best performance. The same person doing the same work as an employee hits many a problem -
· No longer having the same status he becomes a part of the company’s
machinery.
· He runs around the job and not the other way around as previous.
· The kit is no longer solely his and is shared with other operatives.
· That which was done as favour and out of interest is now expected to cue and not necessarily in sequence.
· Expertise and capability is taken for granted.
Management.
Management have limited ideas when it comes to innovation. A company director admitted as much when he candidly stated enjoying discussing counter posing viewpoints with employees as much useful information is gathered.
Similarly, the suggestion box has long been gathering dust as ideas presented got knocked back as being unworkable, naïve, expensive, etc. only to reappear in modified guise some time later with management’s name all over them. Good job, well done – and yes, we have been.
The ideas of shop floor employees are coaxed and manipulated for management’s own ends, freely absorbed, in fact, positively stolen. This happens in a manner of ways – as discussed above, passed around by supervisors eager for their extra bonus and being helpful, through the company bonus scheme and informally between operatives.
Company directors can, in some instances, be likened to Captain Mainwairing figures – detached, pompous, arrogant, patronising and rarely making sense - but then they are just doing their job. Their lower ranking minions, the supervisors, can be thus likened to corporals and sergeants, serving to keep the men in line, acting as channels of information between worker and management and, increasingly, between workers. Much of this information true and parts of it rumour or speculation. Maybe I judge harshly but for some it forms a significant part of their fabrication.
These loyal lackeys of the officer class, part of the general body of men but will most often fall into line with the bosses despite claiming or believing otherwise. From them management get a picture of the shop floor and can gauge the temperature or mood of the men.
Increased surveillance in the form of cctv provides a clearer picture but also mirrors insecurity and further exposes a lack of trust. It also shows they have little better to do than to spy on the workforce, so much that they have developed a peculiar, if not perverse, habit of cruising the toilet block.
If management knew what was good for them, the product, productivity and even, dare I say, profitability then they ought to take a step back. The shop floor is a much better organised and productive environment when there is less interference. A taste of this can be had during overtime when there is little of management around. An informal atmosphere develops and the place, oddly enough, is almost a joy to work in.
Although it must be remembered that this is prime and precious time.
Night time working is a particular oddity - life, literally, turned upside-down. The beauty again being a limited management structure, more space, less waiting for major plant and a chance to develop ideas if one is interested enough.
Perhaps most revealing of all are the rare occasions when there is no official management structure at all. Unsupervised and self-managed workers are able to get on with their work without hindrance – more productive, much more relaxed and tidier. There is no chain of command to follow or indeed chase and restrictions are limited.
Interestingly enough, on the latest occasion when word got around that there were no supervisors to be present, more men than usual turned in and organised themselves easily and quite naturally. At the end of the day you do what you have to and it is so much easier when no one is on your case.
In this rarefied atmosphere men are at their most cooperative, no hierarchy, just a willingness to get on with the job. The company enjoyable and almost civilised.
Management at all levels expend so much wasteful energy spying on and prying into the affairs of the workforce that they do not seem to understand the mechanics of production. Either that or they are wary of it in a more real and less fettered form. Elements of both are likely true.
Revolutionaries the men are not. For the most part the workforce just want to go to work, do a decent job and get paid a wage that affords a decent life – end of story.
The shop floor can and ought to be a hotbed of ideas and development. Instead ideas are buried, thwarted, withheld or develop haphazardly; true growth becomes stunted. This became apparent when the company employed a technical process officer to analyse ways of increasing performance. In all this should have been a good thing but was not positively viewed amongst the workforce. Instead of acknowledging our positive role and fully applying it there can be a leaning towards Luddism.
The enthusiastic worker is played off against others as not being up to scratch, that so and so are much quicker, etc, etc, so why the problem? Yet the same people that goad and harry have been known to book themselves and their cronies onto your job and ride you. One wonders why it takes longer than expected to have a pay review although, admittedly, the company rulebook states reviews are after 13 weeks, not at. In practice they tend to be well after this period, sometimes many months after. Within the 13 week period the diligent employee has more than likely banged in all the overtime, produced plenty and is already training up new recruits.
This flexible approach runs throughout company policy and procedure.
One of the directors let the cat out of the bag when he boasted at the Xmas presentation of how marvellous they all were (and that they ‘couldn’t have done it without you guys’). He rightfully stated that the company has an aggressive position in the sales and buying market. Akin to the maxim of foreign policy having it’s domestic counterpart then management have a similar stance in their dealings with employees with health and safety as the humanitarian arm of home-front relations.
Health and safety
Health and safety issues, fought for by generations of our predecessors and now, in these depoliticised times, at the forefront of employer/employee relations. Here for our protection and who would argue against that?
People go to work to earn a living, to get somewhere in life and not to kill, maim or wear themselves out in the process. Most of us accept the belief that we are in it for the long run, pace ourselves accordingly and, in a familiar environment, understand what works best for us and the job.
H+S regulations in application make little common sense. Everything sought to be formalised and accounted for. 'Difficult' issues are delayed, repackaged and usually restricted. Reasonably practical is the buzz phrase, as in ‘that’s not’ whenever the workplace requires something of consideration. The representation from the shop floor is mostly non-contributory, everything to be in writing and checked for grammar, spelling, whatever but not so often the content. Management, for their part, cross most of their T’s and dot about the same amount of i’s but that doesn’t make up for dishonesty.
The preference is to twist round our requests and use them against us. Health and safety becomes see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil and question little. Any grievance dealt with by lengthy and tiresome procedure, and rarely judged on the issue. More sophistry than sophistication despite having a process for everything.
For management, the reverse of this is true. The response immediate, on some occasions backdated and always in writing, even when evidence is hearsay. To hear there are christians among these good people makes for more than irony when they act like the devil.
There are those in management who take H+S to heart and believe it to be looking after the general interest; take for instance the hearing and lung function tests - good idea but generally understood to be the company covering their backsides. Perhaps given away by questions asking whether there is a history of related illness in the family. Do we answer yes, and have them tested too? Perhaps to receive treatment? Perhaps not.
A more revealing example of the doublespeak of company rules and practice is the case of a supervisor catching his finger in the upstroke of an operation. The operation was carried out in a work area where steel is often ‘temporarily’ stored and access can be tricky. A worn punch caused the material to rock and nip the tip of his finger off. The real pain though was the loss of two weeks’ wages and monthly bonus. Not bad for 13 years loyal service.
H+S, seemingly a valuable tool acts more like a limp left wrist to the disciplining right hook, but the outcome is similar. In truth H+S provides an extra element of control - laissez-faire regulations for everything, anything or nothing, depending on who needs the treatment. The softer side of management, as opposed to being busted from your shift for attitude or having wages docked via reductions in bonus.
Football and control
What was a firm, fair, fast and furious game proved to be not only an excellent 4 times a week workout but led to greater informalising of worker relations and increased cooperation.
One or two design faults where a previous and unnecessary conflict of interests arose were ironed out of the product. Incidentally, the supervisors involved were more interested in getting the job out rather than sorting out problems in the factory. Maybe this is unfair as they were only following orders (or chasing their extra bonus).
The game was a huge bonus to morale, we were keen to get to work, get stuck in and enjoy a limited freedom. No one got hurt and the game was almost a delight to watch. So, everybody happy? Not management. In fact, management got the jitters, banned the game and altered the break times, paradoxically, on health and safety grounds.
Whereas men once had regular exercise that had an accumulative effect now they sit around, smoke, eat 'crap' and are, it’s fair to say, unhealthier.
Management for their part seek some shared collective experience and provide it in logoed fleece jackets, a rule book that follows the ‘reasonably practicable’ route and an Xmas party.
Xmas
Xmas fare often leaves a bad taste in the mouth as it is traditionally a time when management turn the heat up, settle scores and make disruptions. Their aspiration to encourage the view that they run some element of the show rather than merely being in charge, encourages a Stooge mentality, whatever the increase in output. The tendency for the rate of profitability to decline may also play a role here but there is a hefty degree of malice in the recipe.
The recipe is:
September – November time (ish) – allow a gentle rise in pay around about equal to that of inflation (August figure).
Gently run down the bonus payment to quite low, any excuse will do.
Sack one or two operatives and make life awkward for one or two more (optional but advised as a test).
In xmas pay packet give mini extra bonus, throw in a speech and have a party.
Peace and goodwill to all!
Delia Smith consultancy and ideal conditions
Modern industry rarely works in an integrated manner. The workshop is a constant battle against the nature of production as ‘modern factory’ conditions are far from ideal. Many processes happen in close proximity to one another, vying for contradicting conditions and subject to different pressures.
Although not quite 'Hell with the lid off' a glimpse of The Somme can be gained when retrieving deliveries from the yard, over many an obstacle and in adverse weather. A health and safety officer’s nightmare (unless of course one is protected by safety specs and ear protection) but neither the other men or machines are out to kill you, and you get to go home.
Installation – site work adds a further dimension as petty rivalries between different trades and their immediate concerns become more pronounced in the form of separate companies.
Grahame, my brother, a fine worker and one-time company stalwart, had the good fortune to work on a prestigious development in London. No doubt also picked for his keen and oh-so blue eyes, he soon came to describe the situation as gutting.
When previously outfits cooperated over deliveries, storage and plan of working everything went as well as it could. Then completion stages came to the fore and every company looked after number #1. Semi organised chaos - people on top of each other, work ripped out more than once and once good effort reduced to half-hearted or slapdash – like keystone cops but not as funny.
Good workers losing heart, interest and in a couple of cases their jobs as scapegoats were sought. Back at the factory bonuses were reduced.
Not to worry – it does what it says in the brochure. And the directors all got new cars, which is nice.
At the factory a smart consultancy was drafted in to encourage the junior ranks to run an efficient set up. For abstraction and levity they chose a pancake making example where all the ingredients were laid out in exact quantities and sequence and the task flows smoothly. The irony wasn’t lost on the supervisors.
Shopfloor innovations
There is a tendency for an individual employee to selfishly and pettily claim themselves to be the originator of an improvement, either for some element of status or maybe as a bargaining chip in wage review negotiations.
Often such improvements are a sum of parts and come from more than one source.
For example: simple board cutting ‘program’ for 32’ x10’ bases.
Gav showed #1 cut mark on the saw bed.
Well over a year later, Boothy, our pilot friend, from a different shift, matter of factly passed on the info that the boards had to be cut at 32 and 57 inches - not something readily noticed in millimetres where the odd 4-5mm wasn’t amiss (and the mind perhaps elsewhere.)
The third cut being the longest, combining the two previous at 89”. Info courtesy of, quite literally Mad, Lee Robinson.
Finally our humble Mr. Booth told of his favoured fourth position which allowed the boards to be handled in a different manner.
This then jumped to having 4 marks on the saw bed, order of boards for least handling, quantity of boards for common jobs, the saw powered up once for the duration of the ‘program’ and a 45min dawdle transformed into a 10 min doddle and this on every corresponding job.
* No tape or measuring required, job accurate and efficient.
The neatness of the operation lent to the idea of batch cutting, dedicated job, recorded sizes, known repeat offcuts, possible investment in a router and a dedicated area to operate rather than the half thought out option that prevails.
Incidentally, the supervisor said it would be a good job for a labourer.
Further thoughts -
reorganising workshop layout for efficient throughput,
transport and product options eg. flatpacking, more beneficial products and using rail option nearby. But then this is still taking things as we find them – what of M1/M62 factory site or airlift direct to site installation?
Perhaps this is what HRH Charlie means by getting ideas above our station, but then maybe he should speak for himself.
HRH provides a fitting example of what the aforementioned Gav calls an ‘inverse reality ratio’, implied in this case that someone who is actually quite useless is valued more than the people that actually produce society’s requirements and they considered little better than serfs.
Baseline – how low can you go?
Building regulations are always changing. ‘Earth summit’ conferences at Rio, Kyoto and Johannesburg and the concentration on climate change have led, amongst other things, to the implementation of Part L regulations. Part L, for us, concerns insulation.
The base is the first part of the building unit. Part L resulted in a laboriously manufactured subframe to carry an extra layer of mineral fibre, very much an afterthought and difficult to do to a decent standard (largely due to irregular spacing of components as per company drawings).
In practice certain sizes led to a more efficient use of materials and an easier job. A rough sketch and some basic maths led to 5 or 6 examples being manufactured and proved a better design. Calculation was reduced and standardised as were components.
Noticing insulated panels quickly led to even greater simplification, then further refined by a member of the drawing office. In total, wastages of materials, time and labour were substantially reduced and a better product is the result.
When the idea was presented to the Technical Director the question was raised, hypothetically, about time saved going towards reducing the working week. His reply was that the benefit would be an increase in the bonus payout. Mais non! – not the bonus that is manipulated at the whim of management and found to be faulty and readjusted every 2 years?
Assurances given by said Director that this wouldn’t be the case have since proven baseless.
None of this is rocket science and not particularly original - a similar method has been seen employed on a competitor’s product, built and installed before ‘our’ product got off the ground.
On the level.
The workshop floor is very uneven so the laying of the base prior to the next step in manufacture required the use of a laser level and packing. Again, a repeat task, remedied by making removable and numbered blocks corresponding to positions on the floor. Simple and saves half an hour per job.
Grant, a previous employee, had a hand in this. He has since been sacked ostensibly for his attitude relating to his colourful use of language against an asian supervisor.
This is management at their most innovative. Grant’s attitude is what led him to introduce something new in the first place and the spat between him and the supervisor arose partly because supervisors don’t like to be outshone.
In the main though, the origins lay in Grant being the unofficial mouthpiece for the nightshift against the recent bonus recalculation.
True, he did make things awkward for himself and others by going down the race route but the spat was largely seen as half a dozen of one and 6 of the other, pantomime and posturing rather than anything as gross as was made out.
A Few good men
* * * * * *
Informal breaks (a.k.a. stealing from the company).
Generally, people accept that conditions aren’t ideal and strive to make their working environment as conducive as possible to a 40 hours+ slog. Manual work can be a pretty dirty business and one doesn’t expect to be pampered.
The first 10-15 mins. on the job are usually spent getting ‘dialled in’ – doing paperwork, checking the drawing, setting out personal tools and equipment and checking the job over. This before work begins proper.
When the cats are away the mice prefer to do this with a fag, a coffee and discussion with our partner. Everything sorted and we’re off.
The informal break arises for all manner of reasons –
When waiting for the next component or major plant to be available.
After completing a particularly arduous part of the job (usually ‘raced’ to get it out of the way.)
When problems arise and one needs to pause and come back with a fresh approach.
Whatever the reason it is rarely a dragged out affair.
Adam, a hardworking youth, fell foul of this though. Kept waiting for his pay review and miffed that he had to train up an agency worker on some £2.50 an hour more than him, he decided to ‘kick ass’. So much that between them they managed to get the bulk of the work done in half the time normally expected. A moment arose when they were waiting so they nipped off for a quick smoke only to be spotted by an upstart manager.
Adam lost his bonus for the month and the agency worker lost the chance to enjoy our company.
A workshop in full effect is a delight - ‘an effing ballet’ as was overheard in conversation with a suitably safety bespecced H+S officer. It’s a pity that a minority always spoil it.
Good workers are treat little better than schoolkids, driven nearly mad with petty regulation, become frustrated, or operate below capacity
Further notes.
On the one hand, the workforce apply themselves well and are initially promised much in reward for their endeavour yet this is always subject to the delaying tactic, daylight robbery of bonus payments or accrued holiday pay when one leaves in some cases. The result turns good men into cynics and in some cases worse. Every day seemingly Groundhog Day. The clock-in machine displays ‘hello’ – it may as well laugh in our faces.
Management’s specialty lies in being petty, awkward and spiteful which goes quite some way to undermining their own interests by making life difficult for the workers and the attitude in response becomes a muttered ‘fuck ‘em’ (shopfloor parlance - excuse the french), a semi-detachment to our work or cringing deference.
Of course one can climb the greasy pole and seek personal advancement into the higher ranks through competence, attitude and one or two other ingredients. It may initially leave a bad taste in the mouth but it seems to be an acquired one.
Of course our grievances can be addressed through company procedure but given that the company instigates the grievance, provides judge, jury, executioner and author of the rules then it is little wonder that our noble and civilised directors can claim that it is a tried and tested method that always works – for them.
Rules and procedure are for proving one’s innocence when usually the result is a foregone conclusion. If you have the right attitude – ie a suck-up - then the procedure is more for show and gathering information.
Meekly conforming to increasing regulation, complacent or uncertain about the future and keeping our heads down, arses up and the blinkers on. Don’t step out of line, do as you’re told because management know best. Maybe we could accept our station in life if they did.
There are elements within management that are creative and hardworking and even have some positive contribution to make. Though their main claims to innovation rest on sleight of hand, doublespeak, purloining and rehashing the ideas of others and a flexible interpretation of their own rules.
#4 Excuses and cop outs for which we should make none - cracking under pressure – extra time and penalties but we were well ahead at work and desiring to partake in life’s pleasure’s shouldn’t have guilt attachment.
#9 It is hoped to establish a firm connection between productive work and design for liberalising both. The commonsense environment that is the shop-floor is capable of throwing up evermore. However again this has a limited nature in the here and now due to the isolated nature of the individual worker whose actions are gelled with others through the company structure and what camaraderie after or at odds with that.
#6 FLEXIBLE – factory and society - integrated c/w well rewarded with time off
~ training up apprentices, the willing.
. MULTISKILLED and job demarcation, a desire to get the job done well, perhaps develop more of an interest in the product and its application
#10 WORKFORCE needs to acknowledge its progressive role and not rely on the token or joke effort – good for the morale it may be, but it tends to make us into clowns. #Like a quarrelling couple . . . manifestations of tension expose themselves in usually trivial ways.
#Reappraisal of our efforts as easy route is anything but.
Whatever the figures – production, wages, holidays we all pay too high a price for our livelihood and liberties although some more than others.
As for development we still have one foot in the primordial mire.
The doers and nurses, tinkers and sailors, clerks, teachers and sweeper uppers – the people that produce and service whatever society requires. Ordinary intelligent people consigned to repetition and low horizons, frustrated by petty regulation and kept waiting. The first to bear the brunt of any shortfall yet often the people that put ideas into action. Our humour and morals perhaps coarse but worth paying money for and more honest in our dealings than any christian, reborn or otherwise.
#3 BRANDING ’Make it as if it is for yourself ‘ – expresses an element of pride in one’s work but also an unconscious desire that someone else has lavished care on products that we purchase ie. the labours of others. This is debateable . . .
Unofficial company mottoes are (that we make) ‘silk purses out of sows’ ears’ and ‘shithouses for building sites’. The norms of capitalism rarely allow for the Marks and Spencer food counter conditions despite what we may be led to believe in our youth or what the brochure says.
Some examples:
Counterfeit goods – Levi’s – even better than the real thing. (Designer jeans.)
Badge engineering – Ford Maverick + Nissan . . . . . . erm?
Atlas copco and Milwaukee power tools (buyout?)
Hershey’s and wholesale move to Mexico
Primark and Next jackets - identical except for logo and price
Lyons bakery - M+S + market stalls, same process and largely similar ingredients.
sophisticated eqpt. Steve, a service engineer for a German co. offered the tale of tapping around a sophisticated panel of electronic gear with the butt of a screwdriver as opposed to waiting all day on the off chance that a fault would show.
Doctors performing a hip operation using lump hammer and shiny chisel.
Isn’t it written somewhere that without vision the people perish?
The contemporary view that the planet is doomed – pchoh! Then more not less human activity is a requirement. Surely if things are that bad then we should be putting things right – sink or swim?
-NB.- The dominant view (in mainstream and chattering classes) denies human agency as a force for good and, worse still, would have us cower before nature – as though nature is a coherent force. When not feeling guilty for past sins, mainly consuming too much . . .
So, what Planet are We on?
Whilst looking for a half remembered quote (some media jock wanting a ‘big step for mankind’ when asking an astronaut what goes through his mind at take-off and getting ‘ this rocket was built by the cheapest tender’) I came across C.P. Snow –
‘The only weapon we have to oppose the effects of technology is technology itself. There is no other. We can’t retreat into a non-technological Eden that never existed. It is only by the rational use of technology to control and guide that we can keep any hopes of a social life which is not appalling to imagine’.
***
(1) Nathan Watts MX4171
HMP Highpoint
South 4, G-spur/43
Stradishall
Suffolk
CB9 9YG.
Nathan, something of a fallen angel (think of Brad Pitt character in Snatch and you're not far wrong. (Also see/hear Shania twain), has embarked upon a creative writing course. Although the material can be a bit dark he's worth corresponding with.
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