b b b b b but(t) . . . .

There was a scotsman, englishman and another scotsman who got caught out on the land of the DefraMyarsi. High prince Usurpa Miliband was furious that they had footprinted on his sacred 'land fit for heroes' (!?!) and sent them out to get him 5 samples of fruit whilst he thought of their punishment.

First back was canny scot, Gordon; he'd been frugal in his efforts and brought back 5 juniper berries.
Miliband told him he had to shove 5 of these up his ass everyday. Gordon, sweaty, shaken but a little relieved, mopped his brow and realised he could manage that.

Next to return was earnest Ed; he'd brought a handsome peach, a bunch of small but nice looking bananas and three different bunches of grapes. When Miliband told him to shove these, 5 a day, where the sun don't shine his face dropped (but he figured his missus could give a hand packing 'em in . . . ).
He wearily joined Gordon to discuss their fates.


Enterprising Tony returned much later, for he had scoured far and wide. Gordon almost suppressed a wry chuckle when he saw that he had brought with him a pineapple, prickly pear . . . the NHS IT programme and (insert whatever applicable) and (make your own assumptions) for he was vainglorious and sought to impress with the legacy of the fruits of his Labour (still, he could wipe up using the justifications for his wars in Iraq . . )

etc, etc, etc

New Labour - they won't like it up 'em/blow 'em out ya ass/this town needs an enema. . . . . etc. X