Many happy returns of the day . .

. . . Elizabeth, my dear.

l wouldn't want to spoil the party as obviously many of us enjoy the pageantry of the Royal occasion and it is a birthday after all. Although figures are set to change it seems that 'a reasonable crowd of some 20, 000 came to cheer the Queen and some '17,000 emails and 20,000 cards' were sent. Not to mention how many other countries, associations and individuals are duty bound to honour and promote this spectacle.

ln footballing terms that's pretty crap. An average side in the championship/premiership commands that (and is vastly more entertaining) and the original march against the war in lraq drew a sympathetic crowd of 1-2 million. As institutions go monarchies nowhere near get the attention, affection or passion of, say, football or even politics. The assumed collective 'we' - the people may have an affection for our monarchs and their charmed lives. A fact that will be beamed around the world and appear endlessly on TV and in the press. One young girl from West Yorkshire spoke affectionately of meeting the Queen (before and after as it seems), England football fans sing the national anthem (although am not sure whether it's all the way through - yet), etc, etc. (and quite possibly we wonder what it's like to lead such a pampered life).

Her majesty even drew a crowd out in Wakefield where she distributed maundy money to the deserving. At the time it caused something of an outcry in the local press when a set or two was sold off for some £70 (someone obviously preferring the real thing) and Mick Griffiths of the Socialist Party getting arrested for attempting to shake a collecting box in front of the Queen.

Our figureheads are not what they seem. The loyal and faithful cling on and attend to the duty of serving and promoting privilege whilst all around we, the people, see our jobs cut, wages curtailed and many a barrier put in the way of getting on with our lives - often by the same people.

But then, as Queen, Elizabeth Windsor must have a particularly awkward life. Sure the holidays, homes and retainers, etc is likely fantastic, but the endless formality, dutiful appearance and fawning attention must take its toll. Although given now that the Royal family are discussed in terms of tourist revenue as much as anything else it could be considered nice work if you can get it.

l associate myself with a tradition that had its Royal family executed and mashed up their bones. Although that was a long time ago and may have been grudge motivated. Our Royals don't serve the same function as the Romanovs did and merely rubber stamp the nations approval.

What is objectional is that normal people - the doers and makers - are treat so shabbily and this empty institution is upheld and paraded before us as something holier than thou and worthy of maintaining.




See/hear also -

BBC radio 5 live coverage
Most local press

www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0000687F4/103-8178019-9456643?v=glance&n=130

RRRRs

I love the countryside - its sights, smells and away from it allness. Having said that l think we give all this mud, trees, rocks, insects and animal life too much reverence - something we should see as a resource rather than something to be preserved as is and forever. Environmentalist thinking seeks to do just that - put a stop to real development and settle for, or hark back to, some imagined equilibrium with nature, minimize our footprint and then tread warily.

Wakefiled Metropolitan District Council's 4Rs campaign takes this up - reduce, re-use, recycle, repair.

I was brought up in a make-do-and-mend environment, grew to love the great outdoors, became a teenage vegetarian and avid reader of John Seymour's Self sufficiency books (1). Like many others, the great escape from the ratrace beckoned - if today it was the allotment then tomorrow it was most certainly a farflung croft. . .

. . . growing your own food, rearing your own livestock, the natural cycle and handicrafts. Idyllic, the work seemingly its own reward and the chance to sit on some red-skyed hilltop basking in some romantic oneness with it all at the end of a back-breaking day's toil. But then the quest to make it all work seemed to involve writing books for romantic urbanites with evermore ridiculous advice as to how to be more self sufficient.

Such pearls as chopping wood for fire is of double benefit as you get warm chopping it as well as burning it. And another being a way of getting free hot water on a sunny day - chopping the bottoms out of bottles, sliding these over a hosepipe with slow-running water passing through and goodbye gas bill. Other heating beauties were the use of woodburning stoves (no, not the trees!) or peat - erm? . . . ancient flora and fauna. In the end it all appears to be 'let's see how many things we can produce for ourselves' - self-sufficiency for the sake of it; a microcosm of life in one family plot, all very nice hard labour and getting nowhere fast. If ever subject to a risk assessment most allotments and smallholdings would be shut down. Although many an opening for insurance services, licensing and hot air carbon offsetting schemes.


The four Rs prove to be just as much romantic erm? . . . rubbish really.

For starters 'reduce' would seem to be at odds with the consumerist nature of even our uncertain society. We do like to shop and, considering Big Business is becoming unfashionable, retail looks to feature heavily in most's plans.

Even the most ardent environmentalist benefits from an abundance of consumer goods and services, most pay lipservice and are well stocked up even if it is with organic 'alternatives'.


'Recycle'

I hate rubbish. Kids casually dropping litter as they idle along their way, bad boy racers chucking MacDonalds/KFC/etc. packaging out of their car windows, man-made detritus strewn along river banks . . . . and the lack of bins in public places. The last point first noticed umpteen years ago in Leeds rail station. Nowhere to put an apple core. Pocket? Walk around with it in my hand until l find a bin? Yeah, right.
Noticing the same lack of bins in Wakefield Westgate station l was informed by a very dapper station attendant that bins were no longer provided due to Terrorism. Hmm . .

It gets worse, in London we have the anally retentive bin inspectors making sure us punters put our rubbish in the correct bin - or risk a hefty fine. Apparently someone recently received a £5o fine for putting a letter in a street litter bin and obstructing other litter. Some people ought to get proper jobs.

l do hate litter and am not opposed to recyclng per se. One of the last Tomorow's World programmes l saw featured a massive processing machine that with use of magnets, cyclones, blowers and filters, etc. seperated household wastes into a few basic elements, all of which were apparently useful. The technophobe l was thought that like the washing machine/tumble dryer combo of the time this was a snarl-up waiting to happen. True, they did and even full scale industrial processes have their breakdowns and hold-ups where one operation failure holds up the whole process - but also provides a chance to get ahead with other parts of the operation. Likewise modern machines like the car carry many interconnected operations; complex machinery works and even with down time is superior to previous operations.

Instead though recycling is done inefficiently in the home. Every process carried out indepently - washing, seperating, storing and transporting to the correct bin and arguably wastes more resources, time and energy than is saved by recycling.

And what of the end products? Aluminium (and possibly plastics and glass) maybe the only real candidate as all the other stuff is likely produced cheaper or more efficiently from raw materials. Much of the other stuff is recycled into material that then has to have a use found for it or is a compromise or expensive - and thus requiring our extra labour to purchase; our labours seemingly the only thing considered to be abundant.


Consider that all of the American waste of the 21st century will fit into a single landfill, using just 26% of Woodward County in Oregon. Of the entire US landmass, the landfill would take up about one-12,000th or less than 0.009 percent (2). That's America and without using other methods of waste disposal.

'Reuse' covers quite some remit - everything from our houses, body parts and materials. To the homeowner it can be any number of tips from Viz or erm . . women's mags. Anyone familiar with the hoarding of things that may come in handy will be blessed with sheds, attics and/or cellars full of things that can be repaired or used for something else. lf you can find, fix or match them up that is. Frustrating, arduous and inefficient.

The beachcomber/skiprats amongst us may pick up the odd find or draw some personal pleasure out of fixing something up or improving it. But then for that one there are plenty of others that disappoint, many an oddly patched up item and nothing matching.
lt is interesting being inventive but any product worth fixing usually becomes mass produced, has many forms and develops and older stuff becomes obsolete. The original intentions behind extending something's use being to make a saving become lost and the path taken becomes the focus.

Part of the argument seems to concern the cheapness of an item and its disposability, that nothing is built to last. . . .




tbc . . .

(1)http://www.wakefield.gov.uk/Environment/WasteServices/facts.htm

(2)http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0751364428/qid=1137940226/sr=1-2/ref=sr_1_3_2/026-8287842-2278834
http://homepage.eircom.net/~odyssey/Politics/Quotes/Lomborg.html
http://news.independent.co.uk/environment/article340238.ece
http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CA841.htm

No such word as can't

(Google 'Canute')

I'm smoking a fag . . . .

*
Never really considered myself to be a smoker until always making sure l had some on me (otherwise end up tapping).
There are many things that make me want to stop - morning 'dog-breath' (nothing beats it more than another fag), being out of breath on the football pitch if l've overdone it too recently, the cost in my impoverished state (extradoubly guilty when monies are owed) but the kickback came when signing on at my new doctors' surgery.
Amongst other questions were - how many cigarettes do you smoke?
At a guess 50-100 a week, but l don't really count.

This was viewed with some alarm by the practice nurse who went on to inform me that l would be a burden, particularly as l got older.
I was mildly apoplectic with this. Considering my own injuries (l'll spare you a full blokeish account) then they are all through work, sport and misadventure but likely par for the course and significantly less than what older generations put up with. For instance, there are very few people walking around with couldn't-stop-a- pig-in-a-ginnel legs or bent double retired binmen of yore. Ergo despite all the gripe we are doing quite well.

ln our productive lives and fag taxes we contribute plenty and on the whole don't mind doing so.

Further - l actually enjoy a fag. Not always, but then do we always enjoy football, sex, food, work or the company of our friends or family?

Fags are a small but significant part of my life - night out, breaktime, when writing this stuff and as offering to the god of late buses. They are an icebreaker in social situations; in fact, the most sociable people l know tend to be smokers - in the smoking carriage on trains there was a genuine easy-going camaraderie; almost a bond. This particularly now as we stand (huddled outside stations, etc) enjoying a defiant puff or two with anyone from scabby youth to old ladies, and my favourites - healthworkers, catering staff and, actually, business types. All of 'em really, and now semi-united in tacit recognition that we may be a dying breed. FKoff!


Band of smokers.

Smoking performs a variety of small tasks, often it seems to do with connectivity -

a last request and penultimate act of humanity at the firing squad,
troops in squalor making tabs out of teabags,
a peace offering after a petty squabble or run-in with a perp,
a sole light for an ex-inmate from a long term institution.

The fagtapper, friend-in-need-pain-in-the-arse or easy going bonhomie, sharing yours with those who are closest to society's arse-end, merely asking someone for a light - 'you hev fire?' of the immigrant worker, 'thanks, love' from the doll uptown, the please and thankyou, cheers and ta of it all - Smoking! the musical, perhaps.

Other people aren't all that bothered either by the scourge of the smoker. Sure, some have taken on their privilege to play oneupmanship, others recognise its use as a disciplining tool and many go along with the prevailing climate and succumb but people on the ground and in many pubs and clubs aren't all that bothered about the smokers evil habit.
Actually, when asked, as is the polite thing to do these days, people are quite civil (maybe always are but never really noticed - could be a sign of the times) and don't mind. Especially, for instance, when bus stops are cold, cramped and uncomfortable. One lady told me that she has never smoked but likes the smell which brought some ironic cheer.

l'd be happier if we smokers didn't leave our detritus everywhere but in amongst the rest of the trash, poor facilities, boarded up and degenerated social fabric then it's nuisance and odd charm is lazy rebellion.


What is perhaps more annoying is the continual barrage of public service broadcasts - truly antisocial and a pet hate. Uncomfortable stations with piss-poor toilets (alright when new but inadequately ventilated and disgusting in summer and aged. See Dewsbury bus station for details of the 'old' and Wakefield ought take note for the coming years).
What about accepting that people who occasionally smoke are actually civilised and provide ventilated areas? And proper ashtrays.

Some of the hardest working, get-on-with-it type people l know are or have been smokers - no big deal.
Of course not all the best people are smokers and smokers themselves do other things - there is no community of smokers, it's just that smoking is the easy target in the ongoing health war.

Smoking is stupid, irresponsible, a waste.
Smoking leads to the big C . .
. . smokers are cunts.


You can't say that.

It wouldn't surprise me if some environmentalist fag-hag or govt thinktank linked cigarette smoke with climate change. Factor in all the industry involved, alleged co2 emissions from growing plants and transport, etc. then it's enough to create an industry around or at least commission an audit.

l'd wager though that could be more than offset by the cumulative effect of various health and safety concerns output - itself a runaway monster of self-fulfilling function, a gold mine for the legal and advisory professions and a brake on forward motion in the wrong hands.

l've said previouly that we generally don't go about life or work attempting to injure ourselves and in our normal activies encounter what could, if broken down, become a health and safety nightmare of Matrix proportions . Ooh, all those hazards!
Butt stupid as we are we to tend to make our way through them, indeed, oblivious to the harm, potential trauma and terror around us, absorbed in our selfish, consumerist fug.


See -

Hmm . . .
Smoked
The smoking ban is shit
Pfff . . .

* Don't think so - some of the smokingest people come across are shag merchants. Though by no means all.



Pfff!

Smoking makes little sense when analysed objectively. Obviously physically unhealthy and not pleasant for the non-smoker in a smokey environment - tears used to stream from my eyes on the odd occasion visiting my Dad's Navy social club, ameliorated only by the then rare treat of ice cold lemonade and crisps. My first ever puff on a cigarette, from an uncle at Christmas time, left me puking up and brought forth howls of laughter from assembled relatives - 'that'll learn 'im!'.

And so it did. Like olives, sprouts, sex, alcohol and many others the youthful mind meets many a stepping stone in progression to adulthood. Once you get to find out that your bits are for more than pissing out of and a source of crude humour then all manner of things fall by the wayside. Alcohol, no longer the liquid sustenance of necessity, became a socialising brew of choice. Initially distasteful but perhaps a preparation for all the other rites of passage to maturity and things that are alien to the youthful mind.

There are of course modern fixes to smokey or other 'poor air' environments -

www.purennatural.com
www.truveo.com
www.tornex.com
www.sharp.ca/products/ion/video.html
www.smokefreesystems.com
www.guardiantechnologies.com

Info provided by Bill Gibson of freedom2Choose

Rethinking Earth.

Bad Days?

Quite enjoyed BBC2s Meltdown and was encouraged most of the way through. l nearly even dropped my bacon sarnie when they brought on the Danes and all the talk of longer glaciers, ie. we've been here before, the climate changes for whatever reason and conflating the two our Viking forebears coped and part got us where we are today. What would a contemporary Viking do today? I'd say the cnutters anongst them would be eyeing up the planets. When you consider their technology and the conditions and then consider ours today then it ought make us wonder. There may have been some berserkers amongst them but l dare say the odd clever bastard.

Instead today we're incontinent with fear; the skies falling in and it's all our fault, we're in for some very stormy weather and can't go on as we are, etc.
The name should have given it away really - Meltdown; and l was expecting gloom. After what appeared an objective opening, the final third of the programe seemed to go slightly awol all of a sudden and take up a less optimistic view. It seemed to read too much into just 2000 years of human history, skipped over changes in how climate has been recorded, didn't allow for the fact that we are still developing our understanding of the world and superimposed the perceived effects of the industrial revolution into one hockey stick when there have been quite relatively sudden changes in the earth's climate over it's existence as much as the longer gradual ones and anomalies within them. Whole species and life forms have been wiped out and the conditions for others have arisen, continents have shifted and so what if the earth and indeed heavens move?

Maybe we should get back to calling the planet The World as it is far more than just 'earth'. And likewise the solar system - various other planets and things we don't even know about yet and couldn't possibly imagine with our current navel-gazing, backward looking and anal retentive outlook - liquids, solids, gases, detritus, maybe even other forms of life.
But then no real spirit of adventure anymore?

Not seemingly so amongst our western leaders. l hope the east does rise; if l could draw cartoons l'd have a Hyundai Moonweekender c/w bumpersticker saying 'the other pod's a Honda' flying past a clapped out spaceshuttle. One day spaceshuttles may even be the equivalents of Volkswagen camper vans and the preserve of doom-mongering, unwashed space-hippies - "No! stoppit - you'll destroy the universe!'

That's not to say that the The World is doomed and we need to get off it. It will likely resemble something different over the following millenia; whatever. Even at todays worst predictions of, l think, a 70 metre rise in sea level there would still be a huge amount of land available; and if it was warm as well then hello watersports and new environment. And if it gets cold we have the technology. . . .
That's assumed of course that any of these worse-case scenarios bear out. Given that these are various hypothesis based on unknown unknowns and a liberal splash of doom and gloom mongering then the outome is likely to be more of the same.
Others have said that these bleatings merely add to the catalogue of gloom and misery everywhere - SARS, birdflu, asteroids, obesity, smoking, pervs, paedos and other assorted weirdos and god only knows what else can be summonsed.


So what if our activities effect the planet? Part of discovery and enterprise is dealing with side effects and quantifying their importance and if necessary developing the means to deal with them. Usually we find that other innovations come as a result. Further than that though is the recognition that if we can effect such things as climate by accident then we can also do so by design.

If it really was the case that we are heading for a catastrophe of our own making then surely the most powerful people on earth, the great and the good, would hold a moratorium of sorts and discuss the most beneficial way to take things forwards.

Oh, they are trying/ Those who cry Kyoto . . .

They talk of leaving a legacy for future generations, a cleaner, more habitable environment and a vision of heaven on earth whilst all the time telling us that we're hellbound if we don't mend our ways. This is a time standing still argument and one that is not likely to arm our future generations with the capacities to deal with a world that has, is and will change and sometime may even die out.
That doesn't mean humanity has to though, which arguably it would if the current argument was taken to its logical conclusion.

Many others have said todays pessimistic outlook likely originates from the elite (?) running out of steam. Yet seeing as how it's business as normal and there are bills to pay and all of the rest of it this doom-mongering effects all of our actions, how business operates or not and represents a pitiful legacy.

Our future generations may look back on this period as one when the western world entered a dark age of its own choice rather than one that put humanity at the forefront and heralded a brighter future. As such climate change represents an apt metaphor for the ever decreasing circles that our leadership set out for us but also themselves.


Meltdown? Read on -

(1)http://www.bbc.co.uk/sn/hottopics/climatechange/programmes1.shtml
(2)http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/4753876.stm

F*cking Welsh!*

The Welsh Qualifications, Curriculum and Assessment Authority has decided that 'intimate physical contact' is to be ruled out with regards to schoolplays - just in case anyone gets any ideas. I never read Romeo and Juliet at school but did experiment with Lorraine Ferriday under the table, likewise I gawped at Andrea Belkus' mottle- skinned chest (just because it was 'rude' most probably (5-6 yrs old or thereabouts).

Like most other living creatures we are likely genetically programmed to be attracted to the opposite sex (unless you're a slug or something). And a good job really, considering. Further, our own life experiences prove that a) babies come from ladies and b) men have something to do with them getting there. The former becomes apparent by the lady in bloom and the latter - 'all the mucky stuff that we don't talk about' but do, thankfully. My innocent enquiries as to why is that lady so fat copped for a clip 'round the ear - people were likely even more uptight back then.

It seems mighty strange that this most animal of instincts is sought to be codified, certificated, given a clean bill of health and hidden . . . . sometimes.

Even the great and the good will use whatever 'appeal' they have hence - Tony '5 times' (one often wondered why the missus seems to walk sideways).

Call me a prude - porn, eroticism and the like have their place but the act itself - one of intimacy - suggests that it is no one else's business other than those involved. As novelty in drama it titillates, too much and it's commonplace, gratuitous and boring. There's no doubt that emotion and portrayal of intimate acts are fundamental to drama but I wouldn't fancy some great Dionysian sexual-gymnastic display. Maybe I am a prude.

Others have chortled at this bout of political correctness and rightly so. Kids aren't stupid yet this latest notion treats them so - and everyone else.

Where will it end?



(*I have enjoyed many visits to Wales.)

Something rotten in Islam?

Whatever the reasons for the Jutland Post's publication of 'offensive' imagery in the form of what are really some quite crappy cartoons (proving that whatever else the Danes make they probably don't do the best cartoons in the world) it does add to the discussion of Religion. If I were a muslim I'd be offended at worst or perhaps disappointed. If I had true belief in my religion then I'd probably pity the infidel and his philistine ways. But then if I lived in the land of the infidel and enjoyed the benefits of innovation in all forms then I may question what my religion says and how people interpret it. As such there are as many varying interpretations of Islam as Christianity.

Others have said that religion is meant to be a way of being good, at its most simple interpretation, and one that no-one should really have complaint with. However, in practice, this covers anything within a very wide remit - being squeaky clean and expecting others to be also, praying that nothing bad will befall your family or friends or those in faraway places, the capitalist kerching of religious businessmen (the lord helps those who help themselves), claiming that however badly your voters think of you then at least you'll have a go at twisting the arm of the almighty (although He didn't elect you). Maybe I'm paraphrasing, but then l wouldn't be the only one.

There is no more Unity in Faith than there is a true Muslim Brotherhood or that I see eye-to-eye with my own brothers or colleagues; or for that matter amongst our own communities (of whatever description). All these things imply a muted desire for something to unify us but based on what?

Can 'Our Muslim Brothers' really have that much to complain about? Not really it would seem, not as far as the cartoons go.
In the west we lampoon pretty much everything - everything from the weakest to mightiest, man-made* or not. At its most basic it is a critique, it finds chinks in the armour. It can slap the hypocritical false prophet around the face or punch one square on and undermine the lot. Humour itself is even used to get The Lord's message across or to laugh at those deemed to be against one's faith. Our muslim friends are as guilty here as they make out our Danish cousins to be.

Are we to suppose that images of Allah's name in arabic appearing in everything from fruit and fish to cloud formations are miraculous apparitions yet scorned when they appear in bastard form in trainers or even the inverted wisps of a coffee advert? What god is this that writes his name everywhere yet denies us imagery, enquiry and progress? Likewise it's likely the case that all manner of hidden words, scripture, pictures and messages can be read into any object. Are they signs?
What if the sign said something disagreeable? or appeared on a pig?, is it the mysterious workings of Allah? (1)

The most offensive of the cartoons - those depicting Allah or Mohammed as terrorists and thus having a swipe at the whole notion of Islam can be said to be disagreeable but no more so than claiming that ranting mullahs endorsing jihad represent all muslim opinion or that Allah's name appearing on a fish has any more relevance than Elvis' image appearing on a slice of toast.

l find the idea that any religion can forbid the graven image (from engraved ie. man-made) truly offensive. I'd assumed previously that it was the 'craven image' until reading Anila Baig in The Sun newspaper (2) - " . . (T)he Muslim religion FORBIDS hand-drawn pictures of any person or animal. It might sound old-fashioned and alien but this was laid down by our Prophet to stop idol worship.
Islam is not the only religion that forbids pictures. Christians and Jews also had the same restriction and the second Commandment tells followers not to make any graven images."

Going out on a limb here l'd say some 84.2% of muslims (and any other faith for that matter) that have ever put pen to paper are probably 'guilty' of graven imagery or have benefitted from them. At its most fundamental it denies progress in medical science, human and animal biology, art, fashion and expression - quite a large chunk of what makes us who we are. And likely fundamental to whether faith is put in humanity or the workings of some higher hand inasmuch as only God knows the answers and humans cannot or shouldn't ought to.




(Links to follow)

(1)www.miraclesofislam.com
*Man as per Balderdash and Piffle 'M'. In Old English, the word 'man' meant 'human' and did not become gender-specific until much later. Moreover, it goes back thousands of years to Sanskrit, and (rather wonderfully) is cognate with the same root as the word 'mind'. (Wording lifted from http://carlanayland.blogspot.com/2006/01/balderdash-and-piffle-tv-review.html)
(2)http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006050636,,00.html

No nukes?

What possible legitimacy can western officials now have in their efforts to bring other countries into line?

Iran's peaceful or otherwise development of nuclear technology seems to be a bridge too far for our current crop of leaders.
But surely what is being missed is all that is positive about developments in nuclear power. To quote Jeremy Paxman (Newsnight, 16th January (1) 'Iran is floating on oil' so, why the interest in another energy resource?

Why not? Oil may be abundant in Iran (the world's 4th largest supplier) but what self respecting country would want all it's eggs in one basket? Why not Iran use it's current wealth to invest in what ought to be one of the most exciting developments in power supply? Oil may be plentiful, but it won't last for ever. It is also limited in future oriented applications ie. spaceflight and going ever further. There are many other uses for nuclear applications - medicine, for instance.

Western leaders have got the jitters over Iran and their bold defiance.
In Colin Powell (et al)'s opinion Iran could develop Nuclear weapons. Given the level of interfering by the US and others it would hardly be surprising should Iran desire to protect itself. Or, indeed, to spout off over Israel - not uncommon amongst middle eastern regimes and many that have been on the receiving end of western sponsored (or ignored) Israeli attack.

Many have commented on the Iraqi debacle and the all-too-willing coalition's poor handling of every aspect of it. This unfinished business should be what our government's are held to account over before they even dare threaten another country.

And lay off the sport as the beginning of the slippery sanctions slope. Sport should perhaps be a unifying element and celebration of human physical skill and prowess and not a political football used at the whim of dodgy politicians - hands off!

A positive case for the development of nuclear power would be better for international relations.

Of further interest -

(1)http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/4617704.stm
http://www.newstatesman.com/nslibrary?qs=iran&x=9&y=10

For Zoe

The case of a 12 year old girl supposedly commiting a devious crime against a 5 year old boy hurtled around the world and was relayed to people throughout a bewildered community before anyone on the ground got to hear what really happened. 'Attempted murder!' screamed most headlines and the court of public opinion was being cast come teatime. (1)

Given the level of coverage of the story and the venom hurled at the young girl surely the media and official line must be true? In the days and weeks following the case being made public typing in 'Earlsheaton hanging' into a Google search revealed many entries for papers around the globe - all with the same (associated press?) tagline stringing the girl up. Go to internet chat forums about the case and the discussion largely follows the same thread - ' she is evil, her parents must be wasters, what kind of community allows such a thing to happen?, what is the world coming to?' and so on. (2)

More to this than meets the eye? - quite possibly so. However, initial contacts didn't look good. Some two weeks after the event first broke I asked a couple of older teenagers from the area what they thought about it. Not good - 'she's an evil cow and she should be locked up' came the reply. Punters in the local pubs no longer wanted to talk about it - they were sick of having intrusions into their private lives and having their words twisted around and used against them - the girl, her family and the wider community all held up to be in a state of moral degeneracy and confidences betrayed.

Ongoing reports in the media talked of the park where the incident occured as an area where gangs of 'feral youth' caused mayhem. Yet 3-4 trips revealed the usual park activities - dog walkers, parents and children and 'gangs' of kids all enjoying usual park like activities. Sure, there had been the odd spot of vandalism but the park largely served it's function well and is definitely not a no-go area.

A 19 yr. old youth, wrapped up warm for a cold evening, said the area could do with lighting up to make it safer; so that such things do not happen again. Suspicion? In that case maybe he should be wary of talking to strangers in raincoats in dark parks and I should avoid hoodied and baseball-hatted youth in the same - who knows what might happen? A better case for lighting up the park would be to extend its use in winter time.

The best news came from talking to the groups of scattered cherubs that presumably make up this 'feral youth'. Quite an encouraging picture of youth culture emerged. Yes there was the odd fallout amongst friends, the general ribbing and mickey-taking but all kiss and make up stuff, and par for the course.

I asked whether there was bullying but the kids generally looked after each other and nothing much really goes amiss. Here was where the young lady really scored her points. Any kid has their detractors and one or two did have their disagreements but the overwhelming impression was that this 'evil young girl' was actually quite well liked and despite her personal problems (seeing her mother die suddenly on Xmas day 2004 for one) reasonably well balanced. She stood her ground when cornered and defended her mates when they were picked on, she would share her school dinner amongst her friends if they had forgotten their money and so forth. Hardly evil then.

It further transpires that she would study at home and even set herself extra work. Steve, her father, says she runs rings around him with her abilities. He was reluctant to say too much given the character assasination of his daughter and self - a quiet and tidy man who, when gardening on a hot day and enjoying a beer, saw himself labelled an alcoholic in the media. He hasn't bought a paper since and rarely watches the news and, even rarer, dare have a drink. Him, his daughter and the community want no more bad press and hope that this will all blow over so they can get on with rebuilding their lives. He speaks to his daughter daily on the phone and despite everything they are ok, if not slightly sullen. It's an extremely humbling experience to hear him talk of things not being so bad now - that he can see his daughter without counselling services being present.

There is not much good feeling within the wider community towards the family of the boy involved. Close and friendly neighbours, perhaps, but after taking their thirty pieces o' silver and scarpering off to a new life most in the area feel that the guilty party has been let off the hook - chat rooms, opinion pieces and workplaces laying into this party perhaps unfairly too. Comments ask how come a small boy can wander off and end up in such a situation? Yet given what I've found out about the community he seems to be largely in safe hands and it is some testimony to the companionship within such a place that he can do so.He has recovered from his 'ordeal' and 'injuries'. So much that he was back out playing soon after all the fuss and was lastly reported wishing he had a girlfriend. Clearly then, not put off the fairer sex.

The young lady has quite a good reputation amongst her peers and the neighbourhood, even in her unwarranted absence. Everyone hopes things will blow over and get back to 'normal', yet she has a blot on her character and possibly something that will lurk at the back of her mind and undermine her.

From what has been found out from people that genuinely know her she does have tremendous character and allowed herself to carry the can in a case that never should have been. The facts of the case as presented do not seem to match up to reality - perhaps the real reason why it took some nine attempts to get a truth to fit the billing?

And also allowed a lot of grown ups to make themselves look big.

The worst 'crime' that this young lady has done was to have a child's game or prank go maybe that little bit too far - everyday childhood experiences where boundaries are learnt naturally. In this case it was the girl herself who sorted the boy out after his ordeal - she bought him a drink and, apparently, called for an ambulance. In the mainstream media this was reported as bribery. After their shenanigans the word hypocrisy springs to mind.

No doubt offered counselling by 'concerned' authorities so she can come to terms with her 'defects'. Maybe it's their heavy handed and shameful approach that needs re-examining.

After all - they started it.


See also -

(1)http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=daily+mirror+earlsheaton+hanging&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
(2)http://www.onlinearsenal.com/forums/printthread.php?t=5208&pp=40
http://www.thesims.co.uk/forum/printthread.php?t=14699
These views are typical apart from the immediate locale.
(3)Very good reporting can be found in the 7th. October 2005 edition of The Press (Dewsbury paper) , email news@dewsburypress.co.uk
(4)http://www.westyorkshire.police.uk/section-item.asp?sid=12&iid=1568
(5)http://www.instituteofideas.com/publications/index.html - 'Who's antisocial? New Labour and the politics of antisocial behaviour'.
ASBOs: Politicians behaving badly http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CA9C0.htm

What's working?

It seems a bit rich the government launching another review of the benefit system and hassling the unemployed. Sure, everyone should work and that work should be beneficial, progressive and rewarding and maybe people shouldn't be 'wasters'. Ok, notwithstanding the usual antagonisms of the employer/employee relationship and some utopian vision of a better society then surely official ideology should be held up to more scrutiny?

Whilst far eastern economies are beginning reaping the rewards of progressive development the angst of our western leaders stifles much that is forward. Itself mocking New Labour's slogan 'Forwards, not back' and, indeed, 'Thiiings can only get bettter'.

Yeah, right, it would be hilarious if the consequences weren't likely to be disastrous. Britain is stuck in the mud and our leaders seem to like wallowing in it or being beholden to the stuff (mayan rebirthing and environmentalism (1).

UK industry is in a right state - it cannot use the talents of the workforce properly, is mired in reams of bureaucracy (what happened to saving the rainforest?) and 'real' jobs are losing out to low skilled work or growth in layers of admin.

The benefit system is not one that offers a decent existence and to some could be a cop out but given that the powers that be seem to be doing their utmost to hamper everything progressive maybe they should give themselves a looking over while they are at it.

What are our MPs for anyway? (2)

Of further interest -
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/programmes/newsnight/4617308.stm
http://www.instituteofideas.com/transcripts/policywatch12.pdf

Cheap shots -
(1)http://www.newhumanist.org.uk/volume118issue2_comments.php?id=8_0_2_0_C
(2)http://www.wakefieldtoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=702&ArticleID=1308889

(Actually) Cider with Rosie

Google's earth programme is a must see - highly recommended. Words almost fail me. You can type in anywhere - I've just relived my youth @ po13 0ll.

Enjoy yourselves.


http://earth.google.com/

Happy christmas?

http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=2387532005

Review (sort of): The politics of fear: beyond left and right.

This review does not intend to provide a complete insight into this book but merely covers the parts recalled or that caused myself to think of what the author's message is.
Much of Furedi's work once read and seemingly not absorbed at the time has a tendency to creep up on you - Mythical past, elusive future, for example (1). It has resonance and I am a fan though would not call myself a sycophant. Yes, I'd buy him a pint and maybe even ask for an inspirational quote in a book. I even considered nominating a spot in Prospect's leading intellectual poll. Though am sure he wouldn't appreciate an enamel badge being struck.

To those familiar with Furedi's work a significant part of the book covers ground that has been issued in essay form - perhaps an unbeknownst recognition of the fact that there is a great deal of competition for our attentions (2) and he is inadvertently accommodating to this. Books most definitely have their uses but in a fast paced world where lies travel around the world before teatime then information of worth needs presenting in many forms. In this though his early essays serve to soften up the reader before the book proper. Perhaps academic training on the sly?

In this I must apologise to many an author for an often scant recall of their works. Sometimes it's a mere passage or sentence that hits home. A key one in The politics of fear is when that shibboleth of the left is probed - religion. Advocating the devil mayhaps? It does sort out the fakers from the makers (one day I'll grow out off this but for now it's lubricant) and makes a wannabe consider what they are on about. In a non polarised but fragmented society it could also offer something of a key to newer engagements and thinking.

The ending session at the Battle of Ideas (3) event provided a spirited and reasonably anglo-saxon rejoinder* against this point. Some dissenters maybe missing out that the event seemed aimed at analysing the strengths of contemporary ideas and how we begin to deal with them. Maybe I'm astray here as my mind was, as always, preoccupied with other matters.
The range, calibre and quality of contributors was impressive enough to make the inquisitive question themselves and maybe attempt a gearchange. Dare we take the first step? A willingness to study and challenge one's own thoughts and motivations? Perhaps then an ability to remain focused in debates and rise above bar room banter?

I think so. I had a humbling experience observing the sixth form debate re sustainable architecture - a subject I really ought to be able to talk about by now. A couple of teenagers revealed a reasonable enough grasp of their subject to offer a confident and commanding delivery. The fact that I disagreed with their views, and worse - they hoped to become members of the legal profession, was alarming. I wanted to offer my twopenceworth but couldn't. Not very full vessel requires filling.

Getting back to the book -

The phrase pre-political also interests and seems somewhat ambivalent for aren't the problems we are dealing with those of a state actually in some disarray? Whose adherents lack a positive message and latch onto any bandwagon going to score points, comfortable in the knowledge that rivalries just aren't what they were. Whether new kid on the block, Cameron, can prove up to the task is debatable and better commentators have raised this. If perhaps he mounted a strong case for investment in development and industry rather than the stifling growth in bureacracy under Labour then I may even vote. I've done worse, albeit with no illusions.

Our politicians are daily ridiculed for the most part. There are maybe good ones amongst them but it seems to be something of a quagmire. The ridicule part is the easy bit but as a strategy makes poor politics. There is perhaps an element of fiddling while Rome burns; UK politics desperately in need of a volte-face and, on the surface at least, not getting one. One wouldn't profess expertise at any level but all projections thus far have proved optimistic and selfcongratulatory obscuring the fact that there are quite big problems ahead on current track. How to turn that around seems beyond their ken.

How long before the pre-political becomes Political and to what extent is it necessary, in particular, for the UK?


(1)http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0745305318/qid=1134624695/sr=1-1/ref=sr_1_0_1/026-0715067-7125224
http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAD5B.htm
(2) At 169 pages and for less than the price of a reasonable evening's entertainment there are few - if any - excuses for not reading and discussing such a book.
(3)http://www.battleofideas.co.uk/
*http://thesaurus.reference.com/search?q=rejoinder
For the aspiring radical a reading of Norman Geras' The legacy of Rosa Luxemburg further illuminates this book. Although by no means discussing the same circumstances.

More thoughts on dancing . . . .

(Got some Edith Piaf duet on at the mo' (pass the tissues) *

(' A life lived in fear is a life half-lived' from Strictly Ballroom. pff!)

I've always loved dancing. From being a kid in the juniors and getting all excited about clutching Maria Jarvis's sweaty palms in scottish country dancing to dancing like a complete twat to happy hardcore (how old are ya? It was a rite of passage for my daughter and I must admit it did put a smile on my face) or even back in my teenage years when dancing meant exploding.

My interest was rekindled when a few years ago I read of a Tango event held in a park in that there London, apparently held over two separate weekends. The first weekend attracted some 400 but for the second, when it rained, 200 turned up and danced under umbrellas. Sweet.
I later came across an article on salsa holidays and classes mentioning that there was a shortage of willing fellas - get yourself forward, lad.

Initially something just to get out of the house and loosen off salsa became something else, something that I had to work at - it took six weeks just to learn to mambo. The feet just don't want to go in them places but it makes sense when you see how the moves unfold. The breakthrough came when some spanish people came to the class and their feet were all over the place - not like us mechanical english clompers and bobbers.

Then there was the flamenco weekend at West Yorkshire College of dance. Just me and some thirty ladies - woof! I must admit I did feel a bit of a pillock, especially when I caught sight of myself in the mirror being all graceful. No doubt the lads building outside in the cold on the cherrypicker must have had a laugh but this was saturday and it was no 'Y.M.C.A'.

It's a tough job, but someone's gotta do it. . . .


Go dancing!

Like many recently (I think it was Zoe Ball's hip movement on an ad that finally drew me in) I've become a bit of an addict of Strictly come dancing (1). I'm loving seeing fat yorkshire lad Goffy enjoying himself so much - most of 'em really. In fact as soon as he and the charming Lilia hit the floor I actually voted (being fairly merrie at the time I also voted for a couple of others but to make sure gave The Dazzler another. This is some going for someone who doesn't like the idea of charidee.)

For me the show is too audience focussed. I'd like to see the dancers dancing for no-one else but themselves. Methinx this is something that besets all these kind of shows - the crowd and judge pleasing that encourages a degree of superficiality lacking at club level. I get the impression that the celeb dancers seem constrained having to hold their heads at awkward angles - maybe I just lack finesse. It does seem to put them under added pressure.

And please - get closer! Anyone can be a three minute hero so to dance with someone for two like you are one shouldn't be too hard. And Zoe Ball ought to ease up on the cheese. (rearange book, leaf, ect (sic) Perhaps hubby could knock up a dance track? - naw . . . .

Talking of which, I was wondering who else they could have in the series - Keith from Prodigy? Roy Keane? Go on, break a leg. What about a flamenco face-off? Hmm.


And I do like Anton wotsisface.

Best quote of the show so far? Julian Clary: 'I'm sure he'll pull something out of the bag', which is a tad cheeky even by his standards. (Ok, and CJ's 'You filthy minx!')


(1)http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=strictly+come+dancing&btnG=Google+Search&meta=

*(Finishes off with 'ain't misbehavin' ' via 'On a little street in Singapore' - very nice.)

Lost in music.

Muzak schmoozak - I love it and enjoy everything in it's place. Anything from classical music (granted mainly from adverts and incidental music but would go to one of them hamper and blanket on the ground events. Champagne? cheers. Schmoke? don't mind if I do, etc, . . . )

And back off on The Smiths (ya cnuts!) - anyone who can write such gems as -

'' . . If a ten ton truck* kills the both of us
to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die . . .
There is a light and it never goes out (etc)'' - gets my vote.

Morrisey writes some beautiful lyrics. I prefer them as irony and couldn't care less what he is on about overall. Meat is murder sucks (in a dark corner of my mind I have a remix c/w chainsaw, chickens** and whatever else I can pen. If anyone gets there before me then I'd like a cut.)
Viva Hate? - I'd buy that for a $1.
(Good at being miserable but you wouldn't want too much in one go. Go one on yourself you mourngy git and do 'happy talk')

How often have any of us been disappointed by an offering from a favoured artist? Often the words I've been singing for ages turn out to not be the same as those on the sleeve, and then some - ''You saw Sir Winker?''. Quite.

As a salsa dancer non. . . (etc) I enjoy many a track that I haven't the faintest clue what they are on about - Los bomberos, Dos gardenias por amor, Dos cervethas por favor - they could be singing about a bunch of fascist chicken-plucking nuns for all I care (hmm? - this remix may even have a video).

Simply read?

Some words are better left unspoken or perhaps best not committed to a blog. However, in a time-honoured tradition of dodgy footwork and in the spirit of defending the incomprehensible I'll put my hand up and admit to having enjoyed - (oh no!) Happy hardcore. To those who don't know this has got to be quite simply the daftest music about - not big or clever but then it doesn't pretend to be either.
Sped up music, lyrics about magic carpets, rainbows and other escapist bollocks abound all brought together by an enlivened m/c - full chat and rarely the voice of an angel but often uplifting.

Don't go there, no really, don't . . . . . oohhhh go on then. One really shouldn't make an arse of one's self but when in Rome (Milton Keynes, actually, and erm? . . Luton, Elephant and Castle, etc (some bons mots really are left private) make like a Roman. One meets quite a cross section of people - not just yer tabloid-typical wild-eyed raver.
Dressed up warm for the night and pleasantly conversational adult chaperones (one even reading her Mills and Boon!), muscle-bound squaddies out on RnR, an athlete who told me it was the best workout she ever gets, and, hand on heart christianly clean, naturally aspirated - respect.

Then of course there's the rest of england's finest - council house asbo-fodder, m/c bad boy racers and lots of oddly cute, pigtailed skippy young ladies. Any of the Birkenhead crew in? watch your stereo. A lonng time since I went - probably satnavs or, heaven forbid, the whole jalopy now. Snakes are often spotted a mile off. As are mugs and dodgy security guards. Methinx we all know who we are.


My good daughter's inauguration into a life less ordinary came when, I figured, if she was gonna go experiment in life's wonderfully rich bounty then I may as well make sure that I could assist her if things went tits up, as it were.
And we all fall down from time to time.
(Hands up anyone who hasn't publicly gaffed - Cherie Blair? pff! - ''When I get older . . '' - I rest my case. I'd maybe spin her in the middle of the floor but karaoke? naw (2). What about the lifestyles of the rich and famous ? Looking at them, can you really blame us? They know how to unwind from a day down at the factory - are You really telling me how to bring my kids up? (leaf, book . .) (3)

Back to the . .

We actually never thought we'd get in what with us being rave virgins 'n' all. But some very kind people helped us along the way - people I'll always remember. And as an opener - m/c Junior with Force and Styles belting out 'So glad you made it' as we walked in. ***

I'll be back . . coffee, fagbreak and Carmel's The Falling on the box (available at all good stores and in time for . . erm? whateveritscalled)



* It may have been a double decker bus (Routemaster even - catch 'em while you can http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAEBF.htm
** Bugger all to do with Bird flu!!
(2) http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=when+i+get+older+cherie+blair&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
(3)http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=euan+blair&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Straw_(politician)
***Actually, l made that bit up - it's what l sang to my brood after gaining entry.
(4)One off the cuff. I thought I talked bollocks but this guy can certainly big up the little issue http://www.pm.gov.uk/output/Page8123.asp



RnR ptII: press the eject . . .

Not really wanting to make any more of a song and dance of it (as there are other things to do) but amongst all the badinage there were some inspirational words -

'If I can do it; so can you'. Unknown m/c. It made me more determined to get out of a hole, of sorts.

That's enough of that - off to work.

b b b b b but(t) . . . .

There was a scotsman, englishman and another scotsman who got caught out on the land of the DefraMyarsi. High prince Usurpa Miliband was furious that they had footprinted on his sacred 'land fit for heroes' (!?!) and sent them out to get him 5 samples of fruit whilst he thought of their punishment.

First back was canny scot, Gordon; he'd been frugal in his efforts and brought back 5 juniper berries.
Miliband told him he had to shove 5 of these up his ass everyday. Gordon, sweaty, shaken but a little relieved, mopped his brow and realised he could manage that.

Next to return was earnest Ed; he'd brought a handsome peach, a bunch of small but nice looking bananas and three different bunches of grapes. When Miliband told him to shove these, 5 a day, where the sun don't shine his face dropped (but he figured his missus could give a hand packing 'em in . . . ).
He wearily joined Gordon to discuss their fates.


Enterprising Tony returned much later, for he had scoured far and wide. Gordon almost suppressed a wry chuckle when he saw that he had brought with him a pineapple, prickly pear . . . the NHS IT programme and (insert whatever applicable) and (make your own assumptions) for he was vainglorious and sought to impress with the legacy of the fruits of his Labour (still, he could wipe up using the justifications for his wars in Iraq . . )

etc, etc, etc

New Labour - they won't like it up 'em/blow 'em out ya ass/this town needs an enema. . . . . etc. X

(Some thoughts on sex, dancing, porn and ladies.)

Sex is everywhere. At a basic level it exists as the animal within us all - men and ladies. My good self - as a red-blooded male cannot help but be enchanted by the ladies.

As an occasional salsa dancer non extraordinaire one can and does get away with murder on the dancefloor.

With odds ranging anything from 5 ladies to one gent (ha ha) and up then every joe average prepared to have a good time can be almost John Travolta.

Formula is -

* tidy up fellas but don't worry too much as you'll never get out of the house. Put your best food forward and relax.
* dress as you see fit. Chances are if you're gonna have a go then you'll loosen up. Relax.
* Lynx if you're that kind of guy (1)
* couple of stiff shandies
* wallet, fags, chewing gum, charm.
* Go.

If you're out of practice then it's best to loosen up with a) a stiff drink, b) say hello to people you vaguely remember and c) the warm up lesson.
And fellas, get in close - too many dance at arm's length as if we might catch something. Sheesh! it's supposed to be an 'intimate' dance and yes, it's a contact sport but it's not marriage. Relax! Listen to the music and don't go mad with your feet - best take short steps. If you watch freestyle then the feet are all over the place, some shake, gyrate, pause and body pop. Attitude and rhythm are king - hey nonny no it ain't.

One of my favourite tricks is to hit the floor spinning but usually sending my partner on doing erm? . . . a man's turn, grab her as if she is taking the lead, chuck in a couple of cross body leads from the wrong side and then let go into some freestyle messing about just to let them know what they're dealing with.

In salsa (meaning sauce/spice it up ie. not pasta) as in most types of dancing the male role is the lead. For the new starter this can be quite daunting keeping time, opening the moves, keeping it interesting and enjoying yourself all at the same time and this often with a partner who knows more than you.
Us Englishmen don't like to do poofy stuff like dancing so since the GIs left the sisters pretty much have to do it for themselves. They can anyway. One woman in a class completely led a routine from her 'secondary' position unbeknownst to her and I didn't have a clue. Ginger Rogers said words to the effect of doing everything he (Fred Astaire) does backwards and in high heels (2).

Unfortunately some women insist on being led so really one ought to learn some basic moves. However, there being more of them than us then they get what they're given. If you get one that carries on a bit then give her a slap . . . no, that's something else. If it doesn't work then fair enough she can always dance with her mates.

Dancing is best learnt face to face. A book can be handy for back up but is unneccesary in the long run. Although reading the background to the Argentine Tango you find there was a surfeit of men particularly in and around Buenos Aires and that they had to dance with each other. Excuse me? Blokes dancing with blokes? You're having a laugh, mate. (3)

Not so in the UK, well not up north anyway. Thankfully we can all talk about football and other manly things instead. A night out in The 'merrie citie' of Wakefield (pre and post 'let's get tough on drinkers' campaign) often resembles something of a cattle market or zoo. There's a lot of mingling and gazing, whatever but often it's groups of lads ogling the ladies and progressively viewing the night through beer glasses.
There's more to it than that of course; it depends on who you are and what you go for.


'Pretty women out walking with gorillas . . .'

At a salsa class or event us average Joe's get to dance with ladies of all shapes, sizes, ages, colour, nationality, class and intellect. It can be overwhelming in amongst all those ladies wanting to dance with a limited supply of partners and you can find yourself 'hot property'. You don't realise it but an arrogance can develop - subtle or otherwise, maybe an element of charm. Who knows, you might even start to scrub up.

Over time though you may get to see the ladies in a different light. You may find a partner if that's what you want but you can also get a finer appreciation of women on one level (not compulsory).

The man to woman ratio can lead to the man getting a puffed up sense of his own importance - something of a prima donna outlook. Although the moment when you think you're the greatest dancer is usually that before your biggest cock-up.

However, you can always wing it. My favourite music is uptempo, loose, brassy latin as it is very forgiving with mistakes. One partner went flying over one of my two left feet only for me to catch her, swing her around 180 degrees and carry on dancing. She thought it was amazing. (I do it all the time, love.)
It would be nice though to do it properly.
Ken can. Women that dance with Ken, a big fella, talk as though they have been on a white knuckle ride and more - some say that their feet hardly touch the ground. He is confident, strong and more to the point has got excellent timing and can dance. And I hate him.


(1)http://www.unilever.co.uk/ourbrands/personalcare/lynx.asp
(2)http://www.reelclassics.com/Teams/Fred&Ginger/fred&ginger.htm
(3)http://totango.net/sergio.html



Porn.

What red-blooded male doesn't appreciate the female form? (Intellect is a different attraction. Here we are talking about 'basic instincts').

Porn is readily available in any format, shape or size. Apart from the nether regions of the market the vast majority of porn is dominated by the female form and aimed at men.
Everyday titillation is provided by the red tops. The Daily Star and Daily Sport (UK newspapers) are often low core porn mags and one doesn't mind admitting to having one's interest aroused but after 3 or 4 pages of the stuff it becomes pretty ordinary. It may make the day go around for some but it seems to be an escape in itself or a delusion.
Surely after the umpteenth spread, awkwardly reclining torso or hands through the hair doesn't it wear a bit thin?

The market may be saturated but that hasn't stopped the weird and wonderful from springing up. Every angle is catered for - squirters, milfs, barely 16, Big and Busty, old swingers and all manner either side and on top of them and no doubt very interesting too.
Sex sells and for anything from £3 - 4 and up it's not too hard to see that your right hand's for dipping into your pocket and shelling out.

Perhaps we would all like the 'perfect' figure or like to at least come across well. Leaving aside the fetish ends of the market then the bulk loosely centres around your 34-24-34 model or thereabouts. Although this zone has been augmented to accentuate the allure of the female form.
The character Jessica in 'Who framed Roger Rabbit?' epitomises the caricature - botoxed lips, curvy thighs, large breasts and soft purr voice - enough to make the sanest rabbit slobber.
With cosmetic surgery, gymnasiums and diet plus make up, accessories and media techniques even the quite plain can become Jessica Rabbit. Hence Katie Price becomes uberbabe Jordan.

Flesh, curves and lots of it.

Many a male would like to wallow in the stuff. So much that an attack of the 50 foot woman could be appealing - bedding down in sumptious marshmallow woman. Mmmmmm . . .
Although the last time any man found himself anywhere close to a woman of those proportions it will have been at birth.

Run away!

See also -
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html?pagewanted=1&ei=5087&en=4c0bd9b9392f83a7&ex=1152421200&nl=ep&emc=ep

reading, 'riting and 'rithmetic - arse?

There is a considerable amount of discussion over the use of language - written, spoken and in a wider context. An article in the New Scotsman exposes an appalling lack of standards in the educational sphere(1). Professor Frank Furedi argues much the same in his book 'Where have all the intellectuals gone ?', lamenting the lack of indepth, intellectual inquiry and lack of discipline(2). When I go to amazon to see a book of interest I'm frequently surprised that there are no customer reviews. All testimony to the fact that we are not paying perhaps as much attention as we should. Yet we supposedly have more free time than ever before. So what's amiss?

Some say we move too fast. Texting and computers have been said to have undermined correct english - gr8, lol, ect, etc . Maybe, but the kids can multitask like no other and hold adult conversations when it suits. Ok, so the writing isn't always spot on but then they could become Doctors.

Back2Basics? The three 'r's give it away from the start - who's fooling who?
I wouldn't profess to know the ins and outs of the discussion - that's best left to the experts. An embarassing moment was when talking to a workmate, I strung a sentence together and for some reason ended up banging in loads of 'big' words (many of them in context). Lordy, am I clever! The reply? - 'I don't know what you're saying, but I know what you mean'. Shoot me down in flames. Anyway, that was a long time ago and we were very drunk at the time.

When in the sixth form rumour had it that one of our english Tutors had written a forty page essay on The letter a. I tried to fathom this out - its uses in singular form, colloquialism, dialect and influence in words and sound - a cat sat on a mat, open wide, say 'aaaahh'? 40 pages? go on, Sir!, but not for me. As much as I'd like to read the good man's work there is way too much to absorb already.

Every locale seems to have it's paper or papers, the papershops are stuffed full of magazines showing stuff that we may get to do fleetingly, selling dreams or just talking shite, everywhere sells books and yesteryear's news was the day after's underlay - all very fascinating and enough choice for everyone. Plus internet, blog, junkmail and all that stuff from various councils. Let alone rereading old 'favourites' or books not understood first time around.

The spoken and written word (those for others or to be viewed again L8r) - the presented word? - can do many things and some that the presenter is unaware of at the time. One can either strike lucky - a case of a positive direction and all the lights are green. And then sometimes one overcooks it and suffers a proverbial egg.
One that thankfully went astray from yours truly was an early attempt at a critique of a spirited club singer. Many things about the evening acted on what I felt at the time and the resulting review turned out to be a thinly veiled missive to an ex- missus. Thankfully that one's 'buried' now but one really must be careful.

What of Eminem? the staccato rap attack of in-yer-face provocation. He is whatever you say he is and if you call him he will chew it up and spit it back at you. And make a few bucks at the same time.
Sometimes you don't need words. A patient in a psychiatric unit once introduced me to the lulting* rhythm of Mendelssohn and Fingal's cave. I could feel what he meant.

Then of course there's politicians, comedians and word association football. Not to mention spoonerism - half heard words that you thought you heard but weren't sure.

Messing about with language extends the use of words and their meanings. A deft choice of word or subtle omission can carry deeper resonance than at first understood or the orator's take can be the result of chinese whispers. A colleague once complained that he could shit in the eye of an eagle. I was impressed.

Anglo-saxon verbiage is said to have been particularly coarse. Retrospective actions by the Victorians to clean up the language resulted in many name and language changes including the whitearse to the wheatear (2).

Call me a philistine but with so much to choose from it's difficult to pick the 'right' book(s) - and I don't mean those to be seen reading - the work that inspires, educates or encourages one to think afresh. Harder to read and absorb than your average novel, autobiography or eyewitness account these require quality attention, note taking and discussion - worth the effort.

Unfortunately, for those of us that would like to see the world a better place, there is no shortcut. My own stumbling forays into the world of politics have been hampered by this. Sure, an individual can offer insights or play a bit part but winning arguments requires study and the development of intellectual stamina.

Must try harder.


(1) http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1959942005
(2)http://www.birdsofbritain.co.uk/features/bird-names.htm
* Quite possibly should be 'lilting' but can't bring myself to change it. http://dictionary.reference.com/search?r=2&q=lilting m/e root 'lulten'.

The end of the world is nigh?

'We're all gonna die' - txt msg from 'Pinky'.

Our hedonistic plunge into all things Sodom and Gomorrah is apparently upsetting more than your average priest/mullah/rabbi (delete where applicable (Spoilt for choice really). Doom laden predictions of the future come from all quarters. Not so subtle Tv programmes, books magazines and articles abound on 'healthy living' and how cool it would be to 'save' the planet.
For those spared a creationist or unchanging view of the world it ought to come as no surprise that it is in plain organic fact constantly changing (1). From Tsunamis, volcanoes, 'freak' weather and everything inbetween the earth gets a battering and is constantly on the move. Mother nature is somewhat schizophrenic and we should get used to it.

It's not all bad. There are two good things to come out of the doom laden whingeing of eco warriors. One being an acceptance that the earth is changing, at whatever pace, and therefore we really shouldn't view our lives as static, although significant changes are unlikely to occur over an individual's lifetime (unless with human agency). And, two, the paucity of ideas from the let's panic brigade - limited at best and nigh on fatalistic otherwise. Definitely not an aspirational vision.

What if the climate heats up and the seas rise? (I think that's still the latest prediction.) Do we suddenly forget how to cope with living under different conditions? After all, human beings survive in more habitats than any other species being able to adapt the environment to suit. Isn't it also the case that a warmer or more varied climate encourages and supports more species? (2)

What if . . we didn't bury our heads in the sand and made a pre-emptive strike (albeit by a few millenia)? The oceans are vastly unexplored for starters and developing craft and structures for their study may shed great light for our future descendents should their world shrink but also be of benefit should we take the leap into space. There are possibilities for living by, in or underwater (3).

What of vast civil engineering works? - irrigating wilderness, carving vast inlets into continents, desalination plants? (4) Surely that would leave the world in a better state for future generations. Although I'm not so sure that is what our noble leaders mean when they use such phrases.


http://www.guardian.co.uk/climatechange/story/0,12374,782628,00.html
http://www.policynetwork.net/uploaded/pdf/IPN_impacts_report_embargoed.pdf
(1)http://www.scotese.com/earth.htm
http://images.google.com/images?q=rising+sea+levels&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images
(2)http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/mid_/4176182.stm
(3)http://www.conway.com/ssinsider/snapshot/sf030915.htm
http://www.poseidonresorts.com/virtualtour.html
(4)http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/1999/china.50/asian.superpower/three.gorges/
http://www.hitachizosen.co.jp/english/solution/en_solu5-e.html

The plot thickens?

Was the moon landing a hoax? Did Diana suffer at the hands of hired men? Are referees bent? (or just occasionally crap) ls Shabaz for real? etc., etc., ad infinitum.

Any tale is open to interpretation and tellers well always put their bent or be subject to 'unknown unknowns'. We see plots where there aren't any, patch up loose ends to get a beginning and so on. Indeed many a quirky fact or interesting lead is turned up but it would seem that once you go down that route things become evermore outlandish (1).
Scour the net and there's loads of this stuff, enough to make you believe that not much 'out there' is, erm, believable.
However, once you start picking through them their incoherence becomes apparent.

9/11 for instance - planes guided from the ground, mock-up at the Pentagon, explosives in the Towers, brainwashed dupes, etc. Enough and more to make Tolkein look like an amateur and not bad going for people that supposedly can't organise proverbials in a brewery.

There can be reason to believe that an unfair hand has been involved. The moon landings occured at a time when The US wanted to be the undisputed champions in space and given the uses of fabricated evidence it could have been a Hollywood set. Like the cow, though, get over it - we've been to the moon.


Diana was certainly an embarassment to the status quo and the accident was fortunate for those that uphold the sanctity, if not the sanity (2), of the monarchy. (I'd actually let Charles off talking to plants after all the earbashing my pc gets). However, Diana was merely a chapter in an unravelling saga.
Although you wouldn't put it past them.

Most of us accept that Elvis is dead, don't we?

What do hoax theories reveal? Probably that we don't believe much of what is put before us. There is an unacknowledged understanding that life is often valued or explained at a superficial level. Most of us just want to get through it intact, sort of plod on. Some want to make it one way or another. Those that idly dream are perhaps wont to drag down achievers or go getters whilst indulging in wishful thinking. Not believing in anything today, enchanted by the ancient but scared of the new or believing that some more intelligent (yet strangely humanoid) alien life form exists in another dimension (3).

Then, of course, you wouldn't put it past them. Anyone with a passing interest in politics, military affairs and indeed those of the heart will know there is always duplicity, cover up, intrigue and other flirtations with the truth. It makes this world go around, sort of. (4)

I must admit to sniffing some plotting after reading of Pentagon involvement with aspects of the film industry at the time of the release of the film Pearl Harbor (2001). This when the US was bristling and Bush upping the ante (6).

Perhaps the problem with conspiracy theories is the suggestion that the powers that be are all powerful, all controlling and that their operations run smoothly . .
. . hmm.

(1)http://www.rense.com/
http://www.vialls.com/
and http://www.vialls.com/wecontrolamerica/peakoil.html
(2)http://videodetective.com/home.asp?PublishedID=5607
(3)http://www.geocities.com/tasdevil42/featured-photos.html
http://images.google.com/images?q=alien+life+forms&svnum=10&hl=en&lr=&start=0&sa=N
(4)http://news.scotsman.com/index.cfm?id=1855852005
(5)See also http://www.spiked-online.com/Articles/0000000CAE89.htm
(6)Top gun versus Sergeant Bilko? Duncan Campbell, MediaGuardian.co.uk, Aug 2001.



ps Poor sleep etzzz . . . . meant an eyeballing of Big Brother just to see what the attraction is/was. People offering themselves up to that level of scrutiny can't really expect much sympathy if it 'all goes wrong'. Shabaz aside, methinx from what l've seen of Pete, he suffers a social illness in that he's largely unrestrained in what he wants to say and is overegging it with his caricatures. He did seem to hit the nail on the head (in the bits that l saw) and strike something of a common chord. Who else agrees that when he called various of his colleagues 'hwanker! he expressed what we were thinking?
Perhaps more revealing is how he is more relaxed and less prone to express himself in that way now that he's in an 'open' environment and can express himself more freely.
Big Brother should maybe turn the screw some here and flood or aversion therapy the guy - or maybe he's the ringer? (Jus' kidding).

Not fair? Who are you trying to kid? The whole show is an expose of the self (of sorts) and all it's extensions. Others have probably said that we see in the participants extreme forms of ourselves. Our quirks naked for all to see. Us perhaps squealy voyeurs and closet wannabes (could also be the start of a successful career - l suggest a spinoff Pete and Shabaz on a desert island or flat that is hooked up via net and mobile phone to the outside world. My guess is they'd probably 'cure' each other - and would be up for it).

Not fair, cont'd . . Bullying perhaps? Funny that the blonde haired lady was hauled up for a 'mauling' and sherzzassshhh was allowed to continue his manipulation of events for far too long. He was allowed to act the spoilt brat to get his way. The opposite end of the spectrum to bullying perhaps but far more insidious in effect. ln this case the emptiest contestant held full sway and now the manipulation continues (Like, l say it could all be a plot and Sheraz is in on it. Pff mugs ain't we, eh?) lf it's the case that the poor guy had gotten to the point of considering suicide then Big Brother is guilty as charged. l'm sure the contestants had some clue what they were letting themselves in for. . . .

. . .Zzzzz

Saving Charlotte Wyatt.

Why is medical science too afraid to take on the challenge that the Wyatt's have presented them? Charlotte Wyatt is to all intents and purposes a living human being and her parents 'little fighter'. Granted the poor girl has considerable difficulties and may endure a naturally short and painful life and has only survived thus far with considerable attention. . . . . Her parents want as much support given to her as is possible and really, shouldn't this be the case?

Maybe it's not so ironic that Charlotte's parents are christian (of one loose affiliation or another). Having their broken daughter fixed to become whole again may be rich in symbolism, say, resurrection or something. I'm not sure and wouldn't want to burden them with another argument. However, it should be the case that every endeavour is made for Charlotte's survival and improvement. And while we're at it maybe we could discuss the value of human life.

Mr. and Mrs. Wyatt may be fighting something of a losing battle both legally and medically but that doesn't mean that they lose. There's a window of opportunity here.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2-1749984,00.htmlork

NIMBY#5 Housing for the future?

According to a Times Bricks and Mortar supplement some 67% of us are disappointed with our houses. Whether respondents were transplacing other feelings onto their houses or whether this relates to the houses themselves is a moot point. It could be the spiralling cost or some concern over where society is headed. Astute buyers may have made a killing on the back of an inflated market but one does wonder what sort of dwellings our children or grandchildren may inhabit. Houses built at todays level of output would have to stand for 1500 years! Somehow can't see that happening by any measure as modern housing lacks the solidity of its predecessors and merely apes the style, particularly mass built housing.

Most modern housing is stuck in a timewarp. New developments of mock tudor or georgian 'style' are hastily built on any scrap of land where demand is high. New environmentally sensitive regulations call for higher density build so we still live unnecessarily in the lap of our neighbours.

Despite many improvements in materials and construction methods new housing still attempts to replicate the old. Where factory built housing components are manufactured they still resemble brickwork and little genuine prefabricated work exists particularly in the UK. Even manufacturers of prefabricated buildings still feel the need to encase buildings in brick tiles for that traditional look ie. to make them look like something that they are not.

This is pathetic but understandable in a culture that dare not face the future and seeks comfort in an imagined past.

What of bolder visions?

Although some architects may produce expensive and gimmicky one offs there are houses designed and built with increased specification and functionality, relatively simple in design and execution yet far from commonplace. Frank Lloyd-Wright with his Fallingwater house, for one, showed that nature should not bind us to limitations . . .

View/read on:
http://www.audacity.org/Acrobat%20Reader%20files/Housing%20Forum%202002.pdf
http://www.lmearchitecture.com/houses.htm
http://brasembottawa.org/cd/1arq_3.9.2.res_macab_helio.htm
http://www.google.co.uk/search?hl=en&q=falling+water+house&btnG=Google+Search&meta=
http://www.treehugger.com/files/prefab/index.php
http://www.channel4.com/4homes/diyandbuilding/buildinghouse/kit_homes.html

Money, money, money . . .

Currently there's to be a revamp of UK currency with a £3o,ooo prize for the six winning designs. Being totally crap with money, and bearing a grudge against my bank manager I'd rather do away with the stuff completely then we could discuss a better way to manage our affairs. (And my bank manager could get a proper job.)








http://money.guardian.co.uk/news_/story/0,1456,1551368,00.html

NIMBY#4. Go wild in the country.

The route to and from work can be a particular joy - especially this time of year with the fields, meadows, wetlands and woods all in brilliant colour. On good days the whole area comes alive - joggers, fishermen, canoeists, barges, 'mountain' bikers, dog walkers and so on.

It teems with wildlife and farm animals - heron, kingfisher, woodpeckers - in fact more birds than I could throw a stick at (jus' kidding) let alone name - even a couple of rare (to these isles) stork. Then there's mink, shrews, mice, bats and the occasional deer . . one could go on.

Oh, and wild cherries grow around the sewage treatment plant - tasty.

Despite all this though in real terms the area is nothing special. Disused railway lines, quarries, tips and crumbling old buildings show that we've been here before. When the motorway network was in its infancy a proposed link road was outlined to join the M1 and M62 from Dewsbury to Wakefield. Though such a scheme would likely cause a great deal of protest today it should be noted that the canal network was a development from navigable rivers and a forerunner of such things as motorways. Myself, despite being pro-industry and for development, wouldn't particularly want to live too close to a major road - who does?

But then nobody should really have to. There is no shortage of available land - according to the government Department for the Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (1) only 10.6% of UK landmass is built upon. This figure is from 1991 but since then most development has occurred on previously developed sites - 'brownfield'. Far from covered in concrete then and plentiful land so that we shouldn't have to live on top of one another. (Not that there is anything wrong in particular with high rise, hustle and bustle city living but that is a different matter.)

Many problems face those that wish to live in the countryside. One respondent had the good fortune to acquire some old buildings but nature and officialdom won the day. Not only did the old, listed buildings have to be rebuilt to specification but since Bats moved into the residence the new owner was not allowed to occupy it!

(1)http://www.defra.gov.uk/environment/statistics/land/lduse.htm
(2)See also http://www.newstatesman.com/landreform/lrindex.htm

NIMBY#3, Border dispute.

Despite the cosiness of the neighbourhood private property issues do surface. We all like our own space from time to time and our private concerns clash with others. 24/7 living and working means that people come and go all times of day or night, Canadian geese honk in excitement(!?!) as they approach Pugneys Lake (an ex quarry), kids playing out, the relentless DIY and garden maintainance or just playing music.

The neighbourhood is more or less constantly 'active'.
Weekend mornings become slowly disturbed as someone dares to break the relative peace and tranquility. Usually about half past nine the first few lump hammer and bolster chisel blows or power tools can be heard only to die off for a sheepish half hour as the slumbering neighbourhood resigns itself to arousal.

One of the chief culprits is Dave (whose bloody kids make World War 3 sound as though it's going off in my backyard - bless 'em).
When fixing the fence in my lower garden he asked if I could do something about the privet hedge that threatened to push out the wall into his backyard.
Pfff, go on then. As the fence was being held up by the bush they both went. Dave and family got used to the increased light and openess and I couldn't be arsed rebuilding a fence so everything turned out well.

When a new neighbour dropped a row of leylandii things got even better - much more openess. It led me to think of how we view our territory and the uses we put it to.
When we consider that, at a guess, some two thirds of homes all have common features in their gardens - shed and tools, benches, etc and the occasional use we put them to it seemed like a good idea to have all the gardens minimised opening up to parkland and backing on to the pub. Do away with all the replicated junk that we horde and have a proper public house and 'garden'. It would be even nicer to move the adjoining pallet yard and follow through to the River Calder's edge, perhaps build a boathouse.

To the front of the Pub and behind the old Post Office (now closed) there used to be a Foundry - a longstanding bone of contention to residents. Now closed down the land is to be used for yet more houses. Not a village green then.

Back to the real world.

The local pub is undergoing a fair amount of renovation as the landlord approaches retirement age and is considering selling up. Part of this is the erection of a new wall dividing the offset gardens and the pub's beer garden. Long established and overgrown hedges that had formed a natural barrier gave way to a border dispute, lines were drawn and some choice cussing was to be heard.

Bollocks!